Help! I Hate Being A Transsexual!

[FreshGuy]

Help, I hate being a transsexual, it is destroying my life. I can't go on living with this fear of being a transsexual.

Nobody seems to be willing to help me, I don't know what to do. I have lost my new job cos I had nowhere to live so now my life is falling apart.

I don't know what to do, my life is falling apart, I barely leave my room and I hate being a transsexual!


HELLLLPPPPPPPPPPP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

[CalmRage]

Help, I hate being a transsexual, it is destroying my life. I can't go on living with this fear of being a transsexual.

Nobody seems to be willing to help me, I don't know what to do. I have lost my new job cos I had nowhere to live so now my life is falling apart.

I don't know what to do, my life is falling apart, I barely leave my room and I hate being a transsexual!


HELLLLPPPPPPPPPPP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

what exactly makes you a transsexual in this case. You don't want to be another gender, right? Why do you worry then? And even if you are, there's no shame in that, FreshGuy.

[Danielle Emmalee]

FreshGuy, I was just talking about you here recently.  Good to know you're still around.  The answers you're going to get unfortunately aren't likely to be different now from what they were before unless you have some new information to give us

[FreshGuy]

FreshGuy, I was just talking about you here recently.  Good to know you're still around.  The answers you're going to get unfortunately aren't likely to be different now from what they were before unless you have some new information to give us

I have some new information:

When I went to the supermarket I deliberately walked through the female products aisle to expose myself to my fear and when I was walking through it I got like a slight warm feeling in my chest.

Also when I was watching a music video I noticed how pretty all the woman in it and then I thought "maybe I want to look like them" I also get a similar thought when I see a picture of Britney Spears.

The other day I was masturbating and I had an image in my head of myself with breasts.

[Danielle Emmalee]

Interesting.  Why do you feel that you would like to look like a woman, do you think?  I mean besides the fact that you think you might be transsexual.  My advice to you is to forget about labels like transsexual and really think about what makes you happy. 

[CalmRage]

I have some new information:

When I went to the supermarket I deliberately walked through the female products aisle to expose myself to my fear and when I was walking through it I got like a slight warm feeling in my chest.

Also when I was watching a music video I noticed how pretty all the woman in it and then I thought "maybe I want to look like them" I also get a similar thought when I see a picture of Britney Spears.

The other day I was masturbating and I had an image in my head of myself with breasts.

That still doesn't necessarily mean you're transsexual. Let me ask you something: Do you feel fine with your gender?

[Lauren5]

Interesting.  Why do you feel that you would like to look like a woman, do you think?  I mean besides the fact that you think you might be transsexual.  My advice to you is to forget about labels like transsexual and really think about what makes you happy.

This. I hate having the label transsexual. I prefer the label woman. But since society sees me as male, I have to cope with the label from outsiders for now. They don't understand, and likely never will. Unfortunate, but it's all I can do.

[Danielle Emmalee]

I'd like to talk to you a little bit more.  Maybe we could be friends.  Do you have Facebook?  You can trust me not to tell anyone else here your name or anything if your worried about that.  And I wouldn't post anything on your Facebook wall and my whole page is private so nobody will know that you are friends with a transgender person if you're worried about things like that.


Reason being is that I think posting here every few weeks or months and getting the same responses from different people isn't helping you.  I think some consistency with who you talk to could be helpful.  Of course I'd like that to be a therapist but I understand if you haven't gotten to that point yet.

[FreshGuy]

Interesting.  Why do you feel that you would like to look like a woman, do you think?  I mean besides the fact that you think you might be transsexual.  My advice to you is to forget about labels like transsexual and really think about what makes you happy.

Um well I wouldn't really say that I would like to look like a woman. I think woman get a better choice of men though, I don't really like gay men.

When I was watching the music video I just suddenly thought "maybe I want to look like that"

But I don't want to look like that

I think I might be in the early stages of discovering my transsexualism.

