Hey people! I'm AidenSpinks, or Aiden for short. I'm from Singapore, and I'm 25 years old this year (or what's left of it).
I actually used to think I was genderqueer and bigender, but am grappling with the fact that I could quite possibly be a transgender man. I have since cut my hair really short, am now wearing men's clothes, and next year, plan to officially change my name to Aiden.
I don't actually have gender dysphoria... just a general dysphoria or social dysphoria I think. It was this year that I started realizing that I wasn't heterosexual but rather panromantic asexual, and I'm now realising that I can no longer consider myself cis-female, which was what I thought I was until this year. It was never something I was comfortable with, and I always got this sense that I was acting a role, and it pushed me to be strongly introverted. It became painful to socialise, but strangely enough, ever since I started wearing men's clothes and keeping my hair short, I've actually started enjoying hanging out with people again. It's still tiring and I still consider myself an introvert, but it's a lot more enjoyable.
But now, it's come to the point where I'm actually dreaming of being someone's husband and being referred to as Mr, he and him. I'm not sure whether this would be possible but I sure would like it to be. I'm also feeling kind of lost right now because there are a lot of resources for transgender women, but not much for transgender men, and I don't really have strong role models to follow. And I'm also struggling with how to reconcile my Christian faith with being a man with a woman's body.
That's actually why I joined this forum; I know I'm not the only one struggling with issues (though it sure feels like it at times) and I'd like to connect with other people with similar experiences. And hopefully grow to become the man I visualise myself to be.
