Worries, questions, doubts about binding in my particular situation.

[em444]

Hi everyone! Well I've been thinking of buying my first binder. But I have so many questions and doubts that I don't even  know where to start. I'll try to organize this the best I can.

- I'm a very fat person (200 pounds in a 5'1'' or 5'2'' body) which brings many concerns about binding. I've never been able to tolerate clothing that is too tight so I'm afraid the same might happen with binders. I'm also afraid that by compressing part of my body fat will show more by moving to other places and forming bulges that might show under my clothing (which even my bras do). Like for example I'm afraid random masses will  come out of the binder around the armpit area (which seems to happen to  not so fat people too) or that my back in general will look weird (which it already does). I mostly wear t-shirts and I tend to use clothes that are bigger than my size so I don't know.

-My skin can be very irritable and sensitive (not to mention I'm prone to allergies) and I live in a very hot country (in the caribbean to be more precise). Even during winter it can get very hot and sweaty and just uncomfortable so I wonder if binding might be an issue. I've heard of people who use a t-shirt under their binder to avoid skin irritation but since I'm fat (point number one) it sounds like something hard to do and that could be quite uncomfortable especially in such a hot place. I've never been able to comfortably wear more than one piece of clothing at the same time: I feel like it might feel somehow "crowded" in lack of a better word.

- I've heard you shouldn't bind every day, and that when you do you shouldn't  do it for too many hours which brings an issue for me because I'm outside/on the streets most of the time and I'm not sure how I could deal with the awkwardness of presenting without "breasts" at one moment and then with them at another in the same day or week. How do you deal with that or what do you do in general when you're not wearing your binder?

- For many reasons, I can't get surgery or T (I think it's probably not even done in  my country to begin with plus I have a huge phobia concerning medical procedures among a lot of other factors), and I've heard that binding can break the muscle tissue of the breast making them look droopy and stuff. Mine already look that way because of my weight and because of the fact that I refused to wear a bra for most of my chest developpment and only started doing so when I really couldn't do anything else. My fear is that I'll end up with neither a nice flat chest nor decent looking breasts (if you're forced to have them anyway, it's better to have nice ones? although I'd prefer having a flat chest).

- I've heard you can bind with a sports bra, but  I have questions as of how it is exactly done and how it is different from just wearing a sports bra. I still want to buy a binder, but since I'm gonna buy it online and it might take a while to get here, and I'd like to look flat or at least flatter for the holidays,I've been thinking of buying a sports bra in the mean time. Supposedly you're supposed to wear a smaller size than you normally would, but how much smaller exactly? Again it makes me worry about my fat issues: I have trouble tolerating tight things

-About the binder itself, I'm not sure how to choose one among the many options at underworks (unless you have a better store  to recommend?) and I have no idea how to choose a size either. I'm supposedly a 42 B (the B referring to the cup) but I'm not sure  I measured myself well? (I did my best). I have the impression my "boobs" are bigger than a B but it might be because of how they are not firm if you know what I mean. My body is so messy in general.

-Can I hurt myself in any way by binding with a binder in general?

I probably had more questions but I don't remember them at the moment. Thanks a lot for those who will answer.

[Adam (birkin)]

I am 5'4" and the heaviest I was was about 220 lbs. I personally found that the extra weight actually helped - I was able to get away with a sports bra most of the time and it looked like moobs. 20 lbs less and they still look mooby in a sports bra, but less so...so the weight might be a good thing, at least in the chest passing sense.

Binding does come with risks. Doing it safely can reduce the risk, but I have bound safely for 4 years and am starting to have some issues with chest pains and stuff. Honestly, had I known this, I'd have bound far less and started binding only when I was passing as male and relied on sports bras and stuff the rest of the time. If you can get surgery much sooner you could get away with binding for a while, I think, but no, it's not without its risks.

[em444]

Thanks a lot for your answer! I will try sports bra and see how that  goes, I hope to be as lucky as you have been in that department. I'm sad to hear you basically can't bind indefinitely? I hope to lose the weight someday which might make it harder to bind with a sports bra alone in the future...although I've noticed my chest does get smaller when I lose weight.

[verkatzt]

I wear the same bra size as you, and have the same issues about hot weather and tightness issues.  I really, really love my AIR M Pullover Short Chest Binder, which I got at lesloveboat.com.  (I'm not affiliated, just a very happy customer.)  I got a size 3XL and it fits perfectly, just as comfortable as a sports bra.  I wore them all summer and had no problems, but then that particular model is designed for breathability in hot weather.  The Underworks binders are just way, way too hot for subtropical weather.  they don't breathe at all.  I got one and it made me miserable even in springtime.

Hope this helps!

[em444]

Thanks a lot for your answer, I will definitely check the binder you mention out, I definitely need breatheability xD I'm glad to see we are the same size which makes it easier for me to have an idea of how it would work. Again, thank you very much

[verkatzt]

You're welcome!  They're pricey, but worth it IMO.  I'm about a foot taller than you are, but the chest sizes are the same so hopefully you'll find them as comfortable as I do. 

[Declan.]

When I was thinner, about 150 pounds and 5'7", passing was very difficult and getting flat was next to impossible. I'm close to 200 now and don't have as much trouble. I think the extra weight helps to be honest. I wear an Underworks small. I should be in a medium, but it doesn't work for me at all. Ah well. I don't think you'll have as much trouble as you think you will. I do have issues with some of my tissue coming out by my armpits so I wear structured shirts that hide it completely.

