Well that was different.... I think that I got clocked from BEHIND

[Eva Marie]

This morning I was standing in a line of people to use the ATM, and more people were lining up behind me. No one in the line behind me saw my face. So i hear these guys speaking to each other in Spanish behind me, and then i hear one of them say "Woman?" as if they had a question about the only female there - me. They were obviously talking about me.

I had on a long sleeve corded sweater, skinny jeans, and long leather boots. I have enough boobage now to show plainly through the sweater. I have no idea what they could have possibly seen to tip them off, but something sure did *sigh*

I left the ATM and I went over to Target and then had to endure some guy staring and staring at the front of me. In fact I seem to get a lot of guys that stare and stare at me lately - it's getting creepy.

It wasn't a very encouraging way to start my day today.

[Ms Grace]

Sorry to hear that, hope your day gets better!

[Jill F]

No way.  With an ass like that???

[Heather]

I really wouldn't let it bother you even if they were clocking you don't know what they were talking about. And what kinda stares have you been getting from men? have you made eye contact with any of these men? If a guy is staring at you and you make eye contact with him and he smiles that means he likes you. Now if you make eye contact and he quickly looks away that probably means he may have clocked you but it could also be he's just shy. The point is men stare at women and they make comments about their bodies I know it's not nice but that's the way they are.
But I wouldn't worry even if you are getting clocked it happens sometimes just be comfortable with the woman you are and not focusing so much on what other people are thinking about you and live your life.

[Eva Marie]

No way.  With an ass like that???

I really wouldn't let it bother you even if they were clocking you don't know what they were talking about. And what kinda stares have you been getting from men? have you made eye contact with any of these men? If a guy is staring at you and you make eye contact with him and he smiles that means he likes you. Now if you make eye contact and he quickly looks away that probably means he may have clocked you but it could also be he's just shy. The point is men stare at women and they make comments about their bodies I know it's not nice but that's the way they are.
But I wouldn't worry even if you are getting clocked it happens sometimes just be comfortable with the woman you are and not focusing so much on what other people are thinking about you and live your life.

Heather-

I generally try not to eye contact with any guys when I'm out in girl mode; women I will make eye contact with but not to flirt or anything. Today's creepy guy was after I had paid and I was walking out and he was walking in, I was walking directly toward him to get to the doors, and he had just come in the door and was walking across my path about 20 feet away heading into the store, directly in my field of vision. He looked over at me and started the staring. I looked away and after a few seconds I looked back and yep, still staring. The creepy guy that stared at me last week was in a restaurant. I choose a table that was across from him (he had a booth and was eating with his wife) and he turned sideways in his seat, and stared at me the whole time I was eating. It was quite obvious what he was doing and I looked his way once and that was it because I didn't want to encourage him, but it didn't seem to help.

I am still new to this woman thing, maybe as you said it's just men being men. If men really do act that way it's shocking to me because I never acted that way when I was impersonating a guy LOL....

[Heather]

Heather-

I generally try not to eye contact with any guys when I'm out in girl mode; women I will make eye contact with but not to flirt or anything. Today's creepy guy was after I had paid and I was walking out and he was walking in, I was walking directly toward him to get to the doors, and he had just come in the door and was walking across my path about 20 feet away heading into the store. He looked over at me and started the staring. I looked away and after a few seconds I looked back and yep, still staring. The creepy guy that started at me last week was in a restaurant. I choose a table that was across from him (he had a booth and was eating with his wife) and he turned sideways in his seat, and stared at me the whole time I was eating. It was quite obvious what he was doing and I looked his way once and that was it because I didn't want to encourage him, but it didn't seem to help.

I am still new to this woman thing, maybe as you said it's just men being men. I men really do act that way it's shocking to me because *I* never acted that way!

Now if they are staring at you for long amounts of time that's not a good thing and they probably are clocking you or they are a very creepy guy and if that's the case you might actually want him to be clocking you. Most of the time when I have a guy checking me out I'll make eye contact with him now sometimes they'll look away but then their is some guys that will actually smile and say hi which I'll admit I love and can't get enough of.
The reason you could be getting clocked is your nervous and it's showing which draws unwanted attention. But if you walk into a room and own it you shouldn't draw any negative attention and making eye contact is an important part of showing that you are a confident person. I know we all want to be seen as women but we really can't control how other people view us we can only control how we view ourselves. When your out in public try not to think about if somebody is clocking you or not, just focus on being yourself and just being another woman going about her life and you may not know whether or not you pass 100% of the time, but you'll definitely be allot more happy.

[Ms Grace]

I am still new to this woman thing, maybe as you said it's just men being men. If men really do act that way it's shocking to me because I never acted that way when I was impersonating a guy LOL....

Certainly not all men, but sadly some of them do.

[Eva Marie]

Thanks ladies! You've certainly given me some things to think about.

[LizMarie]

Men stare at boobs. They just do.

If you're out in girl mode and men are staring, are they staring at your chest? Are they staring at your face? Your legs?

As someone else pointed out, smile and if they smile back then it's not a big deal. If they look away, they have not necessarily clocked you either. They may be embarrassed at having been caught staring or they may have "gotten enough" visually and moved on.

I discussed this with one guy I know after I came out. He's married to a friend of mine and very honest about these things, which I never understood as a "guy". According to him, men look. They just do. And it's usually a matter of them thinking "nice legs" or "cute ass" or "nice boobs".

One thing I've learned is never assume you've been clocked. Always assume something else until you get clear evidence to the contrary. Now you may still get clocked. But don't worry about it until you know.

[itsxandrea]

Good for you that you're being aware of your surroundings ... because you need to be, we all need to be, because you never know what can happen in a situation like that.

However ... please don't let this bother you too much, simply because (and I've done this a lot) we often put ideas in our own heads about what people are talking about (us) because we're insecure about it. It gets worse when you dwell on it and you unconsciously convince yourself that they were positively talking about you when ... they (MOST LIKELY) weren't.

My mom gave me good advice about this awhile ago ... she said, "Andrea, don't be so into yourself. The whole world isn't watching you all the time ... get over it and focus on what you're doing, not what someone else is thinking."  And you know, that's very true. At the early stages of transition, or even in general in transition, I think we get too caught up with our image and how we look for other people, we forget ... we're doing this for ourselves, not them ... and to tell you the truth ... when you *stop* focusing on what others are thinking, you pass even better because your confidence comes through.

Good luck with things hun