Did your doctors and therapists ever ask if you wanted SRS?

[Jaime R D]

The reason I asked this is mostly that my "main" gender therapist (she was by no means the first, but she was the first who didn't feel that being trans made one a danger to oneself and/or others - the whole "mutilation" BS) and my first endo asked me about my plans for SRS at length, even years before I was FT or prescribed any HRT. Though they never directly said it, it be came apparent from the preponderance of evidence that they felt wanting to have SRS was somehow important for getting HRT and social transition.

After the point that I had started HRT, however, they simply assumed that I did (and, I believe, that anyone who got that far automatically wanted SRS, too.)

If its who I think it is, she always told me that if they didn't want it then, they would likely want it later after fulltime. While I do want it eventually, I'm going to make sure its what I absolutely want and need, but currently, its not that really big of a deal for me and I don't want to sell my house to be able to afford it.

[Agent_J]

While I do want it eventually, I'm going to make sure its what I absolutely want and need, but currently, its not that really big of a deal for me and I don't want to sell my house to be able to afford it.

At one point I had a plan to finance SRS via loans against my 401(k) and I was honest about that to my therapist. She expressed strong opposition to that, wanting me to wait until I had saved the cash to do so.

[aleon515]

I was never asked. But if I brought it up we'd discuss it. I am not sure I much care for a question like this but I guess I don't trust it. I wonder if it's a trick question like "are you serious enough?" or something. But if it were asked the right way... I guess that's okay. What's the right way? I would know if I saw it I suppose.

--Jay

[Agent_J]

I'm completely with you there. The constant "inquisition" made me really feel that I had to be careful what I chose to discuss lest I find my path to transition closed.

It was the very reason I never talked with them about the true depth of my depression. I did initially, but when they insisted that sharply reducing my Estradiol dose could not possibly have any impact on that but made it clear that if they feelings persisted they would take away my HRT completely and advocate that I detransition...well, I knew that path would have lead to me acting on the suicide ideation I was experiencing rather than finding a way out of that pit (which I ultimately did, thanks to other therapists and doctors.)

[Allyda]

I'm completely with you there. The constant "inquisition" made me really feel that I had to be careful what I chose to discuss lest I find my path to transition closed.

It was the very reason I never talked with them about the true depth of my depression. I did initially, but when they insisted that sharply reducing my Estradiol dose could not possibly have any impact on that but made it clear that if they feelings persisted they would take away my HRT completely and advocate that I detransition...well, I knew that path would have lead to me acting on the suicide ideation I was experiencing rather than finding a way out of that pit (which I ultimately did, thanks to other therapists and doctors.)

Oh my gosh how horrible!^^___^^ I certainly hope you've found better Doctors than these people threatening you with detransition.

Ally

[Agent_J]

I have found both better doctors and therapists, thank you.

Also, I do want to say that I sympathize with the confusion about my experience when I talk about things that are the domain of therapists but am discussing doctors. That's just what mine did; often, the HRT letter and the evaluation of my situation by my therapist meant less than the doctors' judgement of my own psychological situation (which is a serious issue as they were far beyond their remit.)