G'day. Long time reader, first time poster.
I'll stick with the nick of Solare for the time being. I'm still sorta coming to terms with maybe being trans.. I'm a 27yr old male. Its only in the last couple years I've started thinking about it, that I'm perhaps in the wrong body. It was also around the same time I discovered that you can actually get surgery (I never researched it. I thought id just have to suffer through).
For the longest time, I've played female characters on games (FFXI for 10yrs, so far playing FFXIV) and it always makes me happy. It was only just recently I've discovered that when I drive past women on the street. Its not that I need to do what men do best. Its that I'm sorta jealous that women get to wear what they do. All those colors. Peircings. Dress. Skirts. ETC.
I remember dressing up in my mothers clothing when I was younger. Or trying to make a skirt outa pants (At 12yrs old.. It doesn't work). Or wearing pads that I took from my step sister. Makes it harder again that I was actually supposed to be born female. The whole way through the pregnancy, mum was told I was a girl. I was to be called Teagen.
I've tried to surround myself with blokey stuff. Go mountain biking. Work on cars. I'm married with kids (Which is harder again..) My wife doesn't know. I think she caught me 6 months ago with trans stuff in my history, and pulled me up about it, but I denied it (as I'm sure we all do) Sorta sad that I feel I'll never be a female. I feel my shoulders are too broad. I look too blokey (Bar the lack of sideburns, and the inability to grow facial hair minus the splotches)
Im still coming to terms with this. This is the first time I've said anything at all.. My wife doesn't know. I dont know what to do :/ Figured here is a good place to read up.
