Explicit (NSFW) sex questions, 2 Weeks Post-op, full of excitement!

[Fidget]

Today I am 18 days post-op of stage 1 with Dr. Meltzer.  I. Am. Ecstatic.

TBH, I never thought I'd seek surgery, mainly for financial reasons, but I just have to say I'm already so happy I changed my mind.

Healing is going well, and dilation is not at all a problem, but I have a few questions about other women's experiences.

When I bumped from the 1 inch around dilator to the 2 inch one, Dr. Meltzer included a tapered 2 inch dilator to help bridge the gap.  The instructions call for moving it in and out to stretch out the muscles, and that's not a problem except that I'm getting very turned on.  It's been brutally difficult not having sex and this action isn't freaking helping.  When I am done dilating, and I pull out the full 2 inch dilator, I kindof spurt a fluid a little.  At first I thought it was just something like puss or something, but it's gotten more and more clear, and thinner.  Given that it only comes out once I remove the dilator, I think it's coming from inside my vagina.  Is this self lubrication?  The volume seems to be increasing, and I think it's linked to my level of arousal.

The following is pretty explicit, so if you don't want to read the sordid details of my sex life, turn back here.

Speaking of arousal, I mentioned how difficult it was to not have sex... well... I have been a little.  I've been cheating, having sex without penetration and being very gentle with my genitals.  On my 13th day post-op I was losing my mind I was so horny, so I very gently used my Hitachi (usually gentle and Hitachi are at odds, but I put stuff between my vagina and the vibrator, so it wasn't too rough) on my pubis and had the softest most warm and fuzzy orgasm I've ever had.  I haven't tried to have another for fear of doing damage, but Dr. Meltzer is telling me I shouldn't have any sex that involves my ->-bleeped-<- (or even masturbation!) for 3 months!  This is not happening.  This is not realistic.  Things got even more difficult last night when I went on a date with a guy I met on OKCupid and ended up having sex for like three hours.  We very studiously avoided my vagina, but I was absolutely leaving streaks of whatever the hell was coming out of my vagina on his sheets.  At most, I was sitting on hit chest sucking him off, and he was looking at my bits and asked if he could touch, so I said yes, but only gently, so he just felt my wetness a bit (AND DROVE ME CRAZY).  My question is this, it's extremely hard for me to ask super intimately sexual questions of my doctor/surgeon, and I wanted to know in some fairly fine-grained detail what activities and behaviors are actually dangerous to my vagina, and why.  What should I be on the watch for if I'm going to be a bit naughty and disobey the instructions and have some very gentle semi-genital sex?  Something like, would oral sex be OK if I had my sex partner use a dental damn (no fluid contact)?  How do I know when I've gone too far?  I'm rougher with the dilators than I intend to be with my sex partner's penis, is there no amount of penetration which would be safe?  Why?  Why is anal sex off limits?!?  I didn't have anal surgery!  Etc.

Anyway, thank you ahead of time!
<3




Edited for language

[calico]

I suppose I will be the first to reply,
    I want to take note that I find the word "->-bleeped-<-" offensive  sorry,, but I could never refer to my personal parts as such, it to me is a derogatory term used to describe women or their parts by male chauvinist's. That being said, you should pay heed to your surgeons instructions, I waited 4 months before having and PV intercourse,  as at about 3 months IMO is "just enough time" to heal. 2. concerning the back door, well that's awfully close to the front door so there is probable concern it may damage the "work that was done" again this is just my opinion and your dr will have the best answer.

[Jenna Marie]

The main risk at 2 weeks post-op is infection. This is why instructions often tell us to be scrupulously, ridiculously clean. Oral sex is... well, even if the guy is willing to go down on what is still basically a surgical site, the mouth is LOADED with bacteria. That's the likely reason for forbidding anal sex as well; even cis women are warned to be very, very careful about cross-contamination with the vagina, and they don't have to worry about life-threatening infections in open wounds. The second biggest risk is tearing something, and that's a huge fear b/c of the chance of fistula - another reason to avoid anal sex, as right *now* anything which puts pressure on the internal area between anus and vagina may cause a tear that can widen into a fistula.  Lastly, there is a small but non-zero chance of prolapse if too much stress is put on the vaginal canal.

On the bright side, what you did with the Hitachi is likely fine unless Meltzer gave you explicit explanations as to why not : you're not putting pressure on the area and you're not allowing direct contact between unsterilized items and your parts.

Man, at 2 weeks post I was barely able to look at it with all the swelling and leaking fluids and shedding skin and whatnot. I envy you.

[Fidget]

I suppose I will be the first to reply,
    I want to take note that I find the word "->-bleeped-<-" offensive  sorry,, but I could never refer to my personal parts as such, it to me is a derogatory term used to describe women or their parts by male chauvinist's.

Oh gosh... I'm so sorry. 

I use that word when I'm talking about the whole construct, vulva & vagina.  AFAIK, without using something absurdly clinical ("the surgical cite", etc.) this is the term I like best to refer to my genitals at large.  Occasionally "my bits" has just felt right for me referring to my own body.  I didn't mean to say anything about anyone else's body, and I'm really sorry to have offended you.

On the bright side, what you did with the Hitachi is likely fine unless Meltzer gave you explicit explanations as to why not : you're not putting pressure on the area and you're not allowing direct contact between unsterilized items and your parts.

Man, at 2 weeks post I was barely able to look at it with all the swelling and leaking fluids and shedding skin and whatnot. I envy you.

It's interesting, because I haven't had *any* swelling or bruising since last week.  The swelling was gone by day 8 or so, and the last bruise faded this weekend.  I haven't had any bleeding except when the doctors do stuff like remove stitches (or I press too hard with the Hitachi >_<) or any shedding skin (!!!! that happens?!) at all.  I'm pretty young (28) so I knew this would be relatively easy for me, but the timetables for healing seem waaay off (much faster) than anything I was warned about.  I'm very very grateful, but also just eager to stop thinking about all of it, just wanna have it done, finish the second stage and get back to work.  But standardized timeline has that set at 3 months, and I don't get to have sex either.  I was warned that given my age and disposition I would be particularly vulnerable to poor self-care and risk-taking in recovery, but it all seems so slow!!  I just want to be done with this, and it seems like these timetables were set up with someone else's body in mind. 

[Jenna Marie]

You do seem to be healing very, very fast! Lucky you. Since your recovery is not typical, it's certainly possible that neither should the typical rules apply to you...

Of course, I'd forgotten that you also had a two-stage surgery - the majority of the swelling and stitches for me were in the details of the vulva, so it sounds like it's much easier on the body to do it in two stages. (The shedding skin was little teeny bits, but all from internal spots where rearranged tissue healed up and the leftovers migrated out of the body.)

[V M]

Hi Fidget 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here

Please use proper medical terms such as vagina, penis, breasts in reference to the body

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Hugs

V M

[Beth Andrea]

I'd just be asking myself, "Is having this orgasm or penetrative sex worth having a fistula, or having to spend a few weeks in ICU while the docs repair a torn vaginal wall, or perhaps having to use part of the colon to repair it...and of course the healing time with that..?"

Be gentle with your genitals...give them time to heal per the doctor's orders...or at least consult with your doc, about either affirming that you're good-to-go, or taking a pill to reduce the arousals...

Very happy for you though! Just being cautious (pre-op, I am)

[Monaluv]

I was told to try and have sex at 6 weeks post op but did it at 5weeks but very gently Im now 2mths post op and still having sex its gotten better I do it atleast once a week and its much better if you do it right after dialating .... Ihave not been able to orgasm I just get very wet.. But I feel like Im also healing fast thnk goodness..!!!