Before HRT I suffered from an almost constant depression that got clearly worse during the dark half of the year, and the depression kept all actual emotions away. But now when the depression is gone I finally have my emotions back again. Of course, that also means that the deepened depression I used to feel instead had turned into sadness. And since I take my hormones every 7 hours, there's a 9 hour gap over night, which is enough for me to wake up crying most days.
A couple of months ago I felt good all day, even when I was taking all of my hormones once every 24 hours, so it really seems like the darkness makes things worse.
During the first hour after waking up, my mind can really find strange paths to the worst thoughts it can find.
Friend posts baby photo on Facebook -> awww, babieeeeees -> I don't have a baby -> I'll never be able to have a baby -> I'll never find a girlfriend -> I'm gonna die alone -> an hour of crying.
Perfectly logical train of thought
