I don't know why, but I don't usually cry when people die. It's strange, because I cried inconsolably both times when one of my cats died, but I have never cried at the death of another human being. The first time I ever experienced death, it was when my grandfather on my dad's side died when I was only five years old. It was the first time I ever saw my mother cry, and when I asked her what had happened and she told me, I tried to console her and tell her that he was in a better place.
To be honest, I'm not sure if I believe that anymore. Since becoming an atheist, I don't know what to think about death. I understand what it means to those of us that are left behind when someone dies, but not what it means to the person who died. I take some consolation in the fact that I don't know for certain that death is worse than life, but I really don't know anything about it at all. Sometimes the only thing that keeps me believing that clinging to life is the right thing to do, is my belief that anything is possible if you just live long enough. I refuse to give up as long as there is hope that I can be happier in the future, even if I have to
cheat death to get there.
But, if someone can find neither hope nor happiness in the life that they had to live, we have no right to judge them for what they do. Most of us can barely understand what it means to live, let alone what it means to die. I hope for her sake, that Kaylee didn't lose something precious, but rather that she simply let go of something that was causing her to suffer. I also hope that the people in her life that caused her to suffer deeply regret their actions. And lastly I hope that some day we can all have lives that never give us cause to question whether continuing to live is the right thing to do.
