Hi everyone,
I've come here at the urging of my partner and I hope I've come to the right place. I'm really nervous posting this. To be honest, I don't even know what to call myself. I'm biologically male, but while my cisgender female partner and all my cisgender friends all seem to have some sort of innate sense of their gender, I have nothing. My mom was an extremely anti-sex second-wave feminist and my father was a militant homophobe, and I grew up in a virulently anti-LGBTQ area of New York. I always knew I was different, even before I became the school ->-bleeped-<-got and I guess after being in the closet for so long and trying and trying for years and years to be what a man was "supposed" to be, I can't keep pretending. I don't really know what my genitals mean to me aside from being something I use to go to the bathroom. Whatever part of people that seems to "see" gender I guess I just don't have. I'm frightened and confused and I've spent most of my life convinced I was the only one who ever felt this way and that no one would ever understand so I had to change or else I'd failed at life. But I can't change. So I guess this is the next logical step. I don't even know where to begin, but maybe I can try and learn.
So uh, hi.