[Danielle Emmalee]

I'm going to be completely honest about that with you.  If you want a bigger selection of men to choose from, your going to likely be severely disappointed in that department as a transsexual.

[FreshGuy]

I'd like to talk to you a little bit more.  Maybe we could be friends.  Do you have Facebook?  You can trust me not to tell anyone else here your name or anything if your worried about that.  And I wouldn't post anything on your Facebook wall and my whole page is private so nobody will know that you are friends with a transgender person if you're worried about things like that.


Reason being is that I think posting here every few weeks or months and getting the same responses from different people isn't helping you.  I think some consistency with who you talk to could be helpful.  Of course I'd like that to be a therapist but I understand if you haven't gotten to that point yet.

Hey, I'm, not keen on giving out my facebook but it will be cool to keep in contact.

[FreshGuy]

I'm going to be completely honest about that with you.  If you want a bigger selection of men to choose from, your going to likely be severely disappointed in that department as a transsexual.

Hm, well that sucks lol

[Danielle Emmalee]

You can't just become a woman.  A mtf transsexual is already a woman.  She just goes through processes to look more like the part.  You aren't going to look like Britney Spears or the women in music videos (most likely).  Most genetic women don't even look like that.  Not even Britney Spears looks like that in real life.

[Danielle Emmalee]

Hey, I'm, not keen on giving out my facebook but it will be cool to keep in contact.

How can we stay in touch?  You seem to disappear for long periods of time.

[FreshGuy]

You can't just become a woman.  A mtf transsexual is already a woman.  She just goes through processes to look more like the part.  You aren't going to look like Britney Spears or the women in music videos (most likely).  Most genetic women don't even look like that.  Not even Britney Spears looks like that in real life.

If mtfs are already women then how can I be a woman if I am a man? This all just so confusing.

Maybe this is an OCD issue, rather than a transsexual issue.

[Danielle Emmalee]

It's pretty likely.  But that's a good thing.  OCD might be easier to treat than being transsexual.  If you can learn to accept the possibility and seek treatment for it.

[Chaos]

If mtfs are already women then how can I be a woman if I am a man? This all just so confusing.

Maybe this is an OCD issue, rather than a transsexual issue.

So you feel that everything is fine lined? for example: do you feel that a black man has a black brain,black heart,black well..everything and the same goes for gender? we all make up one large mass.Brain,heart,soul,ideals,perceptions and much more.A better example: If you needed heart surgery and someone elses heart was placed inside of your chest,would you like that all those around you ignored your existence and claimed said heart was not real? think you need to just think on it for awhile.

[Heather]

You should probably should ask yourself if you had to spend the rest of your life as a man could you live with it? I remember some of your older post and each one of them has the same problem your asking help for questions only you can answer we can't tell you that your trans or you would be happier as a woman. You should try to find a good therapist to help you with these questions.
I never had the level of panic your having about this for me being a woman was not something to fear it was as natural to me as breathing it's who I am. When you know who you are their is no panic it's just who you are. So please look within yourself there you will find the answers you seek.

[Missy~rmdlm]

Being TS does suck. That's why therapy is always a recommendation whether or not one transitions.

[Ms Grace]

Random thoughts about wanting to look like Britney or having breasts doesn't necessarily make you trans* just in the same way thinking a guy looks hot doesn't necessarily make you gay. Society has a very black and white attitude about sex and gender, and you are realising that there are many shades of grey. Plenty of people wonder and fantasise about being the opposite gender without them being trans* or even curious. Being trans* though is a crushing day to day dissonance brought about by being forced by society to live as a gender that doesn't match how you feel yourself to be; living in a body that simply doesn't match your heart/mind/soul.

It does seem that you may have some transphobia (believe me, I had plenty of that myself) and are struggling with your life and identity - there's nothing remotely wrong with that, everyone struggles with their life and identity... even the seemingly successful and confident types. Please find some support, people to talk to who can help you find a way through. <3 has offered you a helping hand. All the best...