I'm sorry this is so long, but I have to explain what's happened during my two months in California. I've been helping a girl my age overcome obstacles, and get started in transition as she learns the basics of womanhood (how to use makeup, wear appropriate clothes, talk, move, and simply find courage). So you may remember this thread
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,174737.0/topicseen.htmlWe've been hanging out for a month and a half, and have become very good friends while meeting for lunch or dinner, or just shopping. It's turned out to be a wonderful experience for both of us since we have so much in common, and we're now sympathetic sounding boards for our mutual problems. She's been a fantastic girl to have around when I stumble, and I know she needs me to keep her from falling.
But I've got a giant problem that suddenly forces me to spend over two month in Northern Michigan, and once again results in leaving most everyone who still supports me behind. Then within the last two weeks my friend found herself unwillingly astranged from her entire family during what should have been a very joy filled time of year. Yes, this means Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years with family has disappeared for both of us, but we are trying to find ways to cope with it. We spent the last couple days together just talking, and this sometimes brought up lots of tears about what has changed forever in our lives. As you know, a good cry is sometimes the best medicine.
Since I knew an extended leave may be needed I had already introduced my friend to a local Trans and CD social group that meets twice a month at a gay club nearby, and I encouraged her to join my weekly MTF and FTM therapy group in Oakland (which she did). I think there's support for me now in Michigan through a very small group of gay and trans individuals in the UP that get together for a holiday meal at the home of the only girl I know in that desolate part of the country. But while I'm away, my friend feels she'll have nobody left to help her at those times when she needs someone the most. She knows I always have my phone with me, but a phone call isn't equal to a warm hug, a gentle touch, or the tears and smile of a friend.
So, it seems I need to help her more (and maybe myself). My question is
"What more can you suggest?" I'm not sure there's anything more that can be done, and we both feel kind of bad about this. Guess that's what happens when we unexpectedly make good friends. Especially girlfriends.
Kathy
