The dogs ate my...

[ataraxiamachine]

penis.  Yeah.  Who saw that coming?  Guys, I know I don't really post often, but I can't very well call my mom up for this one.  I think I may be in a little bit of shock.  I just...set it on the back of the toilet to dry while I finished showering.  I didn't even hear one of them come in.  But they obviously had a nice game of tug-of-war  in the dining room while I finished up.  I couldn't even yell.  Just...pointed at the crate and they went running for cover like they knew they were being bad. 

It's funny.  It is.  I can think of a dozen jokes, right off the top of my head.  (There's one.)  But it would be a lot funnier if I weren't on a grad-school budget right now, I can tell you that much.  RIP, little pee-cock.  You'll never know how much you'll be missed by everyone that you touched during your short life in my pants. 

I have a feeling that I'm not going to take this so well at some point.

-Jake

[Natkat]

R.I.P Penis

[Gabrielle]

We need to throw a wake for Jake's dick, if anyone can get up for it.

[Devlyn]

Get your puns in early, there's going to be stiff competition! 

[AlexW]

Well, dogs do have a known love for bones.

No, but seriously, that's just really unlucky.

[Gabrielle]

I wonder if Jake's puppies are wiener dogs?

[ataraxiamachine]

The memorial service will held be at 8 pm tonight, CST.  Stiff drinks all around.  Raise 'em high.  Speeches welcome, but try not to go off half-cocked.  If you've gotta pull out early, just know that I hope you had a ball.

Thanks for keeping me laughing.  Really.  But seriously, what am I supposed to do with this thing?  Bury it?  Flush it down the toilet?  Have it bronzed?  Sit the dogs down and make them finish it, like my mom did that time she caught me smoking in the seventh grade?  Funeral pyre in the fire pit?  The garbage bin just seems like such an anti-climactic ending.  Maybe I just need a little more time. 

[Devlyn]

Were they big dogs? Not that size matters......

[Gabrielle]

The memorial service will held be at 8 pm tonight, CST.  Stiff drinks all around.  Raise 'em high.  Speeches welcome, but try not to go off half-cocked.  If you've gotta pull out early, just know that I hope you had a ball.

Thanks for keeping me laughing.  Really.  But seriously, what am I supposed to do with this thing?  Bury it?  Flush it down the toilet?  Have it bronzed?  Sit the dogs down and make them finish it, like my mom did that time she caught me smoking in the seventh grade?  Funeral pyre in the fire pit?  The garbage bin just seems like such an anti-climactic ending.  Maybe I just need a little more time.

Post a picture and we can size it up.

[Devlyn]

It's all fun and games until someone loses a ......

[aleon515]

Well, you could always erect a monument for it...

Haha no pun intended apparently. LOL

--Jay