What the heck is wrong with men? (OkCupid this time)

[Katie]

Lesbians usually have an attraction to vaginas...........

If ya have a vag I imagine ya might have a chance.....

[KabitTarah]

Lesbians usually have an attraction to vaginas...........

If ya have a vag I imagine ya might have a chance.....

.... and if you don't?

[Beth Andrea]

Lesbians usually have an attraction to vaginas...........

If ya have a vag I imagine ya might have a chance.....

Many lesbians are actually bi, they just don't say it because guys are too often creeps. Although some of us still have male parts, so long as we 'act' (no negative meaning here) like women, we're good for them. We don't want touches downstairs...and they don't want to give touches down there.

I've had accounts on a few dating sites, and on the notorious Craigslist, and clearly say "I don't give out pics, meet me and then decide if I'm attractive or not"...yet most people send a reply and ask, "Got a pic?"

Delete, delete, DELETE.

[LordKAT]

Beth,
You should get a pic of a Dalek saying that and use it every time you hear that "got a pic?" line. They might get the idea that you hear it much too often.

[Adam (birkin)]

Although some of us still have male parts, so long as we 'act' (no negative meaning here) like women, we're good for them. We don't want touches downstairs...and they don't want to give touches down there.

From what I have observed, what Beth says here is true.

[PHXGiRL]

Okcupid if full of ->-bleeped-<-s and sex addicts. Its the craigslist of online dating sites. I never in my life have been asked by so many people to do things, have three somes, and been told so many inappropriate things. I deleted my account and joined Match. It sucks too only because I have not met that special man but I think sites that force you to pay weeds out the majority of dirtbags.

[Ms Grace]

We have a few sites here in Australia which are reasonably good quality paid membership sites. I used them a few times several years ago and met up with some nice women, only problem was they were (obviously) hetro women looking for a hetro guy who wasn't harbouring trans woman tendencies! As a "guy" using those sites I was always well mannered, non creepy and easy going... never had a problem getting a meet up lunch date, just nothing much beyond that.  As relationships go I never felt any real chemistry or sexual desire for them. Increasingly I wasn't even interested in getting to first base which is why I decided to stop using online dating because there was clearly something going on that I didn't understand and it was as much a waste of their time as mine.

[KabitTarah]

From what I have observed, what Beth says here is true.

It gives me hope...
I still don't know what I am - but I'm not really into men socially or physically (above the waist ) so only if HRT can change that part . . .

[evecrook]

It's difficult I'm just beginning my transition and never used a dating site. I had a good friend that turned lover but I ended feeling like a prostitute. This happened with a very close friend. All I can say is that guy's are a trip.

[eli77]

Anyone had any experiences of lesbian dating sites?

OKCupid is the default queer girl dating site, at least in North America. Mostly due to the fabulous ability to make yourself invisible to blokes.

Lesbians usually have an attraction to vaginas...........

If ya have a vag I imagine ya might have a chance.....

Depends on the person and what you both are interested in doing in bed.

Age tends to be the biggest factor. Younger women are far more likely to be interested in dating a pre-op trans woman than older women are. Also it helps if you are hot. Particularly queer-hot.

Many lesbians are actually bi, they just don't say it because guys are too often creeps. Although some of us still have male parts, so long as we 'act' (no negative meaning here) like women, we're good for them.

Eh. I'd say "so long as we act like queer women, we're good for them," which isn't quite the same thing. There is definitely an expectation that you will know something about queer female culture, and be aware of certain norms that are exclusive to queer women communities. There is a whole kind of language and style associated with gay ladies, just like there is for any subculture. If you've never heard of Arcade Fire, nobody is going to believe you are a hipster. Just as if you've never heard of Tegan and Sara, nobody is going to believe you are a lesbian. Etc.

(For example, go here: http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/gay-sex-vs-straight-sex/ and scroll all the way down to the subheading "Stuff Gay People Like" and click on the female icon. If you don't recognize/care about most things on that list, you are probably going to have a hard time of it.)

[KabitTarah]

Eh. I'd say "so long as we act like queer women, we're good for them," which isn't quite the same thing. There is definitely an expectation that you will know something about queer female culture, and be aware of certain norms that are exclusive to queer women communities. There is a whole kind of language and style associated with gay ladies, just like there is for any subculture. If you've never heard of Arcade Fire, nobody is going to believe you are a hipster. Just as if you've never heard of Tegan and Sara, nobody is going to believe you are a lesbian. Etc.

(For example, go here: http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/gay-sex-vs-straight-sex/ and scroll all the way down to the subheading "Stuff Gay People Like" and click on the female icon. If you don't recognize/care about most things on that list, you are probably going to have a hard time of it.)

That's the first time I've heard anyone talk about lesbian culture...
And yes, I like T&S. I heard an interview on OutQ w/ one of them and immediately got their CD I wonder if OutQ is a good place to learn more about this.

[Carlita]

That's the first time I've heard anyone talk about lesbian culture...
And yes, I like T&S. I heard an interview on OutQ w/ one of them and immediately got their CD I wonder if OutQ is a good place to learn more about this.

OK ... I think I get it ... What Terrance and Phillip are to South Park, Tegan and Sara are to gay women ... right? 

[Sammy]

OK ... I think I get it ... What Terrance and Phillip are to South Park, Tegan and Sara are to gay women ... right? 

In b4 the lock!

[Apples Mk.II]

I ca't believe I've been forced to invoke the key and lock comparison...

[vlmitchell]

I've been in a pre-op lesbian relationship with my partner for six years. Some of it's fun. Some of it's not. Being with guys is way easier in almost every way but I enjoy and appreciate our dynamic and tenderness more than I can say. As for your ability to hook up with another lesbian? It's possible but a long shot in many ways.

[eli77]

That's the first time I've heard anyone talk about lesbian culture...
And yes, I like T&S. I heard an interview on OutQ w/ one of them and immediately got their CD I wonder if OutQ is a good place to learn more about this.

Possibly. I don't really do radio myself. Sorry. My preference for queer news is Autostraddle. Or my gf.

I've been in a pre-op lesbian relationship with my partner for six years. Some of it's fun. Some of it's not. Being with guys is way easier in almost every way but I enjoy and appreciate our dynamic and tenderness more than I can say. As for your ability to hook up with another lesbian? It's possible but a long shot in many ways.

I'm curious sometimes how different it really is. But being monosexual, I don't really have any options for satisfying that curiosity.

Personally, I waited till I was post-op to date, due to my issues with my body. I do know a trans girl who slept with rather a lot of ladies pre-op. Hot, young, and studying at a progressive university provides opportunities, apparently.