THE BIG o

[Tori]

So...

Er...

I feared losing my sex drive before I started HRT. Yup, it fell like a rock. I don't miss it. I thought I would. I don't. Turns out you do not miss what you do not obsess over.

That said, for the sake of science, I do (insert your own euphemism here... my favorite: "Slap the Bishop") every so often, compared with multiple times per day before HRT, I have really cut back. Even when I do, it is not so much desire, rather than curiosity that drives me. I can orgasm, about as quickly as before if I wish, although now I do enjoy taking my time.

You see, I have always been looking for that magic pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, ie: the female orgasm. I envy the concept of multiple orgasms, I envy the concept of full body sensation. I know my nerves are not female, down there... yet I have heard reports from others of great success.

One time, and one time only, I felt something new, different, better than before. I have no clue what I did right, at least I know it is in there... Somewhere... and something new seems to be building within me.

I know we have a forum where this type of discussion is encouraged but it is hidden and pay only. Sexuality is not nasty, nor does it need to be hidden, it is a very common part of the human condition. If we keep this thread clean, I suspect it will be allowed.

Help. This is an odd place for me. I did not anticipate it. I am beginning to see why many females have trouble with the big O. I am very sexual between the ears, and now my body does not exactly play along.

Things have changed.

Nipples!

Chocolate chills!

Tickles are now awesome!!!

I ask this... actually, have I really asked a question? Until now?

I mention this, to give us a place to vent and help. I need help here. I knew I would give up my sex drive. I did not sign up to give up my orgasm. If a male orgasm is better than a MTF orgasm, OK... I will live... but that is not what was advertised.

How does one go from Jack to Jill?

THERE! A real question. Finally!

[stephaniec]

I'm not sure but from what I read in the section from post opts on Susan's that they can get better. I'm pre opt, but I totally like my orgasms better on HRT. It takes longer to get there . but to me they feel better. The same nerves are kept intact.   And the same delivery system is involve. I just find the estrogen is letting me experience the orgasm in a slightly different sensory way.

[Tori]

Cool.

I have not had sex with my wife since I started HRT. We both want it! Perhaps more than ever.

Perhaps my problem is trying to sneak one in... Guy habits die hard... or soft, in my case.

[stephaniec]

Yea. go for it . It's feels too good to let it go

[livinit]

All of those same things happened to me:

"fell like a rock. I don't miss it. I thought I would. I don't....it is not so much desire, rather than curiosity that drives me. I can orgasm, about as quickly as before if I wish, although now I do enjoy taking my time....

>>Nipples!

>>Chocolate chills!

>>Tickles are now awesome!!!"

I might be wrong, but I feel that hormones just changed my sexual response ~ they didn't void it. It sure is great to have the ability just walk away from sex whenever I want to.

[MadelineB]

Every girl has to learn (or relearn) what works for her. As a starter I would suggest:
1. Set aside some quality time when you won't be tired, rushed, or stressed.
2. Set the mood with music and scents.
3. Consider massage or a warm bath to relax you and make you aware of how your body feels, especially your skin.
4. warm soft lighting- candlelight or fireplace or a sunset.
5. Wear something comfortable and silky.
6. Use your imagination. Feel yourself completely loved, valued, and desired.
7. Discard the old names for things and touch a woman's passion through a woman's skin.
8. Don't drive straight for the privates. In the woman's army, the general and the corporeal is where it is at.
9. Imagine and feel yourself part of your own spontaneous scene.
10. When you are completely spent and satisfied, remember how it felt.

[JLT1]

Every girl has to learn (or relearn) what works for her. As a starter I would suggest:
1. Set aside some quality time when you won't be tired, rushed, or stressed.
2. Set the mood with music and scents.
3. Consider massage or a warm bath to relax you and make you aware of how your body feels, especially your skin.
4. warm soft lighting- candlelight or fireplace or a sunset.
5. Wear something comfortable and silky.
6. Use your imagination. Feel yourself completely loved, valued, and desired.
7. Discard the old names for things and touch a woman's passion through a woman's skin.
8. Don't drive straight for the privates. In the woman's army, the general and the corporeal is where it is at.
9. Imagine and feel yourself part of your own spontaneous scene.
10. When you are completely spent and satisfied, remember how it felt.

