how to accept psychologically and physiologically that i am transgender?

[tanu priya]

hi, few days ago i met therapist and discussed my problem with her that i have some sort of gender identity disorder. Therapist told that first of all i have to accept psychologically that i am a transgender which means that i do not fit in the binary of male and female genders. She (therapist) also told that at present SRS is not my table due to my personal and financial constrains . From that day onwards i started to find solution to my problem or normal self(being a transgender). Friends please help me............what should i do ......................start wearing corset or something else.....................

[Jenny07]

Acceptance of your true self is the hardest step to take. Sometimes it can take years or more.
Some people procrastinate for years denying it and it never goes away, trust me I tried this.

Once you have accepted who you are inside then you can start moving forward one step at a time.
The right therapist is very important as well as seeing people like doctors and Endos who know what to do.

You might need time to think things over, perhaps not.
Things can move rather quickly in certain countries, myself it was just over a month from first therapy to HRT.
While clothes might be important later at this point not really.

The question you need to have the answer too is "what do I want to do about it?"

All the best
Jen.

[tanu priya]

i am unable to finalize- what to do?.....................i want to become a woman.........feel like a woman........dress like a woman..........live like a woman...............but i am unable to sort out things due to personal and financial constrains........

[Alainaluvsu]

I remember my first visit with my therapist. I was shaking, hunched over, talking low, unable to look him in the eye, wondering why his window was open hoping someone I knew wasn't listening. When I went home, I considered how this visit went for me - how this visit worked towards bringing out my true self. I must've looked so unsure of myself, which I knew wasn't doing me any good whatsoever. How could I ever get on HRT, let alone get SRS, if I'm so paranoid that my family may be lurking by the window listening to what I'm saying to a therapist.

My next visit, I went in there, looked him in the eyes, spoke to him with confidence and it made a big difference. He even mentioned the difference. 1 month later, I had my letter for HRT.

The point is, you can't go anywhere or do anything if you let fear cripple you. Once you expose your biggest fears .. your vulnerability, you're free. You just have to stand up and express yourself.

[Cindy]

i am unable to finalize- what to do?.....................i want to become a woman.........feel like a woman........dress like a woman..........live like a woman...............but i am unable to sort out things due to personal and financial constrains........

Hi Hon,

Sorry, I realise there is a language problem but do you mean you cannot afford clothes, HRT or therapy?

Cindy

[Eva Marie]

you can't go anywhere or do anything if you let fear cripple you. Once you expose your biggest fears .. your vulnerability, you're free. You just have to stand up and express yourself.

Alaina is right - the first step is to accept yourself as transgender and once you've done that then you can begin to work to overcome your fears. It's a process that's totally in your head and it takes time.

Could you tell us a bit more about these personal and financial constraints you have? That would help us to help you. Is it possible for you to see a therapist to help you sort out these feelings? Some of them work on a sliding scale based on your income.

[tanu priya]

on personal front i had lost my father 5 years ago, my mother is a heart patient who had undergone very critical heart surgery recently, my only sibling is younger brother who is only 8 years old. I am the only earning person in the house and i am unable to focus my attention on my profession due to thoughts related to ->-bleeped-<- . yes, i am unable to afford therapist, clothes, HRT and to afford SRS is simply next to impossible..

[Claire (formerly Magdalena)]

Hi Tanu Priya,

I hope I'm understanding correctly, but I think you're over-thinking it a bit. You don't have to physically DO anything.

You are a woman, though you're stuck in the wrong body. Physically your brain configuration is different from a male brain. This isn't anyone's fault. It is not something that could have been avoided. Nobody did anything "wrong" for you to be this way. You're not a freak. You're not broken. You are simply you and that's not just okay, it's great. 

Keep meeting with your therapist as you can, I'm sure she'll understand if you can't afford to see her on a regular schedule. HRT would be the logical next step, but there's no hurry. You don't have to start tomorrow. You can get to it at your own pace. You are taking care of your family right now, that's admirable.

Take a deep breath and relax. It's going to be okay. You've found a family here. We understand what you're going through, and from now on you're not going through it alone. The whole lot of us are on your side. We love and support you.

much love,
-maggie

[tanu priya]

thanks maggie, life is becoming too tough nowadays . mom is forcing me to get married soon(here in India to get married is an universal phenomenon) . my job is simply slipping out of my hands. whenever i see a girl/woman i feel that why can't i be like her . my mind is going through a roller coaster ride.

[Claire (formerly Magdalena)]

Do you think you can tell your mom how you feel? Maybe a therapist can help you find ways to break it to her...

love,
-maggie