Before it's too late

[louise000]

Now about to turn 60 I am a late starter, having thought for most of my life so far that my secret wish to be female was a form of mental disorder that I had to keep under control. For some reason over the last few years the desire became almost an obsession, as if something inside was calling "help, do something before it's too late".
So after much procrastination I sought professional advice and on asking "Am I transgendered?" the counsellor looked me straight in the eye and said "You know you are". That kind of made it official.
At present I am struggling with several issues, not least having come out to my better half after over 20 years of marriage. She was shocked but has turned out to be supportive, to a degree at least. She is nine years younger than me and has just said she doesn't mind me dressing if it helps, although I have told her that it's not just about clothes and is not any kind of sexual fetish. She wants me to be happy and even offered to raise the money for me to go and live far away and start a new life. But I love her as I always have and I know she loves me and I want us to stay together. She is really worried about other people finding out about me.
I am taking things slowly, but I have a sort of agenda to try and improve things for myself.  I've been working on voice correction using instructional CDs and a tape recorder (something which I am really enjoying doing because I know I'm making progress) and I next want to get my facial hair removed ( I hate saying "beard" - really hate that word). I've been trying with a semi-professional scanning laser unit, but it's difficult to see any progress.
So I want to get electrolysis. I don't actually look my age (other peoples' assessment!) and getting rid of that disgusting stubble would be great for my appearance. It would be very helpful to me if someone could recommend me a salon in the area between London and the South Coast of England that would do this for me without making me feel embarrassed, somewhere "tg friendly" if you like.
I know I could just pick up the phone and ring round, but it would be nice to go to a salon that someone else on here has been to. Please help me if you can.
I'd love to be able to go on hormones, but for two reasons it's unlikely to be sanctioned - firstly I have a heart condition requiring blood thinners and secondly my age. Doctors don't even like prescribing HRT for genetic women over 60, so I would say I've probably got no chance. Anti-androgens might be possible however, and I would be interested to hear if anyone is on anti-androgens only.
Finally, I would like to thank Susan and her team for this amazing resource and all the lovely people who post on here - it's the best thing that's happened to me for ages!!
Louise
P.S. Sorry for the long post, hope it hasn't sent you all to sleep!!!

[melissa90299]

Hmmm, I firmly believe that HRT has made me healthier, my body was craving it and being poisoned by T, I am in better shape now than I have been in the last forty years.

Don't give up the hope.

[Steph]

First off Louise you never, ever have to be sorry for the length of a post.  Yes you could certainly have brief and too the point such as:

Hi, later starter here, 60 year old looking for support, wife is supportive, just starting electro, just need help

but it just doesn't have the human touch, it lacks emotion, the caring and hope that your post conveys, so ya, write away.

While transition does get harder as we get older there is enough older members here who are going through what you are experiencing now and there are many, many who have transitioned.  HRT is NOT the be all and end all, it DOES NOT make you a woman, it forms part of the treatment, along with surgeries for those who are medically able to go through with them, so don't get hung up on that.  We have many members from the UK and I'm sure that one of them may be able to guide you in the right direction.  In the mean time you may want to look for a local GLBT support group who may be able to advise on a salon and/or google electrolysis in there area you are interested in and give them a ring, you have nothing to loose.

Chat later

Steph

[louise000]

Hi Steph, Thank you for your encouragement. One big  problem I need to address is that I'm so new to this lifestyle and I'm still so timid and frightened of meeting with others face to face. Maybe joining a group would be good for me once I got over the initial shyness and embarrassment. Also my spouse is so scared of local people and relations finding out about me that I might have to travel to a neighbouring county!
Best wishes, Louise

[Steph]

Hi Steph, Thank you for your encouragement. One big  problem I need to address is that I'm so new to this lifestyle and I'm still so timid and frightened of meeting with others face to face. Maybe joining a group would be good for me once I got over the initial shyness and embarrassment. Also my spouse is so scared of local people and relations finding out about me that I might have to travel to a neighbouring county!
Best wishes, Louise

Firstly I don't share the view that being TS is a lifestyle as we didn't choose to be this way, after all who the heck would choose this.   These truly are all very valid fears, fears which we all have experienced or who are, like you, experiencing.  You have already made a great first step in coming here to Susan's where you can interact in relative safety.  I think a next step would be to find a local LGBT support group that may be able to provide local support, maybe your councilor will be able to help.

Just a thought.

Steph

[melissa90299]

Hi Steph, Thank you for your encouragement. One big  problem I need to address is that I'm so new to this lifestyle and I'm still so timid and frightened of meeting with others face to face. Maybe joining a group would be good for me once I got over the initial shyness and embarrassment. Also my spouse is so scared of local people and relations finding out about me that I might have to travel to a neighbouring county!
Best wishes, Louise

You are welcome to e-mail me privately, I can speak more freely about my path

twinpeaksnikki@yahoo.com

[louise000]

Firstly I don't share the view that being TS is a lifestyle as we didn't choose to be this way, after all who the heck would choose this.  
Steph

Maybe "lifestyle" was a bad choice of words on my part as I was struggling to express myself. Maybe I should have said "I'm new to interacting with others who are like me".
Thanks, Louise.

[Sandi]

Louise,

Of course it is better to start young, but don't fret about starting late. Some happy years living your true gender beats discarding it all. I'm 66 now and wouldn't acknowledge my real inner person until around 9 years ago (yes I have been around here since 1998). I've been on HRT since about 2000, with nearly a B cup, however I still get a soreness a couple times a year, so apparently I'm not done yet. Possibly because the doctors have me go off HRT for 2-3 months occasionally because of an electrolyte imbalance. Even though soreness and growth seemed to have stoped before I go off, every time I go back on HRT again I get another spurt for a few more months.

In 2002 I had quadruple by-pass surgery but no damage to my heart. Still it is enough to make most surgeons balk at SRS, and besides I had to take an early retirement at the time, so my income has been limited since, and puts surgery in the improbable category. I only relay this information to say that there is still no going back for me. I will enjoy my life to the fullest as it is given to me without dwelling on the negatives, the could have beens, and the setbacks.

Your SO's worry of the reaction of other people is normal, but most of the time it turns out to be a less significant a problem than what the mind blows it up to be. Some of my neighbors know that I'm TS because they were neighbors before I started transition. Others don't know, or don't let on if they do, but all are courteous and friendly.

[Buffy]

Hi Louise,

Yeah, its never to late to find ones happiness in life.

As for some of the requests you posted in your original post, Look at the following UK sites (which can be found on the internet), you are more likely going to get a better response, some are Yahoo based Group support sites.

TranssexualUK, TranssexualUK-Hormones, Nuttycats, Press for Change... all those have many great links and details regarding help and links to UK based therapy, electrolysis etc.

I once belonged to all the above, but time moves on. If you want any further information, please PM me, I have a lot of experience of all the above and also of the current legal situation in UK (and Europe).

I am English, but no longer live in the Country of my Birth.

Buffy