Gay Dudes, Can You Just Not?

[Natasha]

Gay Dudes, Can You Just Not?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/parker-marie-molloy/gay-dudes-can-you-just-not_b_4330353.html
11/25/13
Parker Marie Molloy

"Dear gay dudes,

James Nichols at HuffPost Gay Voices has been doing a series of pieces covering Brooklyn drag culture. As someone who frequently blogs on HuffPost, I tend to read what is going on here. For the latest installment Nichols interviewed a drag queen by the name of -- sigh -- Amber Alert. As certainly as the sun will rise, an interview with a drag queen will invoke one of the more hateful trans-specific slurs: "->-bleeped-<-." This interview proved to be no exception.

"I felt immediately at home there among the irreverent ->-bleeped-<-s," the drag queen told Nichols. Sigh.

I've found that one of the more common misconceptions that people have about transgender people is that we're the same thing as drag queens. Trans friends of mine have had people ask them what their "stage name" is, and people have been surprised by my somewhat mainstream and conservative appearance."

[musicofthenight]

Drag is performance art, and drag-queen a kind of male fashion.  Plenty simple, now the only trick is educating the whole darn world.

Right.  Any ideas?

[Jamie D]

On this site, we follow this definition

Drag queens are performers - usually gay men, sometimes transgendered women - who dress in drag, clothing associated with the female gender, usually highly exaggerated versions thereof. Drag queens often do drag to perform, singing or lip-synching and dancing, participating in events such as gay pride parades, cabarets, discotheques, and other celebrations and venues.

We consider them part of the transgender community.  The same can be same for drag kings.

[Jamie D]

Great points.

[Jessica Merriman]

In my humble opinion they are not excluded from our community at all. I look at it this way though, I am trying to be who I feel, and have felt, my whole life where Drag performers do it for entertainment. The only point that makes me uncomfortable is the sometimes over the top way they dress and act. The public perception is that this is representative of them and we trans people and we are placed in the same category by association. They want to stick out, be memorable and entertain. I want to blend in, be me and live life without attention. Make sense? I learned a long time ago not to judge, but even I feel a little uncomfortable with the very extravagance and length's they go to. I never wanted to be diagnosed with Gender Dysphoria and fought with it a long, long time. Performers get to CHOOSE to entertain in this fashion. I feel like I am being lampooned to some degree by the more flamboyant performers and it makes me wonder if they ever look at it like that from my standpoint. I do not exclude them at all, I just wish they could see our point sometime. So do I exclude them? NO! Do I get a little put off from time to time? YES! Just remember this is MY opinion and I am in no way speaking for the others here in the family.   

[NathanielM]

On this site, we follow this definition

Drag queens are performers - usually gay men, sometimes transgendered women - who dress in drag, clothing associated with the female gender, usually highly exaggerated versions thereof. Drag queens often do drag to perform, singing or lip-synching and dancing, participating in events such as gay pride parades, cabarets, discotheques, and other celebrations and venues.

We consider them part of the transgender community.  The same can be same for drag kings.

Sorry if I'm nitpicking but I'm pretty sure there are lots of straight male dragqueens too. Beside that I get how it can be dificult to get put in the box dragqueen when that's the last thing you want however I feel that that's on those who can't see the difference. Shouldn't we ask for acceptance that we are different without excluding those that are different? I really admire people are brave enough to be themselves, whatever that is.

[suzifrommd]

Drag is performance art, and drag-queen a kind of male fashion.  Plenty simple, now the only trick is educating the whole darn world.

Right.  Any ideas?

Yes. Transgender people need to find our voice. We (myself included) growl about out treatment and write about it in specialty blogs that are mostly read by us. The black community in America came together and told us exactly how they needed to be identified and then demanded we respect their wishes. Organizations like the NAACP called out those who persisted in using disrespectful language for people of color.

We need to follow their example.

[Sophia Hawke]

Yes. Transgender people need to find our voice. We (myself included) growl about out treatment and write about it in specialty blogs that are mostly read by us. The black community in America came together and told us exactly how they needed to be identified and then demanded we respect their wishes. Organizations like the NAACP called out those who persisted in using disrespectful language for people of color.

We need to follow their example.

Things are changing, the younger generations are more educated on this kind of thing and far more accepting than 20 years ago.  I think its honestly a matter of time and possibly science.

[gennee]

Many gays really don't know what trans is all about. There's the tendency for groups to ghettoize themselves. Too many folks feel that if you're not like them, you're looked down upon as 'less than'. That's really a shame because we face the same prejudice and bigotry.

