This is mostly just a vent, but as always, any input is much appreciated.
I can't escape this feeling of being trapped. Six weeks ago I thought I'd started on this journey of getting out of this entrapment, I knew it was going to be a hike of epic proportions, but I didn't think it would take this long just to get a letter for an appointment with the mental health team, just so that they can apply for funding for me. I still haven't got the letter, and I'm fairly sure that six weeks is some sort of magic number for NHS referrals, but then again they've never been very good at doing things on target... actually, upon looking, it seems that Hampshire aim for four weeks. I didn't even think you needed to go through your local mental health team any more, and GPs could just refer straight to the Gender Identity Clinics.
It's been so long since anything started moving that it's getting harder to believe that anything will happen, and I'm thinking I've just been lost in the system again. I don't even know how I can get in touch with the GP about chasing things up, do you just ring up the receptionist and hassle or what? This is the one situation I'd like to be living at home and having my parents deal with, they understand stuff like this. My mood is plummeting with the knowledge that this is going to be an on-going battle, with not even an estimation of a time frame in sight. I need to escape it, but the only way is to keep trying to hide from the truth that this is taking a toll on my mental health, or do something I wouldn't dream of doing to my girlfriend and my new friends. Running away permanently isn't an option for me any more, which traps me in this situation of inescapable dysphoria.
Somehow, anyhow, I just want to be able to tolerate myself.
