Quote from: Doctorwho? on December 19, 2013, 05:35:52 PM
Quote from: Jen on December 19, 2013, 05:00:14 PM
I don't mean to speak for anybody, and i might get this wrong, but I think the 'I'm not trans' thing comes from the idea that they feel the prefix trans (which means go across or something like that) doesn't apply to them anymore because they have finished crossing over.
I guess that is one way to look at it, for me though, tense doesn't matter. If you ever had to cross, or if you will one day get there, or if you feel like you should but don't know if you can—past present, future– if crossing over the gender/sex divide is part of your situation,"trans" applies to you. Just my opinion though, people can call themselves whatever they want as far as I'm concerned.
When somebody feels like they are better than you because of whatever specific category they fall into, that is just their tendency toward tribalism speaking. Tribalism is wired into our dna, it causes so many problems, and I kind of hate it, but it is part of our nature. Sometimes, though, people just come across like they think they are better than you, but don't actually feel superior. That is where we need to mind our words and be careful how we phrase things, also for the listener, try not to project your insecurities on what somebody else says. Look for context and try to actually understand the meaning of the message.
This ^^ particularly the last bit... For example my refusal of the label has everything to do with the context on my life. I'm working in a scientific and clinical context where its important to get as precise a diagnosis as possible, and so general catch all terms just won't do. I need greater precision... So its certainly not a case of any sort of superiority, rather a search for language which accurately and clearly conveys my experience of life.
Oh and I don't deny having changed my physical sex, but again the idea of transition doesn't seem to cover the experience very well... I would describe my life experience as more of a gender evolution...
Ultimately the only things which really changed were my genitalia (and they aren't really anyone's business but me and my lovers,) and my visual style. As far as my "gender," as in the soft presentation of my personality, is concerned I don't think that really changed all that much if at all.
I kind of evolved it, emphasizing different aspects of myself, as I moved through the various phases of my life, but the fundamentals have always remained the same. I was playing around in a very small notional space which exists between total androgyny, a soft and sensitive man, and a practical down to earth woman... They really are only different shades of the same thing. To use a colour analogy one is blueish purple, one is and purple purple and the other is pinkish purple - but they are all purple!!
Now forgive me but this seems to me to be at least qualitatively different from someone who, for example transitions from blue all the way to pink, if you get my drift...
Anyway I think we are all more or less on the same page here...
What does this mean? "Non TG female"
I feel like you are misrepresenting yourself. Several posts talk about what 'you all go through' and then you talked about how medical school was 'no doubt a more significant transformation' (not exact quote, but I can find it) than 'what you all go through'. Ok, no doubt medical school is a noble and worthy endeavor and I'm not challenging that, but I find what you said pretty presumptuous. And 'you all'? like you're not one of us?
I was very excited when I saw that you had returned, only to be quickly disappointed by your attitude towards 'us'.
