Quote from: Berliegh on July 12, 2007, 04:58:58 AMI've turned up to a London NHS GIC clinic in a pink hoodie, Jeans, Pink and white trainers and no make up. I have my long blonde hair loose and no jewlery apart from a small ladies watch or earings. I am percieved as a genetiic female by people in the waiting room. The receptionists asks 'who are you here to see' and has no idea I am visiting the gender clinic.
That's wonderful! Wow!
QuoteI sit down face to face with patients who wear their clothes like a standard uniform (black skirt suit, heavy make up, red nail varnish and 2 inch court shoes) ......they are 'read' emmediately by staff and delivery workers and any 'real life test' wouldn't apply to them as the majority look like 'men in drag' and would possibly only find employment as a 'transperson'.....I then have to ask the question is this a real life test? It's almost like they have no perception of what a genetic female looks like and it's characterchure of what they think a woman should look like.
Maybe they wear heavy makeup because otherwise their beards would show, and then forget about presenting at all! Maybe the only way they can possibly present is with heavy makeup.
It seems like everyone
a) is blonde or with light-colored hair
b) does not wear makeup
b) couldn't pass as a boy if she tried.
I wonder-- am I the only one who has black hair? Because for me it's either makeup or forget about the whole thing. Laser has begun to help, but I still need a lot more. It will take about a year to complete, and then the electro starts... I started the poll about skin color because it seemed nearly everyone else is fair, I'm the only dark one. Ever get that feeling you've wandered into someone else's party by mistake?
Then I think there are probably a lot more who have difficulty passing than the very successful ones--but they don't post here.
And at times I've come across the opinion that "the only REAL transsexuals are those who already look like a girl without even trying and everybody else is nothing but a crummy man in a dress." You know this theory? Either J. Michael Bailey started spreading this idea or it was already being said on the street and Bailey just wrote it up.
I was going to write about the challenges with looks that I face in real life but on second thought, never mind. Why bring more pain on myself than I already have...
Melissa, you're not the one who should stop posting. I think I'm the one who needs to shut up because to be honest no way can my experiences come anywhere near what everyone else is sharing. Melissa, I didn't mean to attack you, honey, as a matter of fact I have been thinking a lot about the information you gave and trying to assimilate it, thank you for contributing.
So what am I doing trans then? Why do I have such undeniable feelings of my own womanhood and loathing for the maleness that has stigmatized my life until now? Why would I rather kill myself than go back to living as male? I don't know what this all means. Nothing makes sense any more.
I'm glad Susan's is such a nice place, because at another TG message board, when I started to feel suicidal out of frustration, they all got really mad at me and piled on to condemn me for saying that, which would make me feel a lot worse if I gave a danm about their opinions of me.
Then there's the helpful advice from young transitioners that someone like me who is beginning in her 40s should just give it up and go back to being male. Gee, thanks so much.
QuoteThere is a lot of truth in what you say Rachael regarding wearing men's clothes. I too look like a girl in men's clothes if I attempt wearing men's clothes, although it's a lomg time since I did it. It's like a white dot on a black background, the dull male clothes will highlight your femininity. People who wear overlty feminine clothes sometimes fall flat as the clothes work the other way and highlight the masculine feature's the person may have.
Well, granted that works for some individuals, but for others... it does not work. In fact, for the unlucky ones, nothing works!
QuoteI think you should basically wear female clothes at all times but wear what really works for you no matter if it's at a clinic appointment or not and you will look more feminine and feel more confident.
Hypothetical question: What if there were a woman who actually felt more confident in a skirt or dress? No, that never happens in real life, except I suppose for the wretched, self-deluded "man in a dress."
Quotethe concept of what a 'real life test' is all about and for me it's about appearing and being percieved as female in every situation..
Or in other words, "passing"... right? Maybe I was wrong all along, and passing is really what it's all about.
Quote from: mavieenrose on July 07, 2007, 04:23:44 PMActually your comment is really, really interesting as I've never looked to 'pass' as a woman in my life.
Passing to me sounds like acting, like trying to learn a role, like imitating.... and for me my sole aim was to no longer 'pass' as male.
It was about removing a layer, taking off a mask, it was certainly not about adding one...
I've always known I was female and quite frankly people who've known me since childhood always say I've stayed pretty much the same as I ever was (though much happier of course...)
Clearly we can only ever hope to fully understand our own personal experiences and motivations as we are all so different, and this is indeed why I would never dare claim to speak for others.
All I can say, is that for me the day my male name no longer made sense was the day I realised I broken out of my male prison, and the day I became 'full time' me.
Ma vie, honey, I'm a little confused here, please help me out. I have been rereading this post, but all I can see described is exactly the phenomenon that others call "passing." Have you redefined the meaning of "passing" to mean something other?
Anyway, sorry I bothered everyone.