Yep. 

The feeling is way better. 

Hugs,

Jen

[Jennygirl]

Try multiple orgasms sometime while (..insert euphemism..), you might shock yourself with how easy it becomes having nothing to ejaculate.

My record so far is 4 in a row.

Reaching climax from the mere pressing of bodies was the real game changer for me, though. That came (lol) with copious amounts of love for the other party involved and a symphony of emotions simultaneously. It very recently happened for me, and has really opened my mind to what is possible with estrogen therapy and transition.

[Tori]

Try multiple orgasms sometime while (..insert euphemism..), you might shock yourself with how easy it becomes having nothing to ejaculate.

My record so far is 4 in a row.

Reaching climax from the mere pressing of bodies was the real game changer for me, though. That came (lol) with copious amounts of love for the other party involved and a symphony of emotions simultaneously. It very recently happened for me, and has really opened my mind to what is possible with estrogen therapy and transition.

Cool...



So nobody can explain this?

[suzifrommd]

How does one go from Jack to Jill?

I had my first female orgasm the day after I started estradiol. It just happened. Once I got on spiro, all vestiges of the male orgasm went.

The differences are that I feel the female orgasm with my body. My genital area, while originating the orgasm, isn't a major part of the sensation. It is more difficult to reach. It requires intense mental arousal. And it is an Event. When I climax as a female, I feel a glow for days.

But Tori, everyone experiences orgasm differently. By its very definition, you can't control what kind of orgasm you have. No orgasm is better or worse than others. Can you enjoy the gift that your body gives you as is without feeling it needs to be improved upon?

[anjaq]

I have had one single time when I had a 2-in a row multiple orgasm - but that was it. However the full body sensation is immense with me. And for me really, HT was the start to change things a lot, SRS was a gamechanger though. BUT, that said - a lot of it really is in the mind. If I could get my mind around it even pre-op, not going by the looks but by a feel of how it should be, treat myself feminine - you know, make things up, be gentle, create a great atmosphere, drop the penetration or rubbing game for now - that really did a lot of wonders for me, it allowed my mind to perceive this act as something feminine and basically simulate in my head how it should feel like if there was not that different shape present now. In the end, all these sensations are similar, but just differently located and experienced in a different way.

[Tori]

But Tori, everyone experiences orgasm differently. By its very definition, you can't control what kind of orgasm you have. No orgasm is better or worse than others. Can you enjoy the gift that your body gives you as is without feeling it needs to be improved upon?

Well, I disagree about no orgasm being better or worse than others. As HRT seems to have caused a change for the lesser in me, at least so far. But practice makes perfect.

I suspect, by going about it in a "male" way, I have limited my response.

Some of the advice given in here is inspiring. I have some new ideas. I'd like to say, "I will let you all know how it goes." but I may not. It was embarrassing enough to make this thread in the first place.

Orgasm is important to me. SRS is a concern because of my desire to remain sensate. Figuring out the female orgasm seems like one of those things I can do to have a successful transition in my brain.

It is just one of those things. It is not a deal breaker... but I was hoping it would be a perk.

[livinit]

Well, I disagree about no orgasm being better or worse than others. As HRT seems to have caused a change for the lesser in me, at least so far. But practice makes perfect.

I suspect, by going about it in a "male" way, I have limited my response.

I agree..some of mine are breathtaking..others are like wtf was that? And that all depends on my approach. I've been doing it differently ~ experimenting with several ways..and I get different responses each way.

Orgasm is important to me. SRS is a concern because of my desire to remain sensate.

From my research..many of the popular GCS surgeons (penile inversion or not) are able make sensate and orgasmic neo-v's. I'm not going to say it's a given..because that also depends on how your sex response was pre-op. But I've understood that if you 'were' before..you 'will be' again later, once the nerves and wiring has all been re-mapped to the newly healed areas.

Hope this helps!

