Self-Love?

[confusedbilliam]

No no no, not like that, pervs....  : P

So, at the moment, I'm very much pre-everything.  All I've really done is come out to a very small collection of friends.  One piece of advice I received was that the coming out process is made much easier through self-acceptance, confidence, and love.  And I'm starting to realize that this may be something I've never really mastered.

It seems like a silly thing to ask, but does anyone have any advice for learning how to become comfortable with myself and who I am?

[Catherine Sarah]

Hi Billiam,

Maybe a start for you could be to forget what any one thinks or says about you. Delete those thoughts from your mind completely. Now fill that space with; how do YOU feel about yourself. Who do you perceive yourself to be, and why. Who do you want to be for the rest of your life.

Nobody can answer these questions for you. You are the one who needs to focus on and answer hese questions. Once you are totally confident with who you are, everyone else will follow.

And yes. You do need to genuinely love yourself before you can even attempt to love any one else.

Huggs
Catherine

[confusedbilliam]

Oh!  Side-note, I am currently seeing a therapist and taking some light depression medication, so that's helping a great deal.  This is more with regard to day-to-day stuff.

[peky]

You touched a raw nerve with the title...

When I was 4 or 5 YO I will see how other parents will love and kiss and be so proud of their kids but I got nothing but harsh words and beatings from my parents...

Things got worse when I started elementary school as the beatings and abuse also come from the teachers, priest, and classmates....

One day, when I was in 5th grade, after a serious beating I looked in the mirror to see my busted lip and my swollen face... and I cried, I cried really hard... but not for the pain or for the abuse but for the poor abandon and neglected girl that was looking back at me... I felt I was also letting her down by not loving her either.

So, from that they one, I felt tremendous empathy and sympathy and love for myself !  Rough time will still come, some pretty bad but I always had me, I was not alone anymore!

Courage, OO...

[KabitTarah]

No no no, not like that, pervs....  : P

So, at the moment, I'm very much pre-everything.  All I've really done is come out to a very small collection of friends.  One piece of advice I received was that the coming out process is made much easier through self-acceptance, confidence, and love.  And I'm starting to realize that this may be something I've never really mastered.

It seems like a silly thing to ask, but does anyone have any advice for learning how to become comfortable with myself and who I am?

I have to admit... the first thing I thought was "I know what you mean, but that title sounds...."

I think this attitude is wonderful in itself! I think learning to accept yourself is a process. Make sure you affirm your self love daily (not like THAT )... and make sure people see that you love yourself. Even if you don't fully accept it, eventually you will see that things are better when people think that you do... and it will become true over time.

I don't fully accept my situation. I would absolutely choose to just be cis if I could (I have 3 kids and a wife... I'd be saving them so much pain)... but I do love myself and who I am, and I know that I'll love it more and more as I can truly be myself.

Good luck and have fun with it!!

[Catherine Sarah]

This is more with regard to day-to-day stuff.

OK. Just do the practical things. Take extra care in how you look, (hair done, skin care, finger nails etc) dress, (smartly or always appropriately dressed) carry yourself, ( don't slouch, walk with confidence) Care for your body through a good diet, exercise (walking will do).  Focus on your self talk. Don't let negative talk or thoughts take root. Associate with positive attitude people.

Huggs
Catherine

[FalseHybridPrincess]

Actually , I ve done what cathrine said,,,

if you forget what society thinks about trans people, if you forget every single negative thing they say,,,what would you think?

Id think that everyone is super mega ultra awesome ,i d think that having the strenght to transition is amazing ,  id think that being able to realise what is truly happening within you is too amazing, and the ability to change everything and live as you always wanted , thats the most amazing thing of all

and the list goes one,,,i mean who gets the chance to live both as a male and as a female in their lives? sure its not pleasant living as the wrong gender , but we learn so many things about how guys think for example ,,,could prove useful...

We have a dream that can actually become reality , for example my dream always was to become a girl and live as one , and I know that if i try hard ill achieve it,,,but eer what about a "normal" person... his dream might be to become a doctor or a singer or an actor,,,pff i say a lot will be dissapointed , what do you say?

of course I wasnt always that possitive , it took a lot of thinking 
other trans people helped me with that

[Catherine Sarah]

if you forget what society thinks about trans people, if you forget every single negative thing they say,,,what would you think?

Id think that everyone is super mega ultra awesome ,i d think that having the strenght to transition is amazing ,  id think that being able to realise what is truly happening within you is too amazing, and the ability to change everything and live as you always wanted , thats the most amazing thing of all

THIS ^^^^^^^^^^^^^