From ->-bleeped-<- to transgender or genderqueer

[Sacha]

Sacha, I didn't mean to come down on you, but I was just stating some things. But it is interesting though on how much your life reflects my life. Due to circumstances I have been unemployed for the past 3 years, I spend most of my time in front of the computer. I'm a grade 12 graduate. Never been suicidal. Was a virgin till I was 20 and I never had a girlfriend till I was 22, and for most of my life I've lived with my parents.

How old are you ?

[Sacha]

It certainly sounds that way.  I definitely recommend you get in touch with a gender therapist (as earlier posters and myself have said).  If they agree with you (which is quite likely), they can help move the process along and get you a referral to an endocrinologist (a doctor who deals with hormones).

They can also give a lot of practical help and support throughout your transition.

*hug*

Good luck!

I will see a psychiatrist who is also psychoanalyst and psychologist. He is not transphobic and thinks that transidentity should not be seen as a mental illness and so not under the control of psychiatry.

I have noticed a double trend in the last time  =

The more I accepted I was trans something (gender or sexual), the more I was interested in kissing and dating a man. I can even be turn on by pics of hairy very masculine men and have an erection without touching my sex.

The more I admit I sexually love men and only men, the more I feel feminine and think I am trans.

Normally as a man with woman I can only have sex if I feel in love or at least connected. But intercourse is rather boring if not depressing. And as a woman with a man I only wanted sex.

So in man mode I was like a woman wanting feelings and in woman mode I was like a man wanting only sex. Love with women, sex with men. Rather strange.

But as I have no chance to enjoy sex with a woman like I enjoy it with a man because I can not feel really feminine with a woman, I think I have more chance to find sex and love in the same time with a man. I have tried with several women and sex was always rapidly boring.

I could probably love a man who treats me like a woman and allows me to be myself in bed and out of bed.

Currently I am looking for a man online but as a trans not really trans it is not easy. Many people just want rapid sex or worse virtual sex.

What will I become ?

[Inazuma]

Thanks for idea.

I did not catch that women used flat iron to make the hair slick. I tend to idealize women...

Do you have an iron to suggest ?

And hairdo I could do by myself ?

Hi Sasha,

I really didn't wanted to offend you, that wasn't my point at all...
The biggest problem with died hair is that they split on ends.
So even if it's hearth breaking, you need to cut the ends more often.
Some colors are harder then others also, so inform you well befor putting some Pharmacy Colors.

I can't suggest a good Iron... I can range from 30 euros to 200 euros..
I can suggest thought that if you want to invest a little, find one with ceramic plates, it's much better that metal.

I am myself also jealous of nice soft hair.. but you know.. I think that part of it comes with HRT.. and the other part with the way you dry them.

As for Haircuts... well ..It's hard to tell just like that.
The most important is that you feel great with it.
Though, I know this is a question of money...
But Maybe if you go once in a hairdresser/stylist and explain him/her that you want a nice hair cut that would help feminize your face, they could probably help you. ... (if it's a good artist   )
Somethimes we tend to make ourself one haircut that we like on some people but isn't actually the best for us.

As for dry hair, it's good every once in a while to hydrate them for a long time.
Of course you will find 100 of magic products real and fake on the market..
But there is also a lot of home made recepies you can make yourself.
the simplest one I find is Olive oil.
Just a little of it, and you brush your Hair. then leave it for an hour befor you wash your hair.

And sorry again if you felt offended... that was really not my intention as more to give honest tips to get on Top !


P.S. moi aussi je suis Francophone.. mais je préfère t'écrire en Anglais pour partager l'info avec les autres.
xx

[Gina Taylor]

How old are you ?

C'mon Sacha, that's a question that a gentlemen wouldn't ask a lady.

[JLT1]

Sacha,

You sound a lot like a trans girl friend of mine.  Very much like her.  She started out with the same questions and similar issues.  She started with men and over the next 8 years, ended up having SRS and now lives as a woman.  She is doing very well.

I don't know where your journey will lead.  I believe it's time for you to get started on it.  Get with a psychologist who knows transgender issues and speak to her as you have spoken to us: openly and honestly. We will be here to help as well.

Hugs,

Jen

[Sacha]

C'mon Sacha, that's a question that a gentlemen wouldn't ask a lady.

I am not and you are not so...

[Sacha]

Hi Sasha,

I really didn't wanted to offend you, that wasn't my point at all...
The biggest problem with died hair is that they split on ends.
So even if it's hearth breaking, you need to cut the ends more often.
Some colors are harder then others also, so inform you well befor putting some Pharmacy Colors.

