good and bad news

[Megumi]

Thanks for all the comments and perspectives. We did have a conversation later in the week, that went even worse. It was civil, but ended with me saying no. I'll spend the holidays with the family I created.        She asked me to come to thanksgiving and christmas as Thor, Not Teela,  male cloths, no make up, no doing my hair nice, no female voice (I dont even know how to do my male voice anymore unless im pissed and it comes naturally)      cause they didnt want to explain the 'drama' (her words) to my grandmother and my aunt and uncle.                        my reply, "I know it sucks, I respect your still swallowing all of this, but im Teela now, I buried thor a few days ago, and id like that crave to grow over with ivy and never be visited. Sooner or later grandmother will find out, also she has alzheimers, your gonna have more drama on your hands when you gotta explain to her you had a daughter she never got to meet. But thats on you. As far as uncle boyt. He knows, I told him last christmas I was on HRT. He just kept that fact I told him secret from you outta respect. But again its on you. Your still my mother, I love you, and you have made sure that id grow up and be a good person.   But not being able to be the person I experienced so much emotional and physical trama to be, I will be spending christmas with my family I created, my GF, her father, her daughter, and other close friends I consider family.  Family is where home is, and sorry you arnt creating a place that feels like home, again I love you" and hung up.

High five! What you said was possibly the best way to put it, how can you feel good being forced to be in that kind of environment where you are completely uncomfortable. I wouldn't feel bad one bit to spend the holidays with the family that accepts and cares for me versus one that wants me to be someone that I am not. 

[KelsieJ]

Don't give up hope, Teela. The fact she took you shopping previously means there's a shred of acceptance in there wrapped up in all your mom's denial

She's probably going through a mourning period of sorts - so its best to leave her alone for now. When she's ready, she'll probably come around - the signs are there from how she was with you before. She just needs time to realize that yes, she lost a son - but gained a daughter

*HUGS*
Kelsie

[Gabrielle]

Teela, Thor was never more than a shadow.  You need to be you.  And your family has to accept they have a daughter.

[Ashley Allison]

Ahhhh, I feel so bad hearing about your situation... Just know that whatever happens, you are your own person who lives a life true to themselves If your Mom comes around or not, you are trying to live the life you were meant to live.  What better thing? One can only hope that your Mother will come around.  But if not, just know that you are trying to enjoy every moment on this Earth at the best it was meant to be.

[calico]

Sometimes the person thinks "As long as my son/daughter doesn't do _____, I still have him/her..."

That final straw might be the surgery, might be the name change, might be the gender marker change...whatever it is, it's seen as "OMG, s/he's really doing it!" and the reality of one's transition hits home, hard.

this has a lot of truth to it, I'm sorry you had to experience it the way you have I had a similier situation with my mother but towards a final acceptance and better communication than we ever have had. keep hope she may eventually come around while its probably true she thought it was just a phase, she is now realizing its actually for real. Past this point she can either become more negative and resistant or she will try and learn more about her daughter.  My heart go's out to you and I do hope she eventually comes around

[KatelynRain]

It's hard for many people to accept a transition.  It's a major change and something to get used to.  And sometimes parents try as hard as possible to be supportive, but things like this slip out because it's difficult for them.  But it seems like she's trying.  I am extremely confident that she will come around and unequivocally accept you as her child.