New to the concept of "MTF"

[CuriousAboutLife]

I'm 21 years old, this all started just a few days ago. I had a dream I was a woman and since then it has been on my mind nonstop. In the past i have wished i were a female. I've thought that my life would be more comfortable and happier if i were just born a girl. I've never done drag or dressed up in women's clothes. I've worn a pair of heels and god i love the way my legs looked in them. I'd like to think I'm a very good looking guy with some female like features. I have wanted to model (as a man) but can't shake the feeling of being in the wrong body (i know, cliche). I'm just worried if i were to start the process that i will look like only look like a guy in womens clothes.. Help? <3

Ps, tried posting a photo, but not sure if i did it correctly.

[Ashey]

Hormones can do wonders for your appearance. Don't fret so much, I think you'd do fine. And it certainly sounds like you're transgendered. I recommend doing some research on male-to-female hormone replacement therapy and then seeking out a therapist that deals with gender issues.

[CuriousAboutLife]

Yeah I've no doubt been researching all day yesterday and continued to today. My problem is, the costs are probably just not there for me just yet. How do people deal with the transition? I'm sure there is a period of time where people look manly but get a very strong female feature to their faces. I feel like i wouldn't want to go anywhere during that period of time. haha

[Ashey]

The effects can be subtle sometimes. Really, the biggest change that will be hard to hide after a while is the breast growth.  But some people have no issues switching back to boy-mode when needed, at least for a while.

[CuriousAboutLife]

The effects can be subtle sometimes. Really, the biggest change that will be hard to hide after a while is the breast growth.  But some people have no issues switching back to boy-mode when needed, at least for a while.

So what if i don't like the results, do i just stop taking them and it goes back? Or will i not look the same as before?

[Ashey]

Effects are generally reversible when you stop HRT, but after a while some may stick or might be harder to change back like advanced breast growth (which could require a mastectomy) and sterility, though some have argued that even that could be reversible.

[evecrook]

long before starting to transition I use to get dressed up and go downtown shopping. Make up can do an amazing job sometimes. Your face is narrow you'll probably do alright. And most people really won't notice. Talking to cashiers is a little difficult. I just did it because I had to for my own well being.

[CuriousAboutLife]

My thing is, if i start the HRT then i would be wanting to go ALL the way. facial reconstruction. and the "downstairs" surgery. How anyone on here gone as far as that?

[Dana88]

I'm just at the beginning, I am first starting hormones in the next month or so, though I do plan on going all the way as you put it.  Definitely wanna get rid of the thing downstairs :-P. I am someone who identified as a gay male before realizing/coming to terms with being trans and realizing that I'm really a straight woman mentally. The dreaming as a woman thing definitely happened to me all the time, especially when I was a little younger and my attraction to men was really coming on strong. Most of my sexual dreams in that period involved me as a woman with a man.

Yeah I'd recommend talking to a specialist. Also in terms of cost, it depends on where you live. Many large cities have LGBT centers which can aid in transitioning at a relatively low cost.

And the fear of always looking like a man in a dress is of course a bit terrifying. I'm a bit terrified of it myself. But take a look at the before and after thread, or look up transition videos on YouTube. It's amazing what hormones can do. Looking at those definitely helped assuage that fear a bit for myself.

[CuriousAboutLife]

And the fear of always looking like a man in a dress is of course a bit terrifying. I'm a bit terrified of it myself. But take a look at the before and after thread, or look up transition videos on YouTube. It's amazing what hormones can do. Looking at those definitely helped assuage that fear a bit for myself.

Yeah I literally have done nothing today but watch youtube videos of before and after "Nick to Nicki" ect... i think that the ones that i saw that made me most nervous were people that HADN'T started hormones and were just showing them as a guy versus a girl. Because looking at people who HAVE started hormones they have very different facial features opposed to people who are just putting on make up and a wig.

[musicofthenight]

Just a few days ago, huh?

Take it easy.  You're young and have a lot of time to figure yourself out.  Transgender, yes, but it's a big-tent party goin' on...

