i can't say when exactly this started, but recently i have this dying urge to fly. yes that's to fly not in a plane or anything, but with my own wings. like a bird. i think this came around when i was feeling anxious or dysphoric in public and seriously wanted to escape the situation, i wished i could just fly away from there. out into the vast empty sky, all alone, no more bonds with anything... the flying wish developed day by day and it grew up to a point where i thought i had wings. i could close myself from the rest of the world and imagine myself flapping my wings, pushing air downwards and with that force my body rising from the ground, going up and up into the sky and then gliding over beautiful forests and mountains. just thinking of it feels so great. the feeling of cold wind beating on your face, no boundaries to stop you... this thought comes up when i'm feeling bad. i wish i could fly. i really want to fly. arrghh! maybe finally i'm turning mad. or it's just that daydreaming disorder thing.
