Scottish MtF transgender help

[Sandra_Dickinson]

I'm 5'8" as well, would love to be shorter as I'm soo gangly right now. Strangely enough the last time I went to boots and measured/weighed myself I clocked in at just under 8 stone fully dressed and 5'7". A  health nut friend of mine said that it was due to the massive amounts of walking I do - it's about 2 miles to my train station and a further mile to my uni from there, so every day I was doing a round trip of about 6 miles - apparently this wears out the soles of your feet and can cause your skeleton to settle, making you slightly shorter. I walk EVERYWHERE now lol

On the figure, just fake it until you make it doll X I use breast forms (Or chicken fillets) that I picked up for about a fiver from Primark (also where all my outfits come from) to fill a padded bra - A cup only, as that's probably all I'd get naturally (Sister and mother are both B's) and I wear a padded gaff that I picked up online, about £40 - this was a great purchase, it puts barely an inch total onto my hips but jeans and the like just fit so much more naturally - they'd fall off otherwise.

http://www.thebreastformstore.co.uk/mens-padded-panty2.aspx

So you just booked with the hospital for the laser? didn't have to go through any hoops? I might look into that then, I assumed it would have to be set up like HRT or voice training through a gender clinic.

Also I called my clinic today and I have a follow up for September booked with Doctor Gerber, Dr Kennedy is on holiday though so I won't be able to get a second confirmation on my HRT until October at the earliest. It's nice to have a timeline, but I am pretty impatient. We'll see how I react to that in a couple of months.

[Cat]

Oh wow, you must have a really small frame for your height. Which is totally a good thing!  I'm not big-built, and I'm quite slender, but I'm way heavier than you.  I have a friend who walks all over the place though -- prior to starting that he was extremely overweight, and he got to the point where he is now extremely thin, so it definitely helps.  Right now I do about 35 mins of cardio most days on a cross-trainer, but I've stopped running, because I don't really want what it would do to my calves.  Once my endocrine situation is correct, maybe I'll consider running again, but not right now.  Walking though... that I could do more of.  I read also that we can lose up to an inch in height following HRT -- something to do with the effects of less muscle on the skeleton or something... but I dunno if that's the case, I haven't researched it myself. 

I do have the fillets (I'm kinda wearing them now, in fact, as I do most days at home, just so I 'make sense' when I see myself).  Do you tape those when you go out, I guess?  But ohhh, thank you for the link!  I've been wondering about the hip padding.  That's awesome.  Most of my jeans fit well at the waist (the size 10s, at least), but I would appreciate a little more curve to fill out the hips.  It would be a much more natural look. 

And yes.  The laser clinic is part of the hospital, but operates as a private clinic also.  I believe their NHS waiting times are super long, and I think also that a referral would be required for that.  But you can go yourself if you're happy to pay for it.  This test thingy will cost me about £30, and then I think each session will be in the region of £75-100 after that, spaced a month apart.  It's something I can do right now that will make a difference, and I feel like I really need to get started.  I need to do something right now.  Hopefully the test patch will work out ok. 

Glad to hear you have a date to see Dr Gerber!  I know what you mean about waiting, though.  I'm still desperately waiting for my local psych appointment at the end of the month.  Oh, and yesterday I read that Chalmers apparently do consider referrals from Tayside, so now I'm confused about what I read before.  But maybe not self-referrals?  I dunno.  Anyway, I'm impatient too.  That's why I'm gonna discuss the thoughts of self-medding I've been having with my doctor and see whether that bridging treatment might be an option.  But at least you have the appointment!  And even if it's October, and that's still too long, it's progress on where you were before, right? ^^

[Sandra_Dickinson]

I read also that we can lose up to an inch in height following HRT -- something to do with the effects of less muscle on the skeleton or something... but I dunno if that's the case

Oh my god that would be amazing. My height worries me when I'm out, I love wearing heels but they can make me feel awkward and too different. I'm size 6 so I guess I have a small frame, but when I look at my back and shoulders in the mirror it doesn't feel that way. I realise I'm not alone, and in a better position than other girls. I want to put some weight on though, but like you I'm scared of putting it on the wrong place or developing muscle from it. Sexy calves can be a plus though girl!

I wear my fillets all the time and my gaff as well, it's pretty much permanently in the wash, then back on me. Just makes me feel right, especially when I catch myself in a mirror or a shop window. I don't tape though, I never thought of that! They can move around and I've been scared of adjusting them. Just a sports bra with them, it's not too flattering but has a much more natural shape I find.

