Weary

[JenSquid]

I'm tired. So very tired.
I've been running on empty for awhile now, but just can't seem to catch a break.
I've been going non-stop for close to a year now. Right near the end of the semester, I came down with a bad chest cold (the symptoms were pretty flu-like), and was still sick going into finals. Before I even finished finals, I had work calling to find out when I was out of school to schedule me, and my father just had to tell my boss exactly when I got done. Consequently, I've had zero time off before going back to work, and I'm finding I can barely make it through the day. My schedule's pretty packed looking forward as well.

I'm snappy and irritable, and just feel drained. Over the weekend I felt so restless, yet had no energy for anything. I find myself feeling depressed a lot as of late. I want to cry.

There's also this feeling as if I need to keep charging forward because life won't permit me not to, yet I'm not sure what forward is at the moment. Right now therapy seems to be leaving me with more questions than answers. My therapist thinks I'm not so much transsexual as genderqueer, but that seems to leave the question of "what do I need to do?" even more nebulous than before. I know I need to do something, because things as they are are killing me, but I just don't know what at the moment. Really, though, I don't want to do anything right now. Just rest. If only I could.

I feel so weary.

[Jamie D]

Jen, when you run on empty for an extended period of time, there are all sorts of bad things that can happen - like getting sick because you immune system is taxed.

Find some down time.  And if that is hard, try some relaxation techniques like yoga or meditation, to help counter the stress.

And report back - I am concerned.

[Ms Grace]

It's no fun when life has you on the run all the time and, as Jamie says, it weakens your immune system and the whole thing cycles around again. I'm guessing you're going through winter too which doesn't help with health or spirits. Sometimes the problem is also exasperated by poor diet or lack of sleep and exercise. Since I don't know your exact situation I couldn't say but those are things possibly worth considering in addition to Jamie's suggestions. Be well soon! 

[Jasriella]

I'm going through a similar deal where I can't take care of things at home because I'm at work 12-16 hrs a day 6 days a week. I've been putting up with it for about a year and yeah it just goes and goes when the body and mind simply can't anymore.

I talked to a therapist and my family, and as great as my pay is, it's not worth not being able to be with my family because of work. My daughter is 2 years old now and she's nervous around me because I'm never home. So I'm looking for a new job. We all came to the same conclusion that my work is just too much and it's time I look for something else, and maybe that's something you might want to look into is a new job. I like my job and work with some great people but it's not worth not getting to live my own life.

[JenSquid]

I'm doing a bit better than I was a few weeks ago. I was able to get a few days off after Christmas which helped quite a bit. The past week or so has been pretty manageable, and the next few weeks look to be that way too. While I'm still in no condition to deal with any shocks, I am at least doing better than I was when I first created this thread. I'm making a point to take it easy right now.

Thank you all for the well wishes.

Also, Ms Grace,
It is SO winter here right now. It's been snowing non-stop for the past two days, and the whole region is under a severe cold-weather advisory. Tomorrow isn't expected to get above -6°F (-21°C).

[Ms Grace]

I'm very glad to hear you're feeling better! 

It is SO winter here right now. It's been snowing non-stop for the past two days, and the whole region is under a severe cold-weather advisory. Tomorrow isn't expected to get above -6°F (-21°C).

Wow! I can't even begin to imagine what that feels like. It might occasionally get to 0^oC overnight where I live in Sydney, but the coldest winter day maximum we had that I remember was a "sweltering" 12^oC in comparison.

[LordKAT]

and to think that tonight is expected to hit a low of -32C /-25F.

I really need to move as I hate the cold and snow and have a hard time even walking or standing up when it is cold.

[Jamie D]

Jen, I am glad you found some downtime.

I am going to try to get back into my regular meditation routines, and back into yoga, after not doing much the last half of 2013.  It was a difficult personal time, and I really needed to find the time for rest and relaxation - I didn't - and I suffered for it.