Stress About New Job

[KamTheMan]

So I'm stoked because I just got hired working on the mountain this winter. I'm excited to finally be making money again and to be getting out of the house, plus I get to snowboard every day. I've worked at the resort before, 4 years ago. It was after I'd come out as being into girls to friends and family but I presented as a straight girl all winter. I'm working for a different restaurant this season, and the manager is this older lesbian so I know she's cool for the most part. I'm just worried about how to go about things. I've been binding consistently for over two years now, I haven't used a women's restroom in I don't even know how long. When I worked on the mountain before the girls all changed in this room in the back of the women's restroom and we all left our stuff there. But I know I just can't do that. I'm not sure if the changing situation is the same or not. I don't know how to go about telling my boss I don't feel comfortable using to women's restroom. When we greeted each other before my interview I told her I go by a shortened version of my birth name that sounds male. I don't think there will be any issue getting that on my name tag. I'm concerned with co-workers, though. I've gained some weight and don't look as good and angled as I can so I don't know how I'm going to be perceived by my co-workers. I don't want it to be weird with my using the bathroom though. It'd be nice if they had a separate bathroom for staff but I don't know. I really just want to enjoy my winter. Make money, hang out, flirt with girls, hopefully get in shape. Stress really hurts with my head so I'm really nervous. I haven't had a job out and about since long before I started presenting as male. I have no idea how to do this.

[golgothasTerror]

The best thing you can really do is to tell your boss one on one what the deal is. She would be able to tell your coworkers your preferred name and pronouns for you if you like, and ask them to not question you about it. Also, it's easier then you think to work out something with the bathrooms if there isn't a male or gender neutral bathroom available (like come in a few minutes early to change and do your business, or whatever else). Coming out is obviously not easy, but in some cases I think it's necessary.

For all my job interviews, the first thing I want to be sure of is whether or not being myself being trans is going to be an issue, covering my name(name tag), pronouns, and bathrooms, and so far it hasn't been one as far as I know. That is to say, I live in a state where it's illegal to discriminate because of gender identity, it's still something that needs to be talked about so I can be sure my boss and co workers can be as comfortable as I am while in our work environment.

I don't know where you live, so I'm not entirely sure on how stable your job would be if/when you decided to come out, so I would suggest finding that out first before anything. If it's okay, I think what you should do is tell your boss you need to talk and express your concerns directly, because it's the only way you'll be able to get things done in this situation. If not, I would suggest waiting awhile and try to get to know your boss better and to find out if she's okay with that trans community. I would have high hopes because she's gay, and most gay people from my experience are okay with transgender folk, but there are also people part of the LGB side of things that don't accept transpeople, so I suppose keep that in mind.

Regardless, what's important is your comfort while you work; we all have that right. But if it isn't possible at this place, the only thing I could suggest is either quit unless you're in dire need of cash, or keep working there as if nothing is going on.

I hope this helps you out at least a little bit and I wish you luck.

-RJ