Laser is an idea I may choose to follow once my wages start coming in, if I'm on HRT by October then I want to be as smooth as possible!

[Danniella]

Hey all ^^

Sorry for no updates or chat involvement in a bit, crazy few weeks, bad assed flu, my father in hospital and work problems = a busy busy Danniella ^^;

To catch up to the convo...

I'm 5'9" without heels...which I ALWAYS wear since going full time (like seriously...I don't own any non heeled shoes now :S) which results in the unfortunate effect of having me tower over all my female friends and family...but I am growing used to it now. If nothing else being that tall helps build confidence pretty damned fast, since it's not like you can hide in a crowd xD

I'm not sure about losing height or not...but my feet shrank...a hell of allot (see Pic)



Went from a women's size 11 to a 9, which is great! since now I can actually shop for shoes in some high street places ^^;

But I imagine if HRT can do that for cartilage in your feet etc, is might do something for your height as well.


I've not actually started laser/electrolysis yet. I'm lucky and unlucky in that I have very light fine facial hair anyway, which the HRT has additionally softened and slowed the growth of. I still want to get electrolysis eventually (as I do need to shave every morning otherwise I can feeeeeel it D: ) but considering the cost? I think I am better spending funds elsewhere on my transition, at least until the NHS can help.

So what is the plan for the 10th then? I have the day off work but no knowledge of appropriate meeting places in Glasgow ^^;

[Sandra_Dickinson]

Hay Dannielle X

So you do see cartilage loss as well as muscle loss? I'm a seven, I can actually steal my wife's shoes. I guess I won't be dropping that much as I probably don't have much to lose as I am a twig :p

You make a good point about being unable to hide, when I first started going out I always had friends ask for things or talk to people for me. Once I had to do things alone my confidence leapt up

I'm starting my new job on the 7th so if I am able to meet up it will be after work and rather late - I'd want to go home and get changed before coming through. If I'm honest the weekend would be better, or meeting up closer to home. But I can still make it for a couple of hours and a drink or so. Unfortunately I don't know much about Glasgow at all, I'm an Edinburgh girl.

[Cat]

I don't wear heels out yet, so my height is just about okay, but I'm pretty tall in heels.  My upper body is so annoying though.  I mean, I'm not particularly broad shouldered or anything, but... compared to where I want to be, it's just... it's fine with certain things, but... it's really not fine.  I need to lose mass there.  Which I will.  But... I also need patience, which I don't have.  :p  Sexy calves though, yes, but I know that when I ran a lot before, they got very defined, and since they would still develop under the influence of androgens right now, that's a worry.  But in principle, I totally agree.  I will be keeping myself in shape, for sure. 

I read about the taping thing.  I think I would have to.  I don't wanna bend over in a shop and my fillet comes out my top and rolls across the floor.  I can see that scene in slow motion, with me screaming "Noooo!" and everyone looking on in shocked amusement.  I don't bend over in shops much, admittedly, but you just know it would happen.  I've had the 'lost boob' scenario too many times at home to be comfortable without securing them somehow.  Oh, but a sports bra, that is a cool idea, that might work better. 

Shop windows... and shop mirrors... >.>  Did not have fun looking in those today.  Makeup was so rushed this morning, and... omg, not a good look.  Hair had to dry in the wind, too.  Yikes.  HOWEVER, I did have a little success of my own!  As me and my partner were waiting to use some revolving doors, a woman turned to her friend and declared that they would "let the ladies go first".  Yay!  I can only assume they didn't look at me very closely, but even so, that was nice. 

I want to be smooth asap, too.  I don't have heavy facial hair, but it is dark, and I do struggle to get a close enough shave to really hide it as well as I would like. >.<  I think it's one of the biggest issues I have.  I can't do much about the shape of my face right now.  People always said I had a feminine face as a guy, but that's quite different from having a female face. -_-  I dunno how much of a difference HRT makes with, like, fat redistribution and skin softening and stuff.  But losing the hair is something that will make a significant difference, I feel.  One day I will have surgery, one way or another, but for now....


Hi Danniella! ^^  Nice to see you back.  Hope you feel better, and that your dad is okay. x 

I'm an eight in shoes right now.  I will be happy to lose sizes.  Ofc, I'll be sad that my lovely boots don't fit me any more... ;_;  But overall I'll be delighted. 

I can't do the 10th now, as I said above, but I can do another date!  Potentially can do another place, too, if it's easier for us all. 

