Sex, lubrication, dryness and methods.

[boddi]

Hi.  Could anyone advise on what to do re: dryness?  Penile Inversion in 2011.  Not had sex yet but had 2 'waking-dream' orgasms!  Very powerful.  Did not notice much, if any,moistness.  I have been chronically depressed since SRS so have not had much libido.  I do not generally 'play' with myself.  Will these 2 years near abstinence have hindered my 'wetness development'?   Do oestrogen creams really work in us, seeing as we have no oestrogen receptors, unlike natal women?

   Thinking ahead (I have no libido currently) If I were to have sex with a man, could I ''pre-lube'' somehow? Maybe with an applicator?  I'd hate to kill the moment by 'lubing up'.  I hate being so dry.   What are people's experiences please?  Advice?  Things to do/avoid?  I know there is a KY long lasting.  What if he wanted to go down on me - would he taste the artificial lube!?   I hear, anecdotally, that Vitamin E Suppositories can be placed in the vagina before coitus.  This helps - at least natal women - to have a good source of lubrication during sex, and effectively 'pre-lubes' them.  I wonder if this would also taste unnatural though, to any man performing oral?  And again, would it work on us with our lack of oestrogen receptors?   ALL advice on dryness/lubrication GREATLY appreciated

[Jenna Marie]

I'm moderately self-lubricating during sex (and enough to leave a bit of a spot afterwards, especially if I orgasm), but early on my GP suggested Vagisil lubricant for dilation because things seemed rather dry in there on a day to day basis. He says that's what he recommends to menopausal cis women, as well, and many of them now swear by it.  It's supposed to be the closest to the naturally produced lubrication. As for taste, I honestly have no clue, but I'd assume that can be answered by, well, tasting whatever lube you settle on?

I'm also not sure what you  mean by "no estrogen receptors"; trans women whose bodies responded to estrogen *do* have them, pretty much by definition (no receptors = no response). Do you mean specifically vaginally? The localized vaginal creams aren't being used there precisely because of estrogen receptors, but because the tissue is thin and moist and absorbs them well and they're designed to mostly stay in the skin at that location. I would think all of that is true for a created vagina as well. Bear in mind, though, that not ALL of the estrogen in the cream stays localized - it will affect the amount of E in your bloodstream to some degree, and may require a dosage adjustment to your HRT.

I used an applicator with lube for the first few months of dilation, and it worked pretty well. No reason the same can't be true of sex, I'd imagine.

[Vicky]

Make the lube application part of what the TWO of you do for foreplay!!  You can guide the tip of a lube applicator in and let him push the plunger while you work on his fuel injector!!  Mutual touch and the run up will get you as moist as you naturally can, and then add the lube to finish the job.  There are a couple of surgical techniques that use the mucosa tissue from the urethral lining that give a higher level of self lubrication but not all doctors use it. 

[JessicaH]

Maybe this will help.
https://www.google.com/#q=coconut+oil+vagina

[Northern Jane]

Please don't put anything in your vagina that wasn't specifically designed for that purpose. Anything containing sugar or any kind of bacteria can lead to a very bad yeast infection!

[Renee]

Please don't put anything in your vagina that wasn't specifically designed for that purpose. Anything containing sugar or any kind of bacteria can lead to a very bad yeast infection!

Actually, coconut oil is anti-microbial and anti-fungal.  I use it every day and have never had a yeast infection. It has worked wonders. 

[boddi]

Actually, coconut oil is anti-microbial and anti-fungal.  I use it every day and have never had a yeast infection. It has worked wonders.

Thanks Renee but, forgive me, why do you use it? I believe you stated you are lesbian?  Thanks

[boddi]

I ordered Premeno Duo yesterday: http://www.medintim-shop.de/en/for-Woman/Vaginal-dryness/Premeno-duo.html

Not sure if it'll work for trans women and not sure if it will lubricate enough to be able to have sex. It doesn't contain hormones. What I don't like about lube is that once my boyfriend has penetrated me that oral isn't really an option anymore. It's possible I guess, but I don't like eating lube. I also don't like having to think about applying lube (and applying it, lol). I like sex to be spontaneous.. At 8 mths po I do notice that I don't need as much lube as before, which is an improvement. I'm trying lots of different brands and types of lube now, but haven't found a 'natural' (and eatable) one yet. Haven't tried he strawberry and other flavoured lubes yet. Those are probable eatable and in a way also natural but not really the type of natural I am looking for.

