I have lived long to realize that there is an endless variety of people and thus there is little evidence that there is such a thing as the typical ______________ (You fill in the blank.) However, I realized early on that I didn't seem to fit into any neat category. I've never been particularly manly if one could actually explain what that means. I never played any of the rough and tumble sports of youth but I know many men who also didn't do this and no one would ever think to label them as unmanly. For good or ill I plowed my own furrow. Although as a child I occasionally dressed up as a girl when no one was home, but it wasn't an obsession. I went through many years when the thought of cross dressing never even crossed my mind. Even now I can go months without giving it a passing thought. And then... And then from a whisper to a roar it becomes an intense part of my thoughts. I have trouble sleeping. My dreams are flooded with thoughts about how it would feel to be a woman again, to replace my men's briefs with panties or a gaff, to have the pleasure of wearing a bra with my breast forms, to apply makeup and lipstick, and to wear clothes that give so much pleasure. I troll the internet looking for just the right articles of apparel and cosmetics, building sizable wish lists. (Admittedly sometimes my best shopping efforts don't quite work out as planned. Perhaps the subject another post another time.) When circumstances allow I take these carefully groomed thoughts and turn them into days of dressing whenever I can. And then as quickly as it came upon me, the passion for cross dressing evaporates. All my gear goes into storage (at least I have finally given up purging) until the next time, be that a few weeks, a few months, years. So the question is, how typical or atypical is my pattern?