[Cat]

gdi, I forgot to mention (soz for double post), but I got my statutory declaration notarised today, so I can get all my official documentation and stuff changed into my new name forthwith... ^^

[Sandra_Dickinson]

Gratz! You're moving forward so well! I'm mega jealous as I am still so scared of coming out, something I discussed with doctor Gerber -long story short, I have some issues with my dad...

But I'm so glad to hear that you've got things moving forward X

Dark hair is such a pain, even when clean shaven it still shows though. I'm sure that you didn't look anywhere near as bad as you thought - we're always our own harshest critics X

And on the 10th I finish at 4pm. Up to anyone else what happens.

[Cat]

Oh, I'm totally not feeling ready, I'm totally scared, but I don't think we ever really feel ready for half this stuff, right?  Same as anything major in life.  ^^  But I know who I am and how much I need to do this, so I can't let fear stop me -- buuut I'm only able to say that because I've been fortunate to have my family's support.  I remember you saying about your dad.  I hope you can find a way to deal with him that works for you.   My only slight concern was that my family had been supportive in word but had seemed to kinda withdraw from it and not want to see me or hear about it much, but I've managed to tell them my name, and now they're gonna try to use it, so that's progress.  I kinda felt like I had to hold back for a bit because I wasn't sure how they were dealing with things, so I completely understand where you're coming from, even if I feel lucky in comparison.

It's funny though, coz I feel like you're way ahead of me.  It's just circumstances.  Being at uni, and being off for the summer... it's fortunate for me, it gives me breathing space to do this.  If I was at work right now, I don't think I could.  Going back in September will be a challenge, but I have lots of time to get my head straight for that (and my presentation).  And you're inspiring me. x  I'm gonna try going out with my breast forms soon I think, and maybe with the gaff if I feel I can fork out for that. 

Anyway, thanks.  Maybe you're right.  I know I've always been extremely harsh about myself.  I'm a nightmare when it comes to this stuff.  :p  As we all are, I guess.  I'm sure I'm not the only one here who always hated every single thing about how I looked.  One day that's going to be different, though!


Danniella, are you suggesting the 10th coz I did, or because it's the best day for you because you're going to Ayrshire at the time and you can stop on the way?  Because I have this hotel break booked on the 10th now, but I would hate to miss out on meeting you girls.  But if that's the date that works for you, go for it, and I'll catch up with you another time.  All of this is my fault for getting the initial date wrong, and then for not making it clear to my partner that we still might meet up, so that she booked this break for us instead. 

If it doesn't have to be the 10th, I might suggest the following weekend, but please don't let me muck you all about.  I know I've been a pain about this.  >///<

[Sandra_Dickinson]

And you're inspiring me. x  I'm gonna try going out with my breast forms soon I think, and maybe with the gaff if I feel I can fork out for that. 

Gosh you got me smiling so hard I'm squeezing tears out X

We're all here for each other and to inspire and help each other. You've got me thinking about coming out and how to discuss things - it's got to be done sometime, right? I'd sure like to go back and see Dr Gerber in September and tell him that I'm out and full time. We've each got our hurdles and goals to overcome, and you'll get past yours soon enough. I look forward to talking here in a few year's time at the other end of this, when we're all savoir-faire ladies of leisure!

Still haven't seen you at all honey but I'm sure you're gorgeous X We all pick on ourselves and know the feeling of hating what we see in the mirror, but the confidence of going out and having fun while looking the way you know you should will bring that down, that and support from your fabulous friends here and elsewhere (and of course your significant other)

Support can only go so far though, this journey is deeply personal to all of us and we have to learn do it alone. You sound like you're well on top of that already X

Oh and on the meetup - weekend would be good, but other times can be dealt with. If we wait a little then that's fine. Patience is a virtue we all have thanks to dealing with the NHS

[Sandra_Dickinson]

OK to change the tone and subject somewhat, I PASSED MY DRIVING TEST!

More specifically Sandra passed her test - on my last attempt I looked in the mirror and said to myself (I talk to myself a lot) 'This is your last attempt, Dave. This is the last chance for you.' then I failed for the fourth time.

Before I left this time I put on my lucky pants and stared in that same mirror and told myself 'You can do it Sandra, you've done much more than this already.' I kept that in mind while driving, that Sandra was here now and she doesn't afraid of anything.