I can't suggest a good Iron... I can range from 30 euros to 200 euros..
I can suggest thought that if you want to invest a little, find one with ceramic plates, it's much better that metal.

I am myself also jealous of nice soft hair.. but you know.. I think that part of it comes with HRT.. and the other part with the way you dry them.

As for Haircuts... well ..It's hard to tell just like that.
The most important is that you feel great with it.
Though, I know this is a question of money...
But Maybe if you go once in a hairdresser/stylist and explain him/her that you want a nice hair cut that would help feminize your face, they could probably help you. ... (if it's a good artist   )
Somethimes we tend to make ourself one haircut that we like on some people but isn't actually the best for us.

As for dry hair, it's good every once in a while to hydrate them for a long time.
Of course you will find 100 of magic products real and fake on the market..
But there is also a lot of home made recepies you can make yourself.
the simplest one I find is Olive oil.
Just a little of it, and you brush your Hair. then leave it for an hour befor you wash your hair.

And sorry again if you felt offended... that was really not my intention as more to give honest tips to get on Top !


P.S. moi aussi je suis Francophone.. mais je préfère t'écrire en Anglais pour partager l'info avec les autres.
xx

Thanks for the tips. My hair is rather greasy so the very light die should not be a trouble. I already put a mask of olive oil/honey/lemon a few months ago. Would it work on the die ?

I will pass on the iron as I read online it was damaging hair.

You are from Quebec ?

I did not feel offended. I know that long hair (even when good quality) does not mean nice hair if the cut is not good. I have too much volume on sides and not enough on top. So it looks weird, too natural. May be combing will help...as I do not really comb but just go out of bed.

But I need to figure out what to do with my hair, cut shorter or not.

[Sacha]

Sacha,

You sound a lot like a trans girl friend of mine.  Very much like her.  She started out with the same questions and similar issues.  She started with men and over the next 8 years, ended up having SRS and now lives as a woman.  She is doing very well.

I don't know where your journey will lead.  I believe it's time for you to get started on it.  Get with a psychologist who knows transgender issues and speak to her as you have spoken to us: openly and honestly. We will be here to help as well.

Hugs,

Jen

I will see the therapist today. I will record the conversation with my smartphone so I could tell you what he told me and be able to hear it again if needed.

[Sacha]

I saw the therapist, I asked him his opinion about my story, he replied "passionating"

And gave me another rdv.

Though he did not know about  ->-bleeped-<- and Blanchard. Worrying.

[Gina Taylor]

I am not and you are not so...

C'mon Sacha,

I'm more of a lady than you'll ever be.

Just calling a spade a spade . . . and it takes one to know one . . .

[Sacha]

C'mon Sacha,

I'm more of a lady than you'll ever be.

Just calling a spade a spade . . . and it takes one to know one . . .

I am not a lady either. I am trans something. May be at 75 I will think I am a lady.

[Gina Taylor]

I am not a lady either. I am trans something. May be at 75 I will think I am a lady.

Looks like I've got you beat! And it also looks like I won't have to wait that long . . .

The word lady is a polite term for a woman, specifically the female equivalent to a  gentleman, and in many contexts a term for any adult woman. Once relating specifically to women of high social class or status, over the last 300 years it has spread to embrace all adult women, though in some contexts may still be used to evoke a concept of "lady-like" standards of behaviour.

[Sacha]

Looks like I've got you beat! And it also looks like I won't have to wait that long . . .

The word lady is a polite term for a woman, specifically the female equivalent to a  gentleman, and in many contexts a term for any adult woman. Once relating specifically to women of high social class or status, over the last 300 years it has spread to embrace all adult women, though in some contexts may still be used to evoke a concept of "lady-like" standards of behaviour.

I am not a woman but transgender. So between man and woman. A mix. I am not of high class as my parents are working class and I have almost never worked myself. And I HATE to behave standard. I am a rebel.

Conclusion = I am neither a gentleman nor a lady.

May be at 75 I will be a lady though as I can change, marry Bill Gates and become a perfect housewife.

[Gina Taylor]

I am not a woman but transgender. So between man and woman. A mix. I am not of high class as my parents are working class and I have almost never worked myself. And I HATE to behave standard. I am a rebel.

Conclusion = I am neither a gentleman nor a lady.

May be at 75 I will be a lady though as I can change, marry Bill Gates and become a perfect housewife.