[Jamie D]

Sorry if I'm nitpicking but I'm pretty sure there are lots of straight male dragqueens too. Beside that I get how it can be dificult to get put in the box dragqueen when that's the last thing you want however I feel that that's on those who can't see the difference. Shouldn't we ask for acceptance that we are different without excluding those that are different? I really admire people are brave enough to be themselves, whatever that is.

The definition, in italics, was from the site's wiki page for "drag queen."  The definition did use the term "usually."

I agree with your summation, that we should be accepting to all of those who are gender variant, whether in identity or presentation.

[JulieBlair]

"Many gays really don't know what trans is all about. There's the tendency for groups to ghettoize themselves. Too many folks feel that if you're not like them, you're looked down upon as 'less than'. That's really a shame because we face the same prejudice and bigotry."

I am reminded of what Thomas Paine said, "If we do not hang together, we shall surely hang separately."  My recognition of my brothers and sisters needs to be as inclusive as I can manage. 

[Chaos]

The only problem I feel would come out of this,is being seen as a 'stage act' as a trans' person. 'Oh so you dress up,put on a show then go back to real life after?' If people do not start setting the ignorannt straight (we already deal with a lot of misconceptions) then we all will be lumped into some group of 'not 'really' male/female but like putting on a show' its not about whose welcome and not welcome in the trans' community but what is true inside of that community.I am not a drag king,I am not butch,I am a man.not someone who is gay and just expressing their masculinity or some junk like that.I'm all for a humans right to be their self,as long as it doesn't effect mine and this does exactly that.people need education and not a pat on the back.that includes those who claim their selves as something they know nothing about.

[Ltl89]

I have no problem with drag queens, ->-bleeped-<-s or cross dressers.  Everyone has the right to do as they please, and they are welcome in the transgender community.  However, I do have issues with people assuming transsexuals are drag queens and it can be a tad annoying when we are linked together in the media.  It's important for there to be an understanding of the differences because people can make hurtful assumptions when they don't.  For example, Rupaul is great, but most transsexuals don't want people to assume he (I hope that's the right pronoun) is an example of who we are.   Again, I have no problem with anyone who is a drag queen and don't mind  them being a part of the transgender community as they belong, but I do want my identity to be respected and understood.   That's just my feelings on the subject and hope no one took offense because I didn't mean any.

[lilacwoman]

I got quite a lot of hysterical flak from darg queens and homosexuals when I wrote a piece that was publsihed in my local paper:
'Drag queens at town gala should wear a notice round their neck that said 'Drag queens are homosexual'' - based on personal observation over many years I'll stick with regular drag queens being mainly homosexual though once a year drag queens probably are straight but lots of these seem quite bisexual.

[SunKat]

I find myself disturbed by James Nichols series as well.  Certainly drag is a performance... but so is blackface and nobody finds that acceptable any more.  I don't see how this is any different than gays objecting to lisping, limp-wristed parodies of gay men.

There are a lot of drag performers who are respectful to women and to the transgender community and I have no problem with them, but there are others who simply are not.  Just because drag performers share the LGBTI.etc umbrella with us, there is no reason to give them a free pass when when their performances are misogynistic or disrespectful.  When parody and satire cross over to ridicule... when "edgy" performance crosses over to contempt... then I think we have the right to ask them to "just not".

[Kelly-087]

I don't understand why people are so exclusionary with dqs in the trans community. It reminds me of how gay people are like..ohh, its okay to be gay, but trans, that's just weird. Trans people get annoyed, but then you see..ohh its okay to be transsexual, but dqs that's just weird. Why does everyone have toput someone down to feel accepted?

Ironically, dqs are one of the few people that don't do this, it seem like. They just kinda live and let live, and I feel like the way they brazenly smash the gender binary, which most of us - trans and cis - are incapable of doing (I can admit for mysekf I am a very binary thinker) is actually brave and forward thinking and they do it in such a fun colorful way, I say the transgender community benefits from the lightness they bring to its otherwise dark and depressing image.

Just mho. There's lots of different gender variant identities and presentations out there. Fully transsexual, genderqueer, bigender, androgynous, and soo many more and who is to say which should and should not represent the transgender community?

Drag queens are awesome! But. I don't feel like they belong being put into the same group as most of us.. It's just different. There's nothing wrong with them, and I love them. I just don't feel like they belong in the same umbrella as myself. Theirs is mostly an act and a hobby and me? This is my life.