OK Girls, I need some VERY personal advice.

[Caisie Breen]

I am now eleven months postop with my SRS. Unfortunately, my long term results are an absolute disaster! I am now all but closed and can only dilate with a .300" lube injector. And even with this, I have to numb the area first with Lidocaine.

I went to Phoenix yesterday and met with Dr Toby Meltzer. This is what he said he saw..

1.He noticed that a skin graft should have been used and that the tissue from the penal inversion, was probably dead when it was used - hence, the extreme scarring and pain issues.

2. He said that my urethra was way too high and that this is why I make a mess every time I pee.

3. Finally, he said that my clitoris is way too large, that he always does them much smaller.

So before I get in to my question, because I know it will come up, I have no intention of bad mouthing my original surgeon nor am I taking any steps to seek monetary compensations.

That said, here is my very painful dilemma...I have always wanted to be a FULLY functional female; still do. So even though I am a 58 y/o M-F lesbian, I would like to have the experience of having sex with a male. The revision surgery is almost $20,000.00 and I may need to to may another $3,000.00 visit for a vaginoplasty. I have already scheduled this for May 2014.

But after reading all the posts here regarding Dr Metzer, Dr Bowers and other doctors doing these procedures, I am having second thoughts and am wondering if maybe I should just have the vaginoplasty and remain closed.

Any thoughts?

Hugs,   

[Vicky]

OK hun -- You really have me confused about this one.  You say you have some vaginal depth although no girth, so you do have some vaginal area possibility already.  My total job with Dr. Bowers was only $23K US which was vaginoplasty and labia plasty.  Dr. Meltzer has about the same fees for the whole job, and while I did not use him he was a possibility,and I think he could do both a skin graft expansion of the existing vagina and your labial revision for a little less than that.  Definitely get the skin graft revision of your vagina in order for you to have what you dream of there. The other parts are less important, but should be done if you can. 

Why not also ask Dr. Bowers office what their cost might be as well.  Also check back with Dr. Meltzer's staff on the pricing and procedures again.

[Caisie Breen]

Thanks for your quick response Vicky.

Per your question about girth and depth - Dr Metzer measured my depth at only 2". But I must say, I think I really like your answer a lot! Even though I will have to keep up my painful dilations until May, And - start the whole dilation process over after surgery, I do think I will happiest with my current plan to have revision surgery.

Thanks again Vickey 

[JordanBlue]

I have no intention of bad mouthing my original surgeon nor am I taking any steps to seek monetary compensations.

Caisie:
First let me say, you avatar shows a beautiful woman. I'm envious...
I have no idea who your original surgeon was, but it sounds like he was having a real bad day when he did your SRS.  Maybe it's none of my business, but why wouldn't you try to get him to make things right? That's a whole lot of $ to not be happy with the results.

That said, here is my very painful dilemma...I have always wanted to be a FULLY functional female; still do. So even though I am a 58 y/o M-F lesbian, I would like to have the experience of having sex with a male.

I guess I can understand this.  I'm 59 and will just be starting HRT next week.  At this point in my journey, I'm not sure I'd ever want that experience.  But who knows? Maybe my mind will change once I get on HRT.

[Caisie Breen]

Thanks JordonBlue for your response.

As for "why don't I go back on my original doctor?".

First, I guess I'm just an empathetic pushover. I had got to know this surgeon well over a couple of years and even attended his church for awhile. Secondly, as a business owner myself, I can completely understand "having a bad day" or otherwise just making a mistake. So bottom line, I'm sure that my results are not what this physician wanted or planned to experience. Weak reason I know, but that's why.

I want wish you the best of luck with your journey. As I have done much more research since my procedure, I can tell you that if had I had it to do over again, I would have chosen Dr. Toby Meltzer from Phoenix or Doctor Marci Bowers from California for my SRS.

Merry Christmas! 

[Evolving Beauty]

Never understood why american girls spend so much when they can go to Thailand & have it half price & of better quality there.

[JordanBlue]

Never understood why american girls spend so much when they can go to Thailand & have it half price & of better quality there.

Probably because Thailand is a hell of a long way from the USA if something goes horribly wrong.  That would be my reason.

[kelly_aus]

Never understood why american girls spend so much when they can go to Thailand & have it half price & of better quality there.