To answer your other questions from my point of view...

1) Binding + T will probably destroy your breast tissue. Certainly destroyed mine. I don't care. I don't want nice breasts, I want them off, so I'm not sure what you mean by preferring to have nice ones if you have to have them. I guess everyone's experience is different, but I can't say I have an answer for that.

2) You can hurt yourself by binding. I messed up my back and my lung capacity is extremely low now (even though I've never smoked). As with the effects of T and binding on breasts, I don't care. I'm very dysphoric about my chest and have no choice if I want to feel like I'm living a somewhat normal life. I don't recommend binding long-term if you don't plan on ever getting surgery. I've been doing it for a few years and I'm paying for it now.

3) If you wear a sports bra under a tank top under a shirt, you might be able to look flattish. Having extra weight on your stomach and waist will help.

4) Don't know how to measure. It's been so long, I don't remember.

5) I've heard you shouldn't bind every day too. I still do, and I sleep in one of my worn-out ones that's not too tight. The only time I don't bind is when I'm in the shower. So if you take it to the extreme I do, yeah, you're going to have some problems. Just wearing a binder outside the house shouldn't be too big of a deal, even every day, but don't take my word for it. If you work full-time and you're doing it 9 or 10 hours a day, that would definitely be different from wearing it for 3 or 4 hours every day.

I hope this answers some of your questions. Binding does have some cons, but if you need one to feel comfortable, the cons shouldn't matter, IMO. Just be safe, don't make the same mistakes I made (and continue to make), especially if you're young and still growing.

[em444]

Verkatzt: I checked the website out and they look great, will definitely give the one you mentioned a chance, again, thanks a lot .

DeclanQ: Thanks you so much for all the information and insight, it has been quite helpful!

Just to clarify, I want my breasts off too but I just don't think I'll be able to make it happen (not any time soon anyway) so what I meant was that if I had no way to get top surgery; if I was forced to keep my breasts and I had to be shirtless in front of the average cis straight person, I'd rather have a chest that looked nice to them then not, (considering that having breasts makes me disphoric enough as it is) because it would make everything even more embarrassing for me (I'm very shy and ashamed of everything in general).

I wonder, in which ways did you mess your back up? It's funny that you mentioned you never smoked because I've been smoking myself for around 12 years (I started at 12). I want to quit but my anxiety issues make it very hard to do so, and I was also wondering if I'd be able to smoke while binding or even work out or jump or run or so many other things.

Anyway, thank you both a lot!

[Declan.]

Verkatzt: I checked the website out and they look great, will definitely give the one you mentioned a chance, again, thanks a lot .

DeclanQ: Thanks you so much for all the information and insight, it has been quite helpful!

Just to clarify, I want my breasts off too but I just don't think I'll be able to make it happen (not any time soon anyway) so what I meant was that if I had no way to get top surgery; if I was forced to keep my breasts and I had to be shirtless in front of the average cis straight person, I'd rather have a chest that looked nice to them then not, (considering that having breasts makes me disphoric enough as it is) because it would make everything even more embarrassing for me (I'm very shy and ashamed of everything in general).

I wonder, in which ways did you mess your back up? It's funny that you mentioned you never smoked because I've been smoking myself for around 12 years (I started at 12). I want to quit but my anxiety issues make it very hard to do so, and I was also wondering if I'd be able to smoke while binding or even work out or jump or run or so many other things.

Anyway, thank you both a lot!

Only been shirtless in front of my partner once, and it was prior to transitioning quite some time ago. I can't really imagine a scenario in which you would have to be shirtless in front of someone. Maybe a doctor, but they've seen it all (and then some, lol).

Not really sure what's wrong with my back - it's just sore constantly. So is my ribcage. I mentioned smoking because that can decrease lung capacity as well. I personally wouldn't smoke and bind at the same time. They cause some of the same problems and you don't want to double your risk of complications. If you're smoking due to anxiety, you may have better luck quitting after starting testosterone. I was medicated for my anxiety until I went on testosterone. After a few months, I stopped having anxiety issues. From my experience, anxiety is much easier to deal with now and doesn't really affect me.

As for working out and binding, I can't because I can't take a full breath while I'm binding. As of the past couple of months, I can't breathe fully when I'm not binding, either. I did go a week without a binder (and stayed in the house since we both work from home, so that was possible for me) and it did not help my lungs at all, just bothered my back more. Whether or not you can work out in a binder really depends on your individual case.

My advice is to get a binder and go for it, see what happens. You'll never really have 100% of the answers until you start. But please be safe, especially if you don't think you can have top surgery anytime soon. Good luck.

[em444]

Thank you so much, you have been super helpful. I will do as you say and just go for it and see what happens.

[em444]

I already ordered my binder but since it will take a time to get here I also bought 2 sports bras. They dont make me flat but they make me feel a bit better about my chest anyway. My question is though: when people say you should put on the second sports bra "backwards" do they mean backwards as in inside-out, the back on fron, or upside down? English is not my native language so that bit is a bit confusing. I have been using it with the back side on front because it seemed to make sense but I have no idea xD. Thanks in advance.