dating

[Alexthecat]

So this cis guy at work says he wants my number once he gets his new phone. I'm assuming he likes me, though I can be dense sometimes. In previous convos I know he perceives me as female. If it comes to a first date should I just come out and say I'm trans? Then I wouldn't get my hopes up of someone liking me if he has an issue dating another guy. Though I am quite surprised as I'm the least girl looking person in the building. Least I think he likes me, he goes out of his way to get me things when I come in to work and always talks to me, the other guys just kind of walk by.

[sneakersjay]

I would just say, "You know I'm a guy, right?" and see what he says.  I never use the trans word regarding myself, except in trans forums online.

[Alexthecat]

Even while pre everything? I can imagine he would just be like "what" then I'd have to explain anyways.

[Mr.X]

It all depends on you. Would you be comfortable dating this person if he sees you as a female? If so, then there's no rush. If not, in order to be on the safe side and not get hurt/get really dysphoric about this, I'd say let him know you're a guy. Even pre-op. Your parts may not match the general view of what a guy is yet, but your mind is. And yes, this may raise questions, but it could be an opportunity to educate him a little. Who knows, he could be in to you being just you, regardless of what gender label would be attached.

[Natkat]

I did once go out with a guy where I said I made it clear I was a guy just by using male pronome on myself.
Certain jobs have this kind of gender-labed words I can't think of too many words in english, but like waitor/waitress, steward/stewardess, if you used this word pretty casually in a conversation I think he wont think too much about it, if he go like "arnt you a stewardess?" then he view you as female.

[Alexthecat]

Well it's not so much that he sees me as a guy it's that I just don't want him to assume I'm just a boy looking girl. Idunno I want to be fair to him somehow.

[Natkat]

Well it's not so much that he sees me as a guy it's that I just don't want him to assume I'm just a boy looking girl. Idunno I want to be fair to him somehow.

if you in a conversation make a statement like . "im the only male servent on the resturant" "im the oldest brother in the famely" bla bla bla, then he would probably get it.