I had a pretty awsome dream today.
I woke up with anxiouty which I had yesterday and this morning together with a horrible depresion, then I felt asleept and dream this:
I was somewhere in the middle east, not sure where or why? maybe turkey or somewhere ells?
I had just got there and didn't understand much of there languarge. I had to pee and since I where seen as a guy I didnt had a shalf, I was unsure if it was a good idea to use the mens room, normally its not a problem, but normally I dont worry what people think of me either. I decided to use the mens bathroom but I also used to sit down and I feared it may be previewed as a femenine act. so I try to stand up and pee without much succes. while trying I notice theres a open space where a guy look at me, he didnt see what I got between my legs but he takes my strugle to peeing as a vulgar way of mastrubate infront of a man.
He caught me in the arm tell me "NO THIS IS NOT ACCEPTED, GAY AND LESBIANS IS NOT ACCEPTED IN THIS COUNTRY!!
I panic thinking what gonna happent,
while he drag me he put me to a cafe nearby where a few people sits in the backroom. he say something to a lady and leave me with the people. I notice something is diffrent and I say "what you are a transwoman!" she slap me on my head tell me to hush..
after all its very unaccepted to be lgbt in this country so we cant be noticed. its not only the woman but the people around are gay and lesbians, they dont say they are but I somehow sense it. In the other room theres the typical guys who dont know the truth, they just belive she is a woman as everyone ells, and they belive we are there to study the languarge not knowing this is some sort of discrett glbt comming together. These highly religious guys give us food to suport her languarge project, and even a lady who is wellknowed for being islamphobic and transphobic hand us pancakes.
when these people are around we speak english to try make it look as we study, but when they dont look we dont pay much attention.
theres televishion in the background and 2 guys start to dance to some tyrkish music. I also start to dance.
I where so scared what would had been to me when I got caught, but now I noticed the guy had draged me to a glbt friendly place I didnt knew exited in the country. I almost cry of happyness for being there. I am very thouched how they manage to make this space when there guys 3 meters away from us who deeply wished that our kinds where death, yet we dont care.
as I wake up my depression is gone, and my anxioty is very low.
