Lesbian feminist tries out male privilege. Prefers female privilege.

[Natkat]

I don't think it's perfect but good and learning experience for her specially.

still belive transgender have alot more wide experience on gender from both side than she had, as many of us have lived in those role by years and we also have tried the homonal thing, but as a cisperson she may also reach out in another way who I think could be pretty good for some unaccepting parrent to see "okay this woman who feel like a woman couldnt live as a man so it really not something you just do"

however
She focus alot on the social part on genderoles and I think a person who dont know alot about transgender could mix it together the social genderoles and the gender identity. abit of "if you want to be a woman why dont you act like one? but this also happents in other kind of trans video exemple who put out the transperson as this extremly masuline or femenine person "can you really belive this extreme macho man have been a girl wow big news.."

[Shantel]

I don't think it's perfect but good and learning experience for her specially.

still belive transgender have alot more wide experience on gender from both side than she had, as many of us have lived in those role by years and we also have tried the homonal thing, but as a cisperson she may also reach out in another way who I think could be pretty good for some unaccepting parrent to see "okay this woman who feel like a woman couldnt live as a man so it really not something you just do"

however
She focus alot on the social part on genderoles and I think a person who dont know alot about transgender could mix it together the social genderoles and the gender identity. abit of "if you want to be a woman why dont you act like one? but this also happents in other kind of trans video exemple who put out the transperson as this extremly masuline or femenine person "can you really belive this extreme macho man have been a girl wow big news.."

Yup, it's bigger than what she understands, good points NitKat!

[Shantel]

To Dalebert and everyone here:
      I watched the video again and cried because though all of the thoughts we have all discussed here are so valid I finally realized how profoundly stifled I was during the fully male segment of my existence by the understanding that real men don't show emotion. Men don't cry, they don't touch each other in any kind of overt show friendship. My dad lived 92 years and I never really knew him, the song "Cat in the Cradle" always brought me to tears and I never really fully understood why, and as I think of the heavy handed way I raised my own sons and realize that they've grown up to be just like me, I am all the more pained in my heart and soul. I went through harrowing experiences in SE Asia, many of my friends never lived beyond 18 - 19, I loaded many on choppers with their guts hanging out and I never cried. I was dead and emotionless for several years afterward because it was expected, it was who I was as a man. When my girlfriend (now spouse) had me hold her cat as she drove to have the poor distempered animal put down, I cried all the way there like a baby for the first time since the war. I honestly believe that I became Shantel to fill this huge emotionless void that had engulfed my life and I'm not ashamed because I understand things more fully now and have been emotionally alive and well these last almost 20 years as a result of this transition.

[Ltl89]

Disclaimer, I didn't read all the comments.

Both men and women have privileges and social restrictions.  In my life, I have noticed certain social perks from living as male and have watched people give me more respect or responsibility than their female counter parts.  As though being male is something to be cherished or coveted and that women aren't as good at what they do.  It's silly, but I have seen men treat other guys with more respect and with courtesy.  I'm very sensitive to gender interactions, so I have noticed that.  It doesn't mean that there are no drawbacks to being a guy, but there are still some prevailing stereotypes that can put men in the advantage.  I'm sure the same can be said of females as well.  I think it's all silly because men and women are people.  We all have strengths and weaknesses.  And all of our personalities and experiences differ from person to person.  To expect someone to display certain characteristics due to gender is silly; however, it happens all the time.

When I told my mom I was transitioning, she said it's a man's world and that I shouldn't make ife harder for myself.  All I can say is that life is harder and more stifling when you are forced to pretend to be something you aren't.  It's suffocating to live as the opposite gender.  Whatever social benefits there are for either gender, you can't pretend to be something you're not.  Maybe this experiment validates that more than invalidates societal privileges.  Just my thought. 

[Natkat]

thinking about it I really like this threat because I feel it important remembering both sides.
I do have many feminist friends. But it bug me if I heard females have it all bad and men have everthing, or females are victims and men rape them.

I do not see it as a one side thing I see it as both. as female you don't want to be seen as a weak victim but as a guy you dont want to be seen as a cold as*hole either.
theres few times I actually still wish for female privilegde, like the ability to show emotionans without being viewed as weak or creppy.
the law thing are many agenst women, like they dont get paid as much as men, But the emotional thing is a very big problem for men I belive.

just a exemple:
if a girl getting raped it would be horrible, but if a guy got raped he sure enjoyed it.
or if a girl say she feel discriminated that girls are weak, it would be understandable
but if I say I feel discriminated that guys are ->-bleeped-<-s, I would just complain.

[Shantel]

if a girl getting raped it would be horrible, but if a guy got raped he sure enjoyed it.

Guys do get raped and they don't enjoy it any more than women who get raped do! It's got nothing to do with sex, it's an act of violence to denigrate and show dominance over another person and it is intended to destroy the spirit of the victim.

[Natkat]

Guys do get raped and they don't enjoy it any more than women who get raped do! It's got nothing to do with sex, it's an act of violence to denigrate and show dominance over another person and it is intended to destroy the spirit of the victim.

its what im saying

[Shantel]

its what im saying

Oh, I mis-understood! 

[Natkat]

Oh, I mis-understood! 

I try putting up exemple on how the female and male role is viewed I do not agree with the view.

[Nero]

I suspect that it's not just about being male or female mentally or naturally leaning toward masculine or feminine but also the difference in gender roles. Both gender roles are stifling and suffocating in different ways. I think a man coming here from another time, say the last century...





or a different culture in the current century...





... would also feel out of place in modern Western male culture. And may experience some of the same disconnect the author did.

As a guy, I'm not much more fond of male gender roles and norms than I was the female ones. And sometimes I feel glad that I grew up trans and didn't have all this stifling stuff instilled in me as a boy. I wouldn't be the same guy. And feminine boys (or trans girls) might have it beat into them more than others.

Still, this story is good to show the stress of gender roles from a trans or cis perspective.

[ThePhoenix]

Thank you, thank you, thank you for posting this.  I read the Self Made Man about 2-3 years ago.  I have read a number of trans* related books and a lot of trans* stories.  But Norah Vincent's is the only book, article, or story I have ever read and thought to myself that it was my story.  Even though I never went and did the things she talks about doing in the book, I felt many of the feelings she describes, including even the feeling of being an imposter and pretending.  But I have never seen this interview before.

By the way, the OP said she was writing the book.  It was actually published in 2006.  So no need to wait for it if you want to read it.