Why do trans girls SEEM like such negative nancys?

[Joanna Dark]

Lately reading this forum everyone seems so negative about transition and the focus seems to be on all the drawbacks: ridicule, loss, the impossibility of it all. But I remember reading last January a post from this girl who used to post here and she had friends, a boyfriend she lived with, an amazing wardrobe and fashion sense and I was so jealous and thought why not me? And now it's a year later and I have a boyfriend a live with, aan amazing wardrobe and even though I'm having hard finincial times, life has never been better. I'm finally where I always wanted to be. And the future requires shades it's so bright. So lets here some positive things. Real things. Or if not that, what your dreams are.

[Isabelle]

I think it's because a lot of the membership posting in this area, are pre transition/closeted and feel like they're standing at the bottom of a mountain that can seem insurmountable. A lot of us that are post transition are much happier and realize it wasn't that bad (in some cases it is rough though) I've noticed most of us that transition "successfully" no longer need the space to vent and just continue with their lives. In my case, transition was easy, I got my letter and am due for surgery in about 5 months. Job done. Problem solved

[amZo]

Being negative ensures one remains unhappy and unsuccessful, it's a waste of energy. The 13 traits of successful people is below...

http://www.nextaff.com/resource_centers/business/13%20Characteristics%20of%20Successful%20People.pdf

[E-Brennan]

My dream is simple.  I come out to my wife, she says something like, "Ok, we'll work through this together.  I'm just glad you're not sick or leaving me for another woman - well, kinda.  But I'm here for you because we vowed to go through life together no matter what, and this is going to be one crazy adventure we can enjoy."  And that's the end of that.

Thanks for starting a positive thread!

[Violet Bloom]

  I may be a black-belt master of sarcasm, but I'm never negative.

[Brooke777]

Joanna, thank you for starting a positive thread. I think this is a great idea.

I have been on hormones about 18 months, and feel amazing! My family and friends are all extremely accepting, and loving. In fact, my mom and I are closer now than before. I have had a few decent relationships, and currently have a great boyfriend. My son and I are closer than ever too! I have made friends with some of the other moms at my son's school, which is great. I pass about 90% of the time. A couple of months ago, I was involved in a modelling shoot for a few local advertisements (non trans related ads). I volunteer at the VA to help trans people. I might be hosting a self defense class for the local trans community. And, one of the best things, I no longer live with my abusive ex-wife!

So yeah, there has been a lot going on the past few months.

[Dee]

I agree with Isabelle- I may lurk, and try to give input where helpful, but I otherwise don't have much to post, since things have generally been going well.

To think of it another way- if a person has questions, there's a good likelihood they're scared, which doesn't tend to breed positive vibes.

[Shaina]

I think it's a combination of things.

1) Trans women have hardships that many cis women never have to deal with, particularly transition.
2) It's a support site so people that are down-or feel most in need of suport-might post more.
3) Happy Heather doesn't sound as cool. 

Anywho I've met lots of happy people here and they often inspire me. 

[Carrie Liz]

Yeah... admittedly it can get negative at times, because, well, this is a support site, so most of the posts are going to be from people who need emotional support and need people helping them. After a certain point in transition when everything is pretty much done, most people leave. If you look back to 2009-2010, 99% of the posters in them are nowhere to be found now. Every single year there seems to be a completely new list of members who are the most active, and then a year or two later they're all nowhere to be found anymore. Transition is temporary. Most people, once they're done, just go out and get back to living their lives, and they really don't have a need to be here anymore. Which means that at any given moment, a majority of the people here are always going to be those who are in the difficult parts of transition, and fighting through all of the physical and emotional changes, so most of the topics are going to be about that too.

[Jill F]

No complaints here.  I was incredibly fortunate, well, apart from that whole gender dysphoria and wanting to die young thing.  In fact, knowing how bad it can get makes me feel pretty guilty at times about how well I have it.   

[kelly_aus]

This question was kinda asked in another thread recently and my repsonse in that thread was this:

I don't bother much with posting the positives here any more.. Being called a liar gets to be a drain I don't need.

The fact is, I live my life as a woman.. I do normal things. I don't make my being trans an issue, it's so far down my list of priorities. But I've long been working on the 'Take me or leave me' theory. I am who I am.

Oh, that and the stories of happy and fairly successful non-ops seem to draw hate from some around here..

[Violet Bloom]

  I personally go to great lengths to lighten things up around here.  It's good for me and it's good for everyone else.  When the inevitable fighting starts I immediately tune out of the discussion and close the thread.  Hopefully this thread will stay on track.

  Some people just have some very serious personal problems and it comes out in really nasty attacks.  There was this one girl that nearly broke the whole therapy group I was going to because they were too much of a needy drama queen who couldn't admit to a requirement for some serious one-on-one councelling.

[BunnyBee]

I feel proud of myself for taking an impossible situation and turning it on it's head.  Nowadays, I am so happy and feel genuine love for people in this world just for being people, and I am thankful every day for just being alive.

Just a few years ago things were much different.  Every night I went to sleep dreading waking up the next morning because then I would have to confront my own miserable existence all over again.  Every night I would cry I couldn't make tears anymore, almost every night.  I saw no way out, no way forward and I just wanted it all to stop.

I am thankful I somehow found the wherewithal to survive.  I have no idea how.  I am not a strong enough person to be here today.  Yet here I am.  I want everybody that is just starting out to know that there is a way out for them if they can just persevere.  No matter how little hope they may feel.  I mean, I had zero hope.  Not a drop.  Just persevere, and take small steps.  They add up.

[Violet Bloom]

  Jen, you must be doing something right around here with a +90 rep.  I just gave you one more!

[BunnyBee]

<3  Thanks!

[Misato]

I think Isabelle hit it right on the head, as did the others with their notes of this being a support site. And that the membership changes so it's new faces walking the path. I was away since August and see new faces, haven't seen some old familiar ones...

Me personally I had unfinished business here so I came back. That, and I'm having a hard time moving on from the transition part of my life. I might do some surgeries in the future, but everything I set out as need to do's are done. I'm happy and love most things about my life. Really the things I'm harumph about are contained to left over responsibilities from the old life, having nothing explicitly to do with the trans part. Heh, come to think of it that's probably just called "being thirty-something" too.

[Violet Bloom]

3) Happy Heather doesn't sound as cool. 

  I hope nobody calls me "Positive Pansy"!  There's multiple wrong ways that could be interpreted...

[Miss_Bungle1991]

"Positive Portia" is so much cooler.

[Ashey]

I might have my negative moments (mostly when I'm moody) but overall, things are going pretty well for me. Just passed my courses for the semester, I'm closer to my mother and sister than I ever was, HRT is going pretty smoothly and the whole process was relatively easy to start, I can be myself now, I'm looking forward to going on a trip with a friend for spring break, and in August I'm moving to Seattle with that same friend. Plus I'm eating healthier, sleeping better, and exercising regularly, so the pounds are starting to melt away. And once I reach my target weight, I'll finally trade in my guy clothes for gal clothes and go full-time. Only issues I can say I have are the general stresses that go with college courses and well... I'm a bit lonely. :/ But, that bit will hopefully be resolved after I move. I'm fairly optimistic about it.

[Miss_Bungle1991]

Anywho I've met lots of happy people here and they often inspire me. 

Being happy is so gay.

*plays a rimshot*