And I passed. I am on cloud nine right now. I send you all my love and good mojo, may you have as good a week as I have XXX

[Danniella]

Hay Dannielle X

So you do see cartilage loss as well as muscle loss? I'm a seven, I can actually steal my wife's shoes. I guess I won't be dropping that much as I probably don't have much to lose as I am a twig :p

Jelly...I am still far too large to steal any girl's clothes xD

But yeah, there is definitely something more than just muscle loss in my feet, couldn't tell you exactly what, but I reckon you don't lose like 3 shoe sizes from muscle alone :S

Hi Danniella! ^^  Nice to see you back.  Hope you feel better, and that your dad is okay. x 

He is a stubborn old gent, he will survive and continue grumbling about "all the fuss over nothing" during it >.>
[/quote]

gdi, I forgot to mention (soz for double post), but I got my statutory declaration notarised today, so I can get all my official documentation and stuff changed into my new name forthwith... ^^

Grats! I've got about 50% of my name changes done across the board now...it takes so long when you only have one new birth certificate, I would recommend paying for another one if you have the spare cash, simply to save time as you can then be dealing with two agencies at once.

Danniella, are you suggesting the 10th coz I did, or because it's the best day for you because you're going to Ayrshire at the time and you can stop on the way?  Because I have this hotel break booked on the 10th now, but I would hate to miss out on meeting you girls.  But if that's the date that works for you, go for it, and I'll catch up with you another time.  All of this is my fault for getting the initial date wrong, and then for not making it clear to my partner that we still might meet up, so that she booked this break for us instead. 

If it doesn't have to be the 10th, I might suggest the following weekend, but please don't let me muck you all about.  I know I've been a pain about this.  >///<

I'm easy to be honest

If it's better for people, I will be in Edinburgh on the weekend of the 19th this month? We could potentially have a meet up there + then?


I'm currently in a drawn out battle with my GP to provide me bridging HRT and bloods...I am gradually making my way up the ladder of important people, hopefully i can eventually talk to somebody who will actually be willing to help ^^

[Danniella]

OK to change the tone and subject somewhat, I PASSED MY DRIVING TEST!

Before I left this time I put on my lucky pants and stared in that same mirror and told myself 'You can do it Sandra, you've done much more than this already.' I kept that in mind while driving, that Sandra was here now and she doesn't afraid of anything.

And I passed. I am on cloud nine right now. I send you all my love and good mojo, may you have as good a week as I have XXX

Sandra sounds like a pretty cool girl, I bet she kills aliens...

[Sandra_Dickinson]

Oh if anyone would get the reference I knew it would be you Dannielle XXX

19th actually works better for me so I'm up for that!


EDIT: OMG your new pic is absolutely gorgeous Danielle! You look stunning!

[Cat]

Ok, first of all Sandra, CONGRATS ON PASSING YOUR DRIVING TEST!! Yay! \o/ So happy for you to have succeeded at last!!!

((And you've just proved that women are better drivers after all, thus destroying an age-old patriarchal stereotype. ;3  One day I hope to join you.))

And ty for the kind words. <3  I had a rough few days tbh, but nothing to worry about, just the common, garden-variety rough days.  I'm not feeling so great today, either, but mainly because I had to not shave so that I can go to this laser consultation (at least, I figured it would be stupid to go there without any visible hair for them to remove o.O).  I did order the gaff though, and I will experiment with going out more overt soon.  I'm looking forward to that.  ^^  As for your own situation -- yes!  Coming out has got to be done sometime, but it's such a personal thing that no one else can really know what's best for you in terms of timing and how you go about it.  But we are here for you, at least, along with those people around you whose support you have.  The support of you girls here has been a huge positive for me already, and you're helping me to move forward even when I'm scared about certain things.


I did the name change via statutory declaration instead of my birth certificate, Danniella, so I have extra certified copies to send to various places.  It definitely helps to be able to hit all these different places at once.  But I spent all of yesterday writing letters.  -_-  Thankfully, not everywhere I need to contact has to see a certified copy, so for certain things I've just attached a photocopy of the document instead.  Obv the official government stuff, bank stuff, etc., has to be the official ones, though. 

Love your new pic also! <3  Maybe one day I will feel confident enough to put one up myself, but don't hold your breath just yet.  Crossing my fingers for you with the bridging thing.  I'm about to have the same fight, but I'm not feeling super positive about the outcome. 


I can totally do that weekend.  We can arrange a date and time via PM (I have that privilege now, it seems), and I will look into booking trains.  The one caveat, as was going to be the case last time, is that my partner would be with me.  She's worried about me going off by myself right now, which I totally understand, and I would feel better having her with me for the journey and stuff too.  She is really lovely, and totally supportive, but I completely understand if you feel uncomfortable with that, so don't feel bad about saying so.  Just let me know.  It's all good either way.