[stephaniec]

I agree..some of mine are breathtaking..others are like wtf was that? And that all depends on my approach. I've been doing it differently ~ experimenting with several ways..and I get different responses each way.

From my research..many of the popular GCS surgeons (penile inversion or not) are able make sensate and orgasmic neo-v's. I'm not going to say it's a given..because that also depends on how your sex response was pre-op. But I've understood that if you 'were' before..you 'will be' again later, once the nerves and wiring has all been re-mapped to the newly healed areas.

Hope this helps!

I don't know if this is approaching multiple orgasms or not, but lately I've sensed wave like patterns beginning in my orgasms. You just have to take your time and not be wham bam thank you

[JLT1]

I don't know if this is approaching multiple orgasms or not, but lately I've sensed wave like patterns beginning in my orgasms. You just have to take your time and not be wham bam thank you

I've manged a double a few times.  Some are wonderful, some are rather so-so.  I also started to get wave patterns but for me, that is either different or weak multiples.  Regardless, they are so much better now.

Hugs,

Jen

[Tori]

I will say, the increase in my body's sensitivity is quite cool. I am surprised that the most sensitive part of me seems less so when everything else...

[suzifrommd]

I will say, the increase in my body's sensitivity is quite cool. I am surprised that the most sensitive part of me seems less so when everything else...

Well, this what I've found too. That my genitals are much less sensitive. In terms of sensation, my orgasms don't "feel" as good.

But they are more intense emotionally, if that makes sense.

Part of it may be that I am so thrilled to be able experience female sexual release that the overwhelming emotion is to be thankful.

If there were concern whether it's the right kind or whether it's happening in the right way, I think that would darn near ruin it for me.

So maybe what I'm suggesting is to do what feels good and natural and not worry whether you're doing this in a female or a male way.

I remember I once had a girlfriend with whom we would do this together. I always found in fascinating that, despite the fact that I was having a male experience and she was having a female experience, our body motions were exactly the same.

[Catherine Sarah]

Tori,

Do yourself a favour and get yourself a copy of "For Yourself. The fulfillment of female sexuality." By Lonnie Barbach PhD. Available through Amazon, Book Depositary etc.

A very practical guide to what you're seeking. Madeline eluded to some of the techniques in achieving the outcome.

Huggs
Catherine 

[Shantel]

Cis males are driven, it's just a physical urge with very little emotion if any, reaching an orgasm is the goal and is just like drag racing with very little warm up and once you're through the traps at the end of the quarter mile it's all over.

Cis women don't initially have that kind of intense physical urge up front and starts in their emotional center in the brain after a long emotion filled warm up session they are ready to engage in sex and it usually takes some time to reach climax which can indeed become extended and in multiple waves unlike a male.

MtF's on HRT begin to experience a waning male drive and in time it is supplanted by the onset of real feminine emotions, perhaps this is the first time an individual discovers this new dynamic of actually having an emotional self. Some deny that they are sexual beings and insist they are asexual, unfortunately this is simply a means of suppressing one's self from experiencing the full potential of female sexuality.

[Tori]

Well. Suzy, Catherine Sarah and Shantel, I do appreciate the input. It also seems a consensus is forming. Emotions, foreplay and taking your time seem key.

I have not done any experimenting since this thread began, so no updates from me.

Emotions are kinda' hard to wrap my head around in this context. Yes, I am an emotional person, was one HRT, remain one to this day. Yes I have noticed a slight change in certain emotional responses, some responses are quite physical like crying over the smallest thing, or the surprising buzz in the pit of my stomach when I see someone jump off a diving board. Weeeeeee!

I also am more open to feelings of Joy. Amazing how capacity can change when dysphoric bouts are quelled.

I may be going at this a bit too soon, as my sensitivity, emotional and physical, is still migrating away from T and towards E. Without actual experience, the concept of an emotional orgasm is well, conceptual.

Yet another point in my transition where my respect for women deepens. The next time someone asks me why I am transitioning, as if women are lesser than men, my reply may just be, "Because women are badass!"

Catherine Sarah, I will find that book. Huge thanks!