And now, with his annual Xmas message, here's the head of the Xmas Safety Council, the head of Walter Cronkite.
In all the tinsel and terror of the holiday season we too often underestimate that murderous brute better known as Santa Claus. With images of last year's gingerbread massacre freshly baked into our memories, I remind you to bolt your doors, say goodbye to your pets and lock your children in the closet. This is Walter Cronkite saying, "I told you so".
Santa has been seen preparing for tonight in his ice fortress on Neptune.
Let's see who's been naughty, and who's been naughty!
People are encourage to defend themselves with using traditional yuletide methods.
A Surface-to-Santa rocket launcher. It comes with three jolly-seeking missiles.
In breaking new a suspect has been apprehended in the Santa case but has pleaded "Not Santa".
He was quoted "No, wait! I'm the good Santa. I've got toys ... at very reasonable prices!"
So as we all prepare for Santa's next rampage the important thing is we're all together for Xmas
He knows when you are sleeping.
He knows when you're on the can.
He'll hunt you down and blast your ass from here to Pakistan.
Oh.
You'd better not breathe, You'd better not move.
You're better off dead, I'm telling you, dude.
Santa Claus is gunning you down!
So if we survive tonight have a very Merry Xmas, everyone!
