So, I'm a crossdresser...

[Michelleisadude]

Hey everyone, my first post.

So, since, I was a kid, I've been painting my nails, wearing womens clothing (mostly intimates and shoes) and kept it up on the DL throughout my life, buying nylons or stockings or lace panties for myself, wearing women's socks but never anything that would outwardly identify myself as a crossdresser. Never occurred to me that I was a crossdresser, just thought I did it for a thrill. I did get off on it but I also noticed that I felt very comfortable in what I wore.

Now, I don't know exactly what happened but I came out to myself as a crossdresser and I'm cool with it. I wear ladies' clothing and I don't care who knows or sees. Of course, I've yet to wear anything more than my wife's pants, shirts and whatever stockings I buy. Thing is about my wife and I; we're essentially the same body shape so I don't have any trouble fitting into most anything she has except bras, I'm not a 38DD and since I don't have breasts, I don't think a bra is right for me at least until I get some breast forms.

I came out to my facebook friends and they all seem cool with it as well. I haven't had anyone unfriend me because of it. I've been going hog-wild looking for crossdressing pages, plus-size ladies' clothing pages and whatever else fits like nail polish and makeup and whatnot.

My wife's still kinda iffy about the whole thing. She won't let me wear her sweaters and doesn't want to talk about it for a while. She's had her plate pretty full with her mom and dad being independently sick and in the hospital, the holidays and now me coming out...a bit much to take all at once. She's kinda warming up to it with me wanting to do my nails and looking through Lane Bryant's and Kohls' sites. I'll ask her advice once in a while to ask if what I'm looking at would suit me well.

So, I'm not sure about anything. Since I'm new to dressin like a woman, I don't know what colors would work well with an ensemble, what my makeup colors should be or even how to properly do my nails. I'm getting better at that. I buffed and shined them and applied clear polish. They looked really nice!

I've also found that since I came out at least to myself about being a crossdresser, I'm more loving and affectionate towards my wife. Giving her compliments, trying to get her to feel beautiful and lady like and loved and cherished and desirable. She is kind of a plain jane so it's my hope that we can take an interest in nice clothes together. Not to say that I'll always be dressing up as a woman. In fact, 95% of the time, I'll dress mannish maybe with a women's component here or there but for the most part, I'll be wearing jeans and a t-shirt. When the mood strikes me, I'll go full-on drag but I'll always have nice skin and have my nails all done nice and polished.

I've read that for most crossdressers, there's not any sexual arousal component to it. I have noticed a certain amount of arousal when I'm making myself up or getting dressed. Is that normal? Maybe with more and more exposure to what I feel is taboo and me breaking society's rules, it won't happen as much.

I'm still up in the air with regards to face shaving. I think I might need to get a safety razor or something for the closest shave I can get. Even when I get really close, there's still some stubble left on my neck that I just can't seem to get. And I just shaved one of my legs today to see what it's like. I'll do the other tonight or tomorrow or when I'm home alone and I can take my time.

I might need to bet my chest and belly waxed if I'm going to be wearing anything low-cut. Having such a hairy chest would kind of ruin the experience and, at least to me, part of the total experience is convincing others out in public that I am a woman and they'd have to look really close to determine one way or the other. That reminds me, I need to get a gaff if I'm going to go out in public.

Thanks for reading and sorry for being so long-winded. I know it's a lot but I look forward to reading all your words of wisdom!

Michelle (aka Mike)

[Katy]

Welcome, Michelle, 

You will find lots of resources here and in particular friends that will be able to offer good advice on any aspect of crossdressing.  Since I am also a newbie here and to a certain extent to crossdressing, I won't pretend to be the oracle on any subject.  However, from reading the comments of others, I would suggest one thing.  Go slow with your wife.  Bring her into the CD world slowly and patiently.  CDing is more like a marathon than a sprint.

Regarding the sexual arousal element, I can't speak for others (and I have read the same comments from many sources you mentioned), crossdressing does have sexual thrill for me. 

Enjoy!

[Jessica Merriman]

First, I am so glad you accept yourself and have some support. That is so great! Try Suddenly Fem. They supply women's clothes specially altered for males. They fit great. The only thing I can see as far as problems is this, I would slow down just a little with the wife. Like you said, she has a lot on her plate and could be overwhelmed by everything. When I first made the decision to transition it was like the Indy 500. I wanted everything at once and to make up for lost time. That attitude soured some people on me because I was euphoric and in the zone. After some therapy sessions I saw the need to slow a little and let those around me sort of catch up to the idea of my rather major life change. I do so understand the excitement and discovery phase, but this will be a shock for many who know you, or not. I am glad you recognize who and what you are. It is so freeing and honest. Try magazines for todays colors, fabrics and style and if you are up to it department stores will often give make overs for a small charge or free if you buy cosmetics from them. Might be a good couples activity after she gets more comfortable with your dressing. Feel free to PM if you ever need anything. Good luck! 

[Louise]

I would second the recommendation to go slow for the sake of your wife, particularly if she has other things stressing her.  You should consider buying some clothes just for yourself, although it would be good to offer to share them with your wife.  She needs to have some things for herself.  I came out to my wife about fifteen years ago, after we had been married for about thirty years.  Before I came out my crossdressing was in secret; I used to wear some of my wife's things when I was home alone.  That was not very satisfactory, in part because we are not at all the same size (I wear Misses large and she wears Petites small), but mostly because of the secrecy involved.  We sometimes go shopping together; I have very good taste in ladies' clothing and always helped my wife buy clothes.  When we shop together we each get something and we help one another pick things out.  If my wife thinks that something I have my eye on would be too floozy looking, I respect her judgment.  We recently went shopping to get some sweaters at after Christmas bargain prices.