Australian women make the same choice.. And it's not 1/2 the price, not is it better quality. I've also not heard any stories of the US or Canadian surgeons leaving behind all the erectile tissue - like I've read and seen of the Thai surgeons. Seeing a post-op woman with what almost looks like an erection is wrong..

[Jenna Marie]

Ouch. It sounds like the original surgeon made a real mess (as everyone says, people do have off days), and at least you now have confirmation from an expert that it *can* be fixed and you aren't just prone to over-scarring or something so that this would be likely to happen again with a revision.  That's all good news, even if the price tag is scary.

I guess my advice depends on whether you have the money, where "have" is defined however you like - can spare, are willing to spend, whatever. If you do, the full revision sounds like the best plan. If not, is there any chance of doing only the cosmetic touchups and going back a third time for the re-opening/skin graft aspect when and if you can part with the money? $3000 sounds cheap to get the externals cleaned up and made gorgeous, so I'd definitely do that; if the money is available, I'd also personally want to get it all done at once.

(Oh, and when I shopped Thailand, the price was about $16,000 US versus $18,000 for Brassard, and he's a few hours away from my house in an English-speaking region familiar with Americans, versus a very, very long airplane flight to a much more foreign country. I totally understand why others go to Thailand, and I might've been tempted if it WAS actually half the price, but as it was... As for quality, I'm 100% satisfied with everything, so I can't imagine it being more than equal in quality for *me.* )

[bethany]

Never understood why american girls spend so much when they can go to Thailand & have it half price & of better quality there.

While the surgery might cost a lot less than it does in North America; you have to add in the cost of air fair and hotel. Not to mention that you are on the other side of the globe away from loved ones. Personally that would not be an option I would choose.

[angiegurl]

Personally I would go back to the original surgeon and say "Dude you eff'd up! How are you going to make it right?" At the end of the day you did not get anything remotely close to what you were expecting and paid for. Just my 2 cents.

[Caisie Breen]

Thanks everyone for the great advice.

I so Love this forum - Susan's. It sometimes feels like there is just no one I can talk to who would Really understand. But here on this board, total strangers - Wow! Again, I'm just so touched and grateful for you, your opinions and advice. It really helped a lot. I am again anxious and excited about moving forward with this revision surgery.

Merry Christmas to everyone here at Susan's!

[JLT1]

Caisie,

I'm having doctor issues as well.  I have decided I don't respect most of them.  So, I have a negative bias. You should know that.  However, it seems that doctors have a responsibility to do things correctly but no accountability if they mess up.  I am a scientist but I also own a small resort.  If something goes wrong at work, even something little, I not only have to fix it, I end up on some type of remedial action.  At the resort, if something goes wrong, I get it fixed and I fix it at my own expense.  Up to and including a full refund.  And I do not make as much as most surgeons. 

So, is it reasonable to hold someone who is paid more and has a higher level of responsibility to a lower standard than anyone else is held too?  The only reason I can think of not requesting some recompense (refund or new surgery) for the problems you have felt is if you don't trust him. 

As far as your question, if you have the money and can take the time off.  Yea, get it done.  You should be complete.

I am so sorry this happened.  It will get better.

Hugs,

Jen

[Caisie Breen]

Thank you Jen for your response. As for trusting him, I would not have him perform anymore procedures. I guess the reason I won't go back on him for the work done is that, over time, I grew fond of him and simply will not do anything that may damage he and his family. Again, I know this is weak and that's why I took it off the table at my first posting.

It's a pleasure to meet another business owner and I want to wish you a very Merry Christmas.

Finally, I do so appreciate your and everyones help with this issue and I am looking forward to having my revision in May.

Hugs,

[JLT1]

Thank you Jen for your response. As for trusting him, I would not have him perform anymore procedures. I guess the reason I won't go back on him for the work done is that, over time, I grew fond of him and simply will not do anything that may damage he and his family. Again, I know this is weak and that's why I took it off the table at my first posting.

It's a pleasure to meet another business owner and I want to wish you a very Merry Christmas.

Finally, I do so appreciate your and everyones help with this issue and I am looking forward to having my revision in May.

Hugs,

Caisie,

I understand.  You are a beautiful person, both inside and out. 

Hugs,

Jen

[Caisie Breen]

What a very kind thing to say Jen. No one has ever said that to me before and you've really made my day.

Merry Christmas 

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

Would you recommend him for any procedure?

[Caisie Breen]

He did my breast augmentation and I have no complaints about the results of that procedure.