Your family

[Tristan]

Interesting! I come from a very conservative family who tried everything to stop me and it took my mom a few months to come around and fully supports me now but dad still hasn't. In 2011 he stopped paying for my education, fixing my car, and talking when I came out. However, he knew I was going to be at our big family Thanksgiving gathering this year but showed up anyway and even gave me a hug unexpectedly on my way out. Although he doesn't talk to me much yet and says he isn't ready; showing up, being friendly, and giving me a hug were huge for him. I wonder if there is hope he will fully come around and it has been two years already since I came out? :/ Many thanks to you all for sharing sisters!

sounds like your wearing him down. you will be a daddys girl before you know it. and Megumi thats awesome your family is on board

[Saskia]

I was so scared to tell my family all those years ago and I remember this all so clearly. Initially I was going to wait for them to pass on as I was so scared of their reaction and if they would support me. I'm so glad I didn't wait because I'd have been a very miserable person by now or even dead. 
My parents immediately said they loved me and as long as I was happy that was fine. My 2 brothers and sister were completely the opposite. Initially my brothers said they would support me but then when they realised what it entailed quickly went the other way and were hostile. Both my brothers got married and I was the only family member to not be invited. That hurt like hell.
I've not seen them or my sister (also hostile and insulting) for over 25 years. I cannot forgive them and I cannot forget how they treated me. My Mom even took a long train journey to visit me in hospital after my GRS.
The only family member who has been brilliant has been my niece (daughter of my sister). We got back in touch fairly recently and she completely accepts me as her aunt. I get on well with her son who doesn't know anything.

For me the real surprising thing was when I came out at work all my work colleagues were amazingly supportive and treated me as just one of the female staff and I contrasted that with my siblings reactions. That in a way made it much worse to accept and forgive them.

[Dana88]

Well, I really love them and care a lot... I think I didn't express myself very well.

I see all my friends so distant from their families, living alone, some very far away...and somehow I envy them.

Not that I wish I didn't have a family...I wish I didn't have a very present family at this moment of my life. I wish I wasn't living on the same house, I wish I wasn't so linked with them... that would definately make things much easier for me.

It is somewhat of a sick relationship...my mother wants to know all my steps, she don't give me any freedom or space and I feel it is suffocating me. I know she only loves me, but this excess of love and care is not good for me with my age. I want to take my own decisions, I know what is right for me...and I can't get free without hurting her feelings.

I'm in the same boat. I live with my family now. When I came out to my parents about a year ago, and was flirting with transition back then, my dad was totally cool. He then read up on trans people, and gave me space, and let me talk about it when I wanted to and didn't when I didn't. He even said "I always wanted a daughter, just never thought I get one by way of a son first." My mom on the other hand was too supportive in the intrusive sense, and occasionally passive aggressive. She would come up to me and say things like, "do you want me to show you how to do your hair?" or "If you want to order some clothes for yourself you can do it and I'll pretend they're for me so your brothers don't know."

Now to clarify, yes I know she was trying to be supportive but the way she would say these things bugged me because she would say it so saccharine in this I'm being supportive through my teeth way, and she had her own idea of what me being female entailed and she would try to force it on me, meanwhile I was still trying to figure out my own version of what that meant and work through that on my own.

But then she would also say things that were passive aggressive like "It's going to take a really special guy to be able to look past all of this." Or "I could see you passing as a relatively pretty girl with some facial surgery." Or also "I mean you'll be a big woman, but I think you'll pass in time." Or "I don't know how you think you're going to afford this because your father and I can't help you." etc. Basically it got to a point then where I abandoned the idea of transitioning because she made me feel like there was no way that could be a path to happiness because I began to believe all those digs.

This time I'm pursuing transition again but haven't told either of my parents, because I need to put one foot in front of the other on my own here and gain my own confidence in this path before I can deal with micro-aggressions. I know I'm starting HRT super soon, and I live with them so they'll notice changes soon, but this time I'm far more secure in this decision, and when it hits the fan I know I can stand my ground.