What does "full time" mean exactly?

[Hypatia]

Last year, when I first went to the endocrinologist preliminary to beginning HRT, he asked: "Are you full time?"

I said, "I'm not sure how to answer the question. I go to work every day as you see me now." I was wearing a plain fitted women's blouse, women's pants, women's flats, and minimal makeup. "I make no effort to present as male." (I didn't pass as female.) "I don't know if this answers your question?"

He said, "Yes, you answered it." But I never found out if the answer was yes or no! Anyway, he told me to give a blood sample and come back in 2 weeks for my hormones, and that was that.

I wear exclusively 100% women's clothes. I can't remember the last time I even wore a man's shirt, let alone any other male clothing, probably about a year ago.

Pluses:
When I go out anywhere but work, I wear skirts/dresses, bras, heels, feminine ruffly blouses, dangly earrings, more makeup, etc. The works. And I never go to the men's room. Ladies' room only. I use my girlname as much as possible: at the hair salon, transgender clinic, therapist, laser place, many businesses, meeting anyone new, etc. Got my public library account in my girlname too. I recently started laser beard removal and have begun to pass somewhat. Well, a little.

Minuses:
I haven't explicitly come out at work, although I have been obviously gender-variant for almost 2 years now. I came out to just one friend at work, who is very supportive. These days I go to work in women's pants, flats, plain blouses, no bra (just a cami underneath), stud earrings, women's bracelets and rings, and what I consider a modest amount of makeup. Unfortunately, not having explicitly come out at work yet, I have no choice but to grit my teeth and use the men's room there. It's the only men's room I go to. I still have my original name where necessary (work, driver's license, checking account, credit card) because I haven't gotten to the legal name change.

I have been very slowly, gradually, feminizing my entire life all this time. I still have quite a ways to go to complete transition. So at what point can I be considered "full time"? Is there a clear definition of the concept?

[Lisbeth]

There is not a single clear definition.  However, you should examine the Standards of Care and think about the clinical criteria used to evaluating real life experience.  Whether you are GRS-bound or not, you may want to think about these criteria in deciding whether you are full-time or not:

A critical item in this list is the ability to be employed or function as a student or a community-service volunteer. Anyone who cannot do at least one of these will be considered socially impaired. Trouble functioning in society is a contraindication that you can live successfully full-time. 

Many clinitians consider a legal Name change to be a critical indicator of a true RLE. This is not to say that when legal authorities deny a name change, the RLE would be invalidated. Clinicians should take social prejudice into account when determining whether a legal change is needed. Nevertheless, some therapists count the legal name change as the marker indicating the start of RLE.

An important criterion is to show that people other than the therapist know that you are living in the desired gender role. Being "full-time in your head" is not acceptable for RLE. Driver's license, business cards, credit cards, and checkbook in the correctly gendered name are one form of evidence for this. Many therapists will also observe how you are dressed with you arrive for appointments.

If you dressing full-time at work but they don't know that you identify as female, then it is questionable whether you are full-time or part-time.

You are where I was 6 years ago.  I couldn't honestly identify as full-time until I told the IT Director that it was time to "do something about this 'Bob' thing."  And she was very accodating through the process.

[Hypatia]

Wait-- Is "full time" synonymous with "RLE"? This isn't clear to me. How do you define when "RLE" begins, anyway?

I function in society quite happily as a woman, in fact I would feel uncomfortable if I couldn't present female.

I see some trans people referring to their "boy mode" and "girl mode." I long ago ditched "boy mode" entirely. Now I have only "girl mode"-- of greater or lesser femme intensity, depending on circumstances. But if name change is the criterion, I need a lot more preparation first. See why I'm confused?

[Nero]

This question always leaves a sour taste in my mouth.
Well, seeing as I'm constantly informed that my years dressing as male, using a male name, etc count for absolutely nothing by guys fortunate enough not to have a pretty face and soft voice - I'd say it's when you pass as your target gender. As you can tell, I'm really annoyed at being told this over and over by a guy who only a month ago was wearing skirts.

[Hypatia]

Lisbeth, I have been told differently in a PM, that consistent use of target-gender restrooms is a major criterion for "full time."

Many therapists will also observe how you are dressed with you arrive for appointments.

I don't see how that would prove anything. A girl could dress only for therapist appointments if all she wanted to do was convince the therapist. In fact, I've heard of girls who do exactly that, those who generally prefer boy-clothes and point to all the GGs out there who go around in boy-clothes all the time and never have their gender questioned. As a criterion, I have to rate this one as baloney.

If you define "full time in your head" as not having a name change on the DL yet, well that is an exacting standard. But my 24/7 100% female presentation is more than just "in my head," darling. It's objectively obvious.

Nero, I question whether "passing" could count as a criterion either. Plenty of trans people don't pass all that well but have gotten the name change, F on the DL, and all that. Besides, look how many of us--most of us--pass part of the time but not all of the time. Would you set the cutoff at passing 50% of the time? How is this measured? You can't poll everyone you walk by on the street. How is "passing" defined? If it's just a quick glance from a distance? Intense scrutiny from up close? Visual even if not vocal? "Passing" is such a slippery concept. "Passing" is kind of a sore point for many of us, best not emphasize it...

