Trans Friendly California

[kathyk]

Not saying much lately since I've had a few medical issues to take care of again.     So I'm back in California for routine medical and gender related stuff, along with the health problems.  But a big step in life is the court date for my name and gender change on December 5th.

I was anxious about coming here, but when I got off the plane in San Francisco it felt like home.  I was once again a woman in an open and accepting community.  A feeling of freedom overwhelmes me.  It was strange because I don't worry about BEING ME anywhere I go now, but here in the SF bay area there's just a relaxed feeling about it.  And to top it off I was the last person getting my bags off the plane, and as I walked towards the front a flight attendant told a maintenance worker to wait because there was one more lady exiting (me). 

I forgot how being a woman in transition isn't a sin here, and how so very few people even care.  I may love my little village in Michigan, but nothing beats the Bay Area for acceptance.  Even if there's a few bigots around, they're on the margins here and not me.  Don't get me wrong because some parts of California are as bad as anywhere else in the conservative northwest, but at least we're not forced to live in those places.

Last year at this time I'd have never thought I'd be changing my name and working with my doctor on a schedule for surgery.  Even with the nagging health problems I'm incredibly happy, and this transition is something that will never be stopped. 

So take care girls.  And I'll post an update in December about what it's like to have a judge in court say my name is now Katherine. 

[spacecase0]

I lived in and around SF for 15 years,
SF is great for accepting whatever you are or any way you want to dress, you usually will not even get odd looks.
the east bay is not so quite as accepting, so don't move to oakland for cheaper rent and expect the same level of acceptance (but it is not that bad either)

[kathyk]

Yea, I agree about the Oakland thing.  But it is a changing city with a growing lgbt population, and my old trans group is in the Oakland Kaiser Hospital building, so maybe good things are in the wind.  Unfortunately this ugly incident happened on a bus in Oakland last Monday. http://www.contracostatimes.com/news/ci_24466900/support-pours-man-lit-fire-aboard-ac-transit

[spacecase0]

all kinds of bad things happen in oakland, it is a high crime rate city,
but some areas are better than others within it,
I remember 2 of my friends calling all broken up, 5 people were shot and killed right out front of where they lived (like 20 foot away), 60 or so shell casings were found, and the people on the winning side of the tiny war were never found.
my friends just went flat on the floor and were not hit

here is a fantastic map to tell you where to move to and where not to walk through
http://gismaps.oaklandnet.com/crimewatch/default.asp

and here is the rest of the crime statistics
http://www2.oaklandnet.com/Government/o/OPD/s/Statistics/index.htm
at least the city of oakland lets you have all the data you need to plan for your safety, unlike most cities that hide it all.

[Eva Marie]

It's awesome Kathy that you live in the SF bay area and that you get 100% acceptance of who you are. And it's very pretty up there too I've always liked the bay area but I can't afford to live there 

I moved to a suburb outside of LA about a year ago for a job, found a great therapist, worked through my situation, accepted that I am in fact transsexual and not bigender or androgyne, and just yesterday I was chatting with my therapist about when I might want to change my name and begin living full time. No one has said or done anything nasty the times i've been out and about as my female self; everyone has been pretty accepting. And then we have the state laws that help to protect us too.

Of course there are downsides to living here just like any other state has, but it's still much, much better here for me than the state that i just came from.

[Paulagirl]

What a wonderful upbeat post. Thank you.
I too live in a place where being trans, gay, or just plain weird is not a sin. I can't even imagine being in a place that I was afraid, ostracized, or felt my personal liberty jeopardized.
I look forward to your update.

[kathyk]

It's awesome Kathy that you live in the SF bay area and that you get 100% acceptance of who you are. And it's very pretty up there too I've always liked the bay area but I can't afford to live there 

It's not 100%, but the few people who dislike me don't make a big deal of it.  And I'm an old lady so I don't really threaten anyone.

I too live in a place where being trans, gay, or just plain weird is not a sin. I can't even imagine being in a place that I was afraid, ostracized, or felt my personal liberty jeopardized.

Spent a lot of time in Nothern Michigan and went full time up there in June. The bigotry wasn't threatening, but it was at times vocal or made clear by the way some people isolated or bared me from activities.  I was part time here from February through half of may, and there are so many things I want to do now in SF.  Too bad my house is forty miles away and plans need to fit into everything else I'm doing. 

Well, I have work to do.  I'll get back later.

[Michelle G]

I just love SF for that!

I really wish there was a way to have my business in The City! I've thought of changing my art style for one more appealing to permits and such and still make enough to live there.

I do love that we can just be ourselves without barely raising an eyebrow from the general public

[kathyk]

....
I really wish there was a way to have my business in The City! I've thought of changing my art style for one more appealing to permits and such and still make enough to live there.
....

It's been 30 years since I worked there, but I have a son who works near Polk and Fell a block from Civic Center.  He's always liked the City, but now understands why I liked my few years working there. Too bad it's so expensive to live in SF and get a place to run a business.

Don't know when I'm heading back to Michigan, and it all depends on my health and when JoAnn wants me to leave.  But I'll send a note before I go to Tahoe so we can do coffee or lunch.

[Michelle G]

That would be nice Kathy

My daughter and her bf just left The City, they were paying 3,500 a month for a single family home with garage two blocks from GG park in inner Richmond...yikes!

They are down in Chile now working at a fancy restaurant at a winery, the pics look amazing!