REJECTED!!!

[Gina Taylor]

I'm so sorry your parents have had this reaction.  Do you still live with them?  If you plan to go forward with transition soon, I'd suggest finding a place to live on your own where you can be yourself.  They are in denial, and it may take a long time before they come around.  My parents had a similar reaction, and I ultimately decided that I wasn't going to let their bad reaction change my plans.

How you end up handling the situation is up to you, but always remember that you know yourself better than they do.  Good luck!

Denial. Maybe that's the angle that I'll take with them Anna. Thanks for bringing that up. I'll have to do some research on it. 'Cos you are right. How I handle this situation is up to me and only I know myself best.

Unfortunately I do live with my parents. I'd like to move out and find a nice place, but if it gets that bad I'll live in my car, until I can save up enough to move into a small place. Girls gotta do what a girls gotta do.

[Devlyn]

I know that I'm not liivng my life for my parents and that I'm living my life for me. I've tried to explain that to them. But there are so many consequences involved. But could you explain what you mean  when you say that I've made a step forward whether I see it or not. 

Sure, you're confronting her on it. You're telling her that whether she likes it or not, you know who you are. She may never accept it, but she needs to know it. Hugs, Devlyn

[Miss_Bungle1991]

Not really. My mom is very stuborn. I tried working her over 18 years ago and she wouldn't budge, and now 18 years later she's still the same way. Unfortunately the only way that I'd be able to live my life as a woman would be to completely disown myself from my family.

Wow...that really sucks. 

[Gina Taylor]

Sure, you're confronting her on it. You're telling her that whether she likes it or not, you know who you are. She may never accept it, but she needs to know it. Hugs, Devlyn

Thanks Devlyn. I kind of thought that that was what you meant, but I was just making sure. 

[Gina Taylor]

Wow...that really sucks. 

Unfortunately Miss Bungle, that's the way life gets sometimes.

I was talking with a good friend this morning, and he agrees that I should leave and start my new life by myself. So I'm planning on hitting the road for the New Year, and there will be some financial changes made to my disability.

[Gina_Z]

Y'know Gina Z, that's what they've told me, so why can't I disown them? But you've also made a good point there, about doing what a woman should do and treat them with love. Maybe I might try that, as long as they don't suspect anything. I did however send my mom a possible compromise that sh emay go for. More on that later . . .

I think the whole 'disowning' thing is negative. If they behave badly, that does not mean you have to. I recommend treating them with love and realizing it's okay if they suspect something. Compromising is often a good solution, but keep in mind that your goal is probably to be who you want to be, who you are. Be gentle with them, even though they're not gentle with you. I'm not in your situation (yet) so it's easy for me to look at ways of handling it, in a theoretical way. But really, be a gentle woman while not allowing any bullying or allowing them to define you. Good luck!

[Miss_Bungle1991]

Unfortunately Miss Bungle, that's the way life gets sometimes.

True.

It just sucks, though. Family should be more supportive and willing to listen and learn.

[Saskia]

so sorry to hear your news Gina. Do what you need to do for yourself. You know what you are and that's the main thing. In my case my parents were great but my sibblings were diabolically awful. Its a blow but keep doing what you're doing and work around it. You'll get there in the end.

Hugs

[JordanBlue]

I tried to explain to my dad that I have GID, and he wanted to know who diagnosed me with this, and when I told him that I did, he told me that I'm not a professional, so my opinion doesn't matter.

Right...like we don't know ourselves and what's going on in our brain and heart better than anyone else ever could???  But you're seeing a GT?  That's good.  I had my first GT appointment this week and she already told me "I'm hearing a lot of gender dysphoria".  Of course I already knew this, but it brought me a little peace to know that I wasn't just crazy. 

[Missy~rmdlm]

I wouldn't set orientation in stone just yet, after all if pone like women before and after transition, then one is then lesbian. One way or other there is no neat way to deal with orientation, even being asexual is awkward.

[Gina Taylor]

I think the whole 'disowning' thing is negative. If they behave badly, that does not mean you have to. I recommend treating them with love and realizing it's okay if they suspect something. Compromising is often a good solution, but keep in mind that your goal is probably to be who you want to be, who you are. Be gentle with them, even though they're not gentle with you. I'm not in your situation (yet) so it's easy for me to look at ways of handling it, in a theoretical way. But really, be a gentle woman while not allowing any bullying or allowing them to define you. Good luck!