I'm pretty sure I have recently begun to pass a little. Which is a huge improvement, I never did before. One thing I can tell you is, I have been using ladies' rooms for over 2 years and have never been challenged once. Would that factor in somehow?

[Lisbeth]

Wait-- Is "full time" synonymous with "RLE"? This isn't clear to me. How do you define when "RLE" begins, anyway?

No, it's not, but I don't see you can be full-time without meeting most of the criteria for RLE.

Lisbeth, I have been told differently in a PM, that consistent use of target-gender restrooms is a major criterion for "full time."

That would make sense to me, but it's not included in the SoC.

Many therapists will also observe how you are dressed with you arrive for appointments.

I don't see how that would prove anything. A girl could dress only for therapist appointments if all she wanted to do was convince the therapist. In fact, I've heard of girls who do exactly that, those who generally prefer boy-clothes and point to all the GGs out there who go around in boy-clothes all the time and never have their gender questioned. As a criterion, I have to rate this one as baloney.

You're absolutely right, and that can make a therapist's job more difficult.

If you define "full time in your head" as not having a name change on the DL yet, well that is an exacting standard.

I do not define it that way.  I think you misunderstood me.  You need to look at the sentence in front of it: "An important criterion is to show that people other than the therapist know that you are living in the desired gender role."  If nobody but you knows, then you ain't full-time.

[Wendy]

Hypatia,

I very much appreciate that a standard of care exists and your therapist is being prudent.

However it appears the greatest marker if you are ready or not is if you consider yourself a female or not.

There are cisgender females that dress masculine so that I am not sure if wearing a dress makes you a female.

In addition it is prudent to take some safeguards to protect your livelihood.  Many employers are not flexible and many states only give lip service for "employee rights".  You can be "downsized" for any reason.
...............

Hyperia if you feel comfortable as a woman and you prefer to be viewed as a woman that speaks volumes!

Ask the endocrinologist on your next visit if you have qualified for "x" months as living as a woman while under their care.

Thanks for your thread.

[Rachael]

Well RLE is a set period of ft by the gender services, to identify your suitability to live as your chosen gender, ft is just living as your your chosen gender, ie, presenting as female, and correcting incorect pronouns.

Im wearing all womens clothes as i type here at the uni it center. Jeans, hoodie, a vest top and correct undies. but my GIC wouldnt consider this FT. apparently to be full time as a woman, i must wear Makeup and a skirt or dress at all times, as all natal females do this apparently *cough* also, i physicall cant be anything but ft, as it takes more  effort to pass as male for me. id have to bind, cut my hair, and transition like a f2m to pass. heck, as a joke the other day i wore my old school suit and tie and my housemate told me i looked like a drag king, i couldnt pass in mens clothes, so is that FT? i dont know, not officially. but physically it is. Definitions are fluid.

[Buffy]

24/7 not a minute less.

Buffy

[Rachael]

lol, was wondering when someone would say that.

o/*\o buffy

[Wendy]

...Im wearing all womens clothes as i type here at the uni it center. Jeans, hoodie, a vest top and correct undies. but my GIC wouldnt consider this FT. apparently to be full time as a woman, i must wear Makeup and a skirt or dress at all times, as all natal females do this apparently *cough* ...

I guess a MTF must be more feminine than a cisgender female to be full time.  By the way the most significant cisgender females in my life (wife, mom, and sister) do not wear a lot of makeup and I consider them very beautiful. 

[Kate]

I once asked my therapist, "So what do you consider fulltime?"

"Pick a date. I'll mark it down here as when you went fulltime," she replied.

That really caught be by surprise, lol. "Wait, shouldn't you tell ME when I qualified for it?"

"Pick a date. YOU tell ME. Last week? Today? What would you like?"

And I realized what she was doing. Only *I* really, really knew when I was fulltime. I wanted a criteria I could use, standards I could meet to buy a label rather than LIVE it. Putting the responsibility squarely on my shoulders showed me once again how this is something I need to BE, not just DO.

To answer for that for yourself I think you need to ask, "Am I living the way I want to now? Or are there still places and situations where I'm hiding?"

~Kate~

[Lisbeth]

Im wearing all womens clothes as i type here at the uni it center. Jeans, hoodie, a vest top and correct undies. but my GIC wouldnt consider this FT. apparently to be full time as a woman, i must wear Makeup and a skirt or dress at all times, as all natal females do this apparently *cough* also, i physicall cant be anything but ft, as it takes more  effort to pass as male for me. id have to bind, cut my hair, and transition like a f2m to pass. heck, as a joke the other day i wore my old school suit and tie and my housemate told me i looked like a drag king, i couldnt pass in mens clothes, so is that FT? i dont know, not officially. but physically it is. Definitions are fluid.

Yes, well I'm wearing capris, a tank top, and flats with no makeup.  I am full-time.  I could give a rip what any therapist says.