Thanks Cherrie, and do please let us all know how you get on.  Would be very interesting for us to know. 

[boddi]

Make the lube application part of what the TWO of you do for foreplay!!  You can guide the tip of a lube applicator in and let him push the plunger while you work on his fuel injector!!  Mutual touch and the run up will get you as moist as you naturally can, and then add the lube to finish the job.  There are a couple of surgical techniques that use the mucosa tissue from the urethral lining that give a higher level of self lubrication but not all doctors use it.

Vicky, hi, thanks for responding. I am told that my technique used the mucosa tissue from the urethra.  So do you think I should 'experiment' on myself to see if I really do get a little wet?  Strange though, as I've not noticed any moistness during  my 2 orgasm dreams thus far....

[boddi]

Thank you, JennaMarie.  Do you  know if you had the muscosa from the urethra used in your surgery?  I know it's meant to give extra moisture.  Apparently, I did but i'm yet to see any sign of this!   I wish i'd had Colovaginoplasty now for the lubricating properties of the graft 

[Padma]

I wouldn't recommend using any kind of lube with estrogen in if you're going to have unprotected penetrative sex with a man, as he'll absorb some of the estrogen.

[Jenna Marie]

I did have the mucosal tissue used, yes. It forms the clitoral hood and inner part of the labia minora. I'm not sure *where* the lubrication comes from, though; if it were purely from urethral mucosa, I'd expect it to be happening 24/7, not just during arousal. But I definitely get much wetter when I'm into things.

(I'm also partnered with a female, but that doesn't mean I don't enjoy occasional penetration! Which is how we found out that I self-lubricate enough for reasonably sized toys...)

[boddi]

I understand what you say Vicky, and I agree somewhat.  It's just I don't think men like it if you are dry.  They have this thing about turning you on till you are soaking.  Makes them feel like King!  And women invariably feel like failures if they aren't dripping during sex.  This makes it harder for us.  The pressure to ''squirt'' too, even though many natal women don't do this at all.  Hell, women are even lining up for ''designer vaginas'' now due to all the porn that has brainwashed them into thinking their vaginae are not cutting it.  It's hard.   I wish id had Colovaginoplasty now

  Cherrie: why do you scorn the suggestion of a dental dam?

[Renee]

Thanks Renee but, forgive me, why do you use it? I believe you stated you are lesbian?  Thanks

Yes, I am married to a woman.  We do enjoy pushing the limits of penetration at times and I believe that the coconut oil has helped condition my vaginal skin to be softer and more elastic. I also believe it has helped keep me free of yeast infections, and I use it every morning after I shower as a skin conditioner.  However, our favorite lube for penetration is "SILK".  Last week she actually managed to get her entire hand in me to the wrist, and she has an average sized hand.  Sorry if that is TMI, but I didn't believe that was even possible.  The release was amazing... tears of ecstasy. Bottom line is that with the right partner, all this worry about self lubrication vs.what lube to use doesn't really matter.  Enjoying the intimacy we share is really what makes sex amazing.     

[boddi]

Thanks everyone.

[Vicky]

Vicky, hi, thanks for responding. I am told that my technique used the mucosa tissue from the urethra.  So do you think I should 'experiment' on myself to see if I really do get a little wet?  Strange though, as I've not noticed any moistness during  my 2 orgasm dreams thus far....

If you are now into the time your doctor said that intercourse was possible, then by all means try and minipulate yourself (or get someone to help you), for me the tissue was used in my labia minora, and I can get it to lube things up by gently touching the area and doing a bit of play there.  I do have a vibrator toy that gets stuff moist too.  I am now at 10 months, and can insert a dilator without pinching or tugging on the tissue but I do like a little bit of lubricant for easiest use, but less goo is more sensation, its a balancing act.

To the oral end after lubing, As far as the problem with you giving oral to him after intercourse, a couple of friends solved that by putting a double layer of condom on him, and when the PiV is over, one layer comes off, and its nibble time. 

[boddi]

Thanks Cherrie.   I will try Lubricare.  How did you get on with Premeno Duo?

[boddi]

Thank you, Cherrie.  Helpful indeed.  May I ask what are the other two other Multi-gyn products you use that you mentioned?

[Jenna Marie]

Cherrie : Oh, that's a shame. I admit, it was kinda hard to find around here too, but I did manage to order off of Amazon. (My doctor also said the KY Silk-E is a decent second choice, if that helps.)