[Danniella]

I did the name change via statutory declaration instead of my birth certificate, Danniella, so I have extra certified copies to send to various places.  It definitely helps to be able to hit all these different places at once.  But I spent all of yesterday writing letters.  -_-  Thankfully, not everywhere I need to contact has to see a certified copy, so for certain things I've just attached a photocopy of the document instead.  Obv the official government stuff, bank stuff, etc., has to be the official ones, though. 

It's a paaaaain in the ass. But I got all my new bank cards through yesterday! One less stressful potential clocking situation (I hated handing over bank cards with my old name on them D:)

Love your new pic also! <3  Maybe one day I will feel confident enough to put one up myself, but don't hold your breath just yet.  Crossing my fingers for you with the bridging thing.  I'm about to have the same fight, but I'm not feeling super positive about the outcome. 

Well my case went as high as it could go...and I still got told no

The NHS is so bloody weird sometimes I swear...if I was a junkie who walked in full of smack, they would get me on methadone and test my bloods etc at the drop of a hat. But tell them you are trans and self medicating and nobody wants to lift a finger -.-;

I can totally do that weekend.  We can arrange a date and time via PM (I have that privilege now, it seems), and I will look into booking trains.  The one caveat, as was going to be the case last time, is that my partner would be with me.  She's worried about me going off by myself right now, which I totally understand, and I would feel better having her with me for the journey and stuff too.  She is really lovely, and totally supportive, but I completely understand if you feel uncomfortable with that, so don't feel bad about saying so.  Just let me know.  It's all good either way.

I'm totally happy with partners etc tagging along, whatever makes you comfortable ^^

We can continue the planning via PM

[Cat]

Oh, congrats!  My bank cards should come back in the next week or so.  I don't feel like I'm passing well enough to worry about being clocked if I'm close enough to someone to be handing over my bank card though, lol.  Patience, I know, *sigh*... :p  I figure if I'm gonna face the awkwardness of my name and presentation not matching up whichever way they're oriented, I'd rather have the official stuff in place, and at least I can try my best to live up to the stated name and gender.  Plus, it just feels better this way.

But anyway... grr.  That makes me so angry.  I don't understand how they can be refusing you.  -_-  It's clearly stated in the protocol and in the RCP guidelines on this (and also in NHS England & Wales documentation) that monitoring & bridging therapy can be provided even where the normal conditions for HT aren't met, and is particularly to be considered (the tone suggests it's recommended, in my opinion) when the person is established in their acquired gender, and as a safer alternative to self-medding.  So, I don't get what their problem is.  I'm sorry you got that response.  >.>

And thanks, we'll do that! ^^

[Elizabeth1]

Hi girls, if you all remember I've already had my first assessment at Edinburgh clinic with dr Kennedy (may 28) and am now waiting for final assessment with dr gerber. In anticipation of getting my hrt my local gp was contacted by clinic to arrange for blood tests. Get this done next Friday! Nearly there. With me set to see dr gerber before end of September my wait for hormone start is nearly over- subject of course to blood test! . I'm so excited. Nearly time for this ugly chrysalis to hopefully become some kind of butterfly- want my boobies and some curves so bad!!!!! Lol :-). Just hope my arthritic hip does not cause long term issues with hrt ? . Nice all you Scottish lassies are meeting up. Without being presumptous maybe I could eventually join . Then again I don't want to cramp your style being all young things! - im pre hrt and 50 ! That's my latest! Watch this space!

[Sandra_Dickinson]

Hmmm.. I'm sure I already wrote a reply but the site has been down for a couple of days...

Well it's great to hear you're moving ahead - I'm not going to be seeing HRT until October at the earliest so it's not like I'm any closer than you! I'm fine with you joining us, but we haven't set a time or a place yet, I was waiting until I'd got my car sorted. I was thinking a coffee or lunch earlier in the day? Nothing is set so just message me with ideas X

I know I have a follow up with Dr Gerber in September and a second opinion from Dr Kennedy to receive before anything starts moving forward, but it's just good to know that things will still move ahead.

Message with ideas ladies!

[chrissydr]

Been a long few weeks, but I am happy to say, that I am now on hormones. Has only taken me a year and a half. They were paranoid, because of a few things that popped up in my blood tests, so they wouldn't give me them, till they were sure.

Its def a long wait and its a right pain. But worth it in the end.