slowly moving towards full time

[evecrook]

I've made the decision  to go full time eventually. It's pretty hard thing to start doing. I'm starting very slowly. I have  been going out to the store and coffee place's  with my bra and nail polish. Yesterday I went to my therapist with eyebrow pencil and touch of powder. Next week it's  full make up for my therapy session. Its really scary for me because I know a lot of people around the neighborhood. They don't know yet that I'm transitioning. Today I came in to a coffee place with make up and nail polish, the cashier was really nice to me. It made all my anxiety go away. Last night I was surprised too because I went to a cvs that I go to all the time and the people didn't seemed surprised a all. I know the best way to do it would be just to do it. But it's a challenge for me.  I tried getting out of my apt. door this morning with full make up ,but chickened out  I left the lashes behind and thinned out the make up. I feel a lot better about doing it. I'm going to start going to my therapy apt. in a nice skirt   hopefully sooner than latter. My therapist is very supportive of me.

[sarahb]

Just go as fast as you need to go. There's no hurry Take each new leap thinking about these successes you've had so far and you'll build up your confidence more and more.

Also, congrats on taking the leap to make a decision to go full time! It's definitely a hard decision to make, but now that you've made it you can go full steam ahead from now on.

[Jill F]

It gets easier every time.

I went from too nervous to go out my front door to take out the trash in January to almost full time in March, decided to make it permanent and came out to the world in April.  Admittedly I had antianxiety and antidepressants working for me at first, but I'm off of those now.

The first couple of times I left the house I just drove around town and I don't think I ever got out of the car.  Then I went to therapy a couple of times fully dressed as my therapist had double-dog dared me to do.  Then I spent a weekend in San Diego in girl mode  and got clocked bigtime by a real a*hole who was drunk and umm, quite vocal.  I survived and worked on acting less nervous.  I then started going out to dinner locally fully dressed and running errands in andro mode during the day.  I kept going out more and more femme.  By this time the lasers had done enough that there was no beard shadow and E was softening things up.  So a month after San Diego, I went to Las Vegas for a weekend and left the guy clothes at home.  Apparently I was passing pretty well at this time, had a great time being treated like any other woman and decided that I'd make it permanent.  Since the growing breasts were about to out me anyway, I just stopped wearing guy clothes and did all of my business in girl mode from then on.

Confidence will snowball with only subtle physical changes and fewer double-takes.  I still have to sport some bust enhancement to make it all work, but ditching the male facade this early in transition was worth it. 

[evecrook]

thanks much for the support. I truly appreciate it.