So after almost two decades (I'm in my early thirties) of denial, anxiety and frenetically avoiding anything that could make others (or myself!) suspect what I am, I finally came out to my psychologist today, after rehearsing for days. Right now I'm feeling a weird combination of "what have I done??", exhaustion, relief, and an almost uncanny feeling of peace. He told me there's no need to worry - he'll give me all the necessary referrals to whatever treatment (and of course initially diagnosis, which he's not qualified to give) I need. I'm just so happy he's my therapist, he didn't even look surprised when I burst out in tears and told him about everything. And he's supportive - not a given, from what I hear.
Since I've already been through my life story at least one and a half times today (poor psychologist), I'm too exhausted to go through it again. But since I just had to tell someone about what happened, and would regret telling any of my friends or family (that won't happen until I am on HRT, if that ever happens), I figured I could stop lurking and tell you people I exist. I might not be posting a lot (I'm not big on forum posting in general), but at least now you know I'm here. You can call me Rina, by the way.
