How could I cope with this feeling until I can transition/do something about it?

[FTMDiaries]

go to that group if you can and see if it is interesting for you, keep seeing that counsellor regularly and get advice from him, maybe also on how to manage to get into proper gender therapy with your parents being opposed to it. Tell him your parents are opposed to it and that this is a challenge.

This, but I also wanted to point out one more thing.

The counsellor told you that there are two other trans* kids at school, but you have no idea who they are. Do you see what this means? The counsellor knows about those kids but the rest of the school has no clue that they're there. To me, this suggests that you can trust the counsellor to keep your information private, and if he recommends this LGBT group at school it is probably a safe space for you... because clearly nobody has tattle-taled about the existing members.

[Silvermist]

Now, just wondering...what do you do in an LGBT group? (Or any group of that sort) The counselor was asking me if I wanted to join the LGBT group at my school, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to because of bullying I just get this feeling that some immature kid will go yelling to their friends, "OMG [my name] IS TRANS HE IS SUCH A WEIRDO." Maybe I'm just being more cautious because I was bullied a lot at my old school for reasons besides being trans (I didn't even know about transgenders then) and I don't want to feel that depressed and sad again. I don't know 
Should I join? Or no? And what do you do in LGBT meeting/gatherings? (Just out of curiosity)

Congratulations! I am so happy for you that you have someone who will listen and that you aren't alone. I don't know about LGBT groups at schools, but I can say that, based on my experience with PFLAG (a national nonprofit organization whose activities primarily consist of arranging support groups for LGBT people and their loved ones), the people who are in charge of such groups understand how sensitive the issue is, so they all make confidentiality the top priority. Yes, it might be a risk, but don't you suppose that the benefits would be more than worthwhile? After all, you came here to this site because you felt like you had nowhere else to turn; trust me, having people supporting you face-to-face is much more powerful than what a bunch of distant, anonymous strangers behind computer screens can accomplish.

[lavini557]

I decided that I should go to the school's LGBT group. I asked my counselor about it, and he's says it's on Mondays. Doesn't conflict with the rest of my schedule I will see how the meetings are and go from there.
You guys have tips for depression for the time being? I zone out way too much these days...

[lavini557]

bump

[lavini557]

So I went to the school LBGT group meeting today. It was...okay, I guess. There wasn't anyone I really knew, and they didn't really do anything where people participate and discuss topics or something like that. It seems to be led by student officers instead of teachers. Today, the officer did a presentation about transgender people because Wednesday is Transgender Day of Remembrance (or something like that) apparently. They did mention that there is a type of gathering thing for that on Wednesday in my area (it's for free), but it sucks that I can't go (obviously, my parents would be completely against it). I did see a transgender kid in the group (I think he's a FtM from what I heard in conversation with him and others), which was nice. I didn't get to talk to him though, probably because I was shy and I wasn't really sure what to ask anyway. I felt kind of disconnected from the rest of the people in the group, but I think it's because it's my first time there. Maybe if I go there more and get more involved I can get to know them better and socialize with them.

And also, just a really persistent question I have these days...when should I open back up to my parents again? I was thinking maybe after I get a few friends to understand, but I still don't know. She is most likely not going to really listen to anyone that is not Korean (I just have a feeling that she won't listen to non-Koreans because she thinks "Oh they think differently than I do so they don't understand how I think so I should not listen to them at all" or something like that.) However, I am not sure if she will understand even if they are Korean, because if they're my friend, she might think they are too immature and just take everything I say at face value, don't research on it, and that they are talking to her with lack of facts and reasoning. A Korean adult might work best, but the only Korean adults I know are in my church, and...well, I don't think I need to elaborate about what will happen after I explained how my pastor responded to me opening up to him.

*sigh* I don't know what to do...feel so depressed. I can't focus and I don't even like taking showers that much anymore (but I still have to because I take taekwondo and if I don't shower my sweat will get on my bed and I will stink. Also, my mom doesn't like smelly and sweaty beds, which is understandable)

[lavini557]

bump...no replies in a while...

[lavini557]

bump...what is going on?  Why are there no responses? I'm assuming it's because people are busy but...