Y'know Gina Z, I wish I could have you here to defend me. That's exactly what I'm trying to get through to them about is that I know who I want to be and who I am. Fortunately, I think I'm starting to break through with my mom, and she will let me be who I am, but there are consequences with it. She told me that since she's more involved with the church, and one day she might decide to go to a Saturday night service, the last thing that she wants to do is to see me as a woman, so she's asked me to leave my church and find another on to go to. So I think she's partially agreed to my compromise, which was that I can do whatever I feel like doing as a woman during the work days and on the weekends because they're not home. Basically what they don't see won't hurt them.   

[Gina Taylor]

True.

It just sucks, though. Family should be more supportive and willing to listen and learn.

I agree with you Miss Bungle that family should be more supportive and willing to listen and learn. But my family won't becasue they all feel that it's wrong and they don't see any good in it. So I must suffer. 

[Gina Taylor]

so sorry to hear your news Gina. Do what you need to do for yourself. You know what you are and that's the main thing. In my case my parents were great but my sibblings were diabolically awful. Its a blow but keep doing what you're doing and work around it. You'll get there in the end.

Hugs

Thanks for the vote of confidence Saskia. But I do intend to do what I need to do to make my life better. Really sorry to hear about your siblings. I'm almost having the same problem with mine. I'm going to try and find ways to work around it.  I'm a very strong and determined woman!

[Gina Taylor]

Right...like we don't know ourselves and what's going on in our brain and heart better than anyone else ever could???  But you're seeing a GT?  That's good.  I had my first GT appointment this week and she already told me "I'm hearing a lot of gender dysphoria".  Of course I already knew this, but it brought me a little peace to know that I wasn't just crazy.

I'm really pleased to hear that you've got a good therapist Jordan. That's one hurdle you won't have to worry about.

36 years ago I was involved in a bicylce accident where I collided with a car and ended up spending 3 months in a coma with brain stem injuries and brain damage. Now my folks think that with so much messed up in my brain that that could be the reason for my GID. I think they're just trying to prove otherwise. I know what I am and I know who I am, and it's just a matter of them accepting it.

[Robin Mack]

*hug*  I'm so sorry, Gina.  I hope eventually she will come around, but from what you are saying she may not.  Some of us are lucky and get to keep the family assigned to us at birth; some have to build a chosen family instead.

I hope you continue to build a support network in real life outside of your immediate family; no one should have to walk this path alone.  In the meantime (and beyond), we're here for you.

Much love.  *hug*

[Rachel]

Hugs, I am sorry for your rejection.

You made a huge step forward in developing your agency and the fact you are steadfast in your identity will help them realize who you are. Being consistent and using unmitigating language  will help solidify their view of you.

Step back for a second and take account for how far you have come. You are a strong woman indeed.

[Gina Taylor]

*hug*  I'm so sorry, Gina.  I hope eventually she will come around, but from what you are saying she may not.  Some of us are lucky and get to keep the family assigned to us at birth; some have to build a chosen family instead.

I hope you continue to build a support network in real life outside of your immediate family; no one should have to walk this path alone.  In the meantime (and beyond), we're here for you.

Much love.  *hug*

I really appreciate your love and support Robin.

I do have some other friends outside of my immediate family that support me, and it is a shame as you siad that some people have to build a chosen family instead of sticking with their assigned family for support. But I'm in the process of making plans for my near and distant future.

[Gina Taylor]

Hugs, I am sorry for your rejection.

You made a huge step forward in developing your agency and the fact you are steadfast in your identity will help them realize who you are. Being consistent and using unmitigating language  will help solidify their view of you.

Step back for a second and take account for how far you have come. You are a strong woman indeed.

Y'know Cynthia, it's only a small set back. But thanks for reminding me on how far I've come in such a short time. I've really built up a lot of confidence and self esteem. I've been keeping a record in my diary of all of my outings and everytime it only gets better.  But unfortunately my mom doesn't want to see anything of it. It's like she doesn't want this part of my life to exist in her life. But it soon will come to pass. 

[Constance]

Gina, you shouldn't have to endure this. None of us should. Some people need time. But it doesn't always work that way.

Rejections like these are the reasons we're hear for each other, and I'm here for you Gina. I wish I could be there physically for you in some way.

HUGS

[Gina Taylor]

Gina, you shouldn't have to endure this. None of us should. Some people need time. But it doesn't always work that way.

Rejections like these are the reasons we're hear for each other, and I'm here for you Gina. I wish I could be there physically for you in some way.

HUGS

I couldn't agree with you more Constance. My mom has had eight years in which I haven't really bothered her aout this, and like she said today I dropped it on her like a bomb.  But at least it's not exactly life threatening like cancer, but it is something that I have been suffering with for a long time and now I've decided to finally take it into terms and do something about it. And quite frankly I don't really care if she wants to accept it or not, because this is my life that we're dealing with and it's my dilemma that needs to be corrected. As long as I have your spiritual support Constance, that will do plenty for me.