And I realized what she was doing. Only *I* really, really knew when I was fulltime. I wanted a criteria I could use, standards I could meet to buy a label rather than LIVE it. Putting the responsibility squarely on my shoulders showed me once again how this is something I need to BE, not just DO.

To answer for that for yourself I think you need to ask, "Am I living the way I want to now? Or are there still places and situations where I'm hiding?"

You grok it, Kate.

[Rachael]

...Im wearing all womens clothes as i type here at the uni it center. Jeans, hoodie, a vest top and correct undies. but my GIC wouldnt consider this FT. apparently to be full time as a woman, i must wear Makeup and a skirt or dress at all times, as all natal females do this apparently *cough* ...

I guess a MTF must be more feminine than a cisgender female to be full time.  By the way the most significant cisgender females in my life (wife, mom, and sister) do not wear a lot of makeup and I consider them very beautiful. 

er, no cheers, im being me, not what others want, and i dont give a crap if a therapist doenst consider me feminine enough, my GIC in sheffield basically says to be treated, one must wear a skirt or dress, and wear makeup to be considered that you are putting effort into your transition.
so i have to put effort into looking like i do with no effort? okay...

[Melissa]

You may want to take a look at this thread: What constitutes 'fulltime'?

By the way, I was living as a female everywhere except work and even wearing female clothes at work, using a unisex restroom, but going by a male name.  For that last reason in particular, I still consider that as living parttime.  In 2 days, I'll have officially been fulltime for 1 year. Yayness!

[Steph]

Full time is living and breathing in the preferred gender 24/7/365 in every way, shape, and form that includes what goes on inside the home.  Anything less is a copout and you're just fooling yourself.

Steph

[Melissa]

If you need to question whether what you are doing counts as fulltime or not, then you are definitely not fulltime.

[Kate]

If you need to question whether what you are doing counts as fulltime or not, then you are definitely not fulltime.

Which is exactly what my therapist was trying to tell me

~Kate~

[Hypatia]

Hypatia,

I very much appreciate that a standard of care exists and your therapist is being prudent.

Sorry... Not sure what you're referring to. I mentioned my therapist only in passing, among a list of situations where I'm explicitly out fulltime. But I have not actually raised this question with my therapist yet. I was thinking I would ask it the next time I see him.

Well RLE is a set period of ft by the gender services

Gender services? Is that a British government thing? We don't really have any gender services as such here in America that I know of. For my endocrinology I go to the Whitman-Walker Clinic in Washington DC, which is a clinic established mainly for gay and lesbian patients (and now that they've taken over the patients of the defunct Free Clinic, they have lots of low-income cisgendered straights too). It includes a transgender clinic, and I get nothing there but HRT and bloodwork. As far as I can tell, they could give a toss what "full time" means--my former therapist referred me, that's the only thing that counts. Whatever way I choose to define myself, if I want the HRT, they'll supply it and that's that. My therapist has no connection with the clinic, he's part of a Presbyterian counseling ministry that handles all sorts of life issues, not specifically trans. These things are all privately owned--that's the USA for you. So the concept of "full time" is left vague and not stressed much, within my limited experience.

I wear skirts and heels and carry a purse whenever I visit my therapist, but again, he could give a toss either way-- the only reason I dress that way is because I like to dress that way all the time, not because anyone expects me to. Au contraire-- most American trans women think I'm a silly twit because I prefer being feminine of my own volition. If I get any pressure at all in this scene, it's pressure to be less feminine.

"Pick a date. YOU tell ME. Last week? Today? What would you like?"

And I realized what she was doing. Only *I* really, really knew when I was fulltime.

Ahhh, thank you, Kate! That's what I like to hear. Having one's self-definition respected.

To answer for that for yourself I think you need to ask, "Am I living the way I want to now? Or are there still places and situations where I'm hiding?"

Hmm, good question...
I am hiding nowhere. I'm out to my family. I'm openly femme at work. I mean, I'm walking around at work every day in a tight, fitted blouse with my obvious *BREASTS* out where no one can ignore them. I wear a dress and use the ladies' room everywhere except at work. The public library changed my account to my girlname. The only reason I haven't done the namechange, SRS, transition on the job, and all that yet is because I need more time to prepare, like completing my laser and electrolysis first... also because I hate to get divorced... so I'm not hiding at all. I just need more lead time to take the whole kaboodle all the way to completion. I'm going to ask my therapist, if I requested the SRS letter right now, would he give it? Or make me do anything more than what I've done? I've been seeing him for a whole year now.

I was living as a female everywhere except work and even wearing female clothes at work, using a unisex restroom, but going by a male name.  For that last reason in particular, I still consider that as living parttime.

Uh... so I guess for me that means "no," huh...

Well, it stands to reason that people who have completed everything would set the bar higher, while those of us who still have a ways to go would prefer a looser definition.

[Elizabeth]

I know there are many definitions of what "full time" means and I won't deny any of them. I guess that is for each person to decide for themselves. For me it means the moment one gives up living their pretend life and starts living as the person they truly are, for every minute of every day. It has nothing to do with how one is dressed, or makeup, or hormones or surgery. It has to do with no longer hiding who we are for the benefit of others.

Love always,
Elizabeth