As you stand now, you make a very pretty guy.  I wonder what would happen if you confront your fear directly and try to pull of "guy in dress."  Might be a pleasant surprise, even if it's not exactly you.

[Dana88]

Just a few days ago, huh?

Take it easy.  You're young and have a lot of time to figure yourself out.  Transgender, yes, but it's a big-tent party goin' on...

As you stand now, you make a very pretty guy.  I wonder what would happen if you confront your fear directly and try to pull of "guy in dress."  Might be a pleasant surprise, even if it's not exactly you.

Agreed. I mean look, I do think everyone has their own path, and some come to terms with being trans and are ready for transition quicker than others. That said, there is no rush. Take your time and explore. Gender is a spectrum like sexuality. Definitely take the time to figure out where you are on it.

[CuriousAboutLife]

For sure i know i wont be doing ANYTHING for awhile. I don't want to rush into this with just my feelings to back me up. It's more so me coming to terms with how i feel and to talk to people who wont judge me and don't know me, it makes saying things like this much easier.

[evecrook]

talking to a councilor versed in transgender issues would help

[musicofthenight]

Well, growing out hair takes for-flippin-ever.  Might as well start that now. 

Voice work.  Experiments with personal grooming.  Paying attention to how you socialize, and a good solid look at psychological health.  There are lots of ways to test the waters, gather data, grow as a person irrespective of gender.  Caution and a gentle pace doesn't mean "do nothing."  Actually, nothing is probably the worst thing you can do.

[Ms Grace]

My thing is, if i start the HRT then i would be wanting to go ALL the way. facial reconstruction. and the "downstairs" surgery. How anyone on here gone as far as that?

There are plenty of ladies on this site that have. Usually you need to be on HRT for a while before facial or downstairs is recommended and that's because there's a lot more to contend with first.. regrettably, swapping gender usually doesn't happen overnight.

[CuriousAboutLife]

Yeah i know i have to start HRT before anything. I just don't want to start it, then research surgeries. I want to know EVERYTHING before i start. I know it's what I want, but i don't want to be surprised by anything. 

[Ashey]

Well, growing out hair takes for-flippin-ever.  Might as well start that now. 

Voice work.  Experiments with personal grooming.  Paying attention to how you socialize, and a good solid look at psychological health.  There are lots of ways to test the waters, gather data, grow as a person irrespective of gender.  Caution and a gentle pace doesn't mean "do nothing."  Actually, nothing is probably the worst thing you can do.

For sure. I realized recently that I started transitioning at least 10 years ago, even in the midst of my denial phase. It just kinda creeps in sometimes. Making small changes like growing your hair out, piercing you ears, etc. It helps a lot. Assuming you're into any of that stuff lol.

[Ms Grace]

Yeah i know i have to start HRT before anything. I just don't want to start it, then research surgeries. I want to know EVERYTHING before i start. I know it's what I want, but i don't want to be surprised by anything. 

A very wise approach.

[Dana88]

Yeah i know i have to start HRT before anything. I just don't want to start it, then research surgeries. I want to know EVERYTHING before i start. I know it's what I want, but i don't want to be surprised by anything. 

Yep I remember I did the same. It's good to know exactly what you're getting into. If while thinking about transition all the hormones and surgeries  and possible loss of friends and family feel like they're worth it so that you can transition, then there is a good chance that it's the right choice for you. I mean I was lucky in that I come from a very liberal family in a very liberal part of the country and I am in the arts. So I didn't think that loss of friends and family would be too big an issue. I mean I'm not fully out and I'm sure their will be some hiccups, but so far I at least know I have my parents and closest friends supporting me in this decision. For me one of my biggest fears was whether or not I would ever find a romantic relationship with a man who would be okay with the fact that I was born male. Eventually I went, being celibate my entire life but being female is preferable to the status quo. So therefore for me even the worst case scenario on the romance front is better than not transitioning. Definitely think of stuff like that beforehand. I don't mean to scare you off, but if things like that seem an okay trade off then again, it's a good sign that transition may be the right path.