Dealing with rude / hateful people

[brianna1016]

When someone is acting mean and saying hateful things towards me simply because I am transgender:

It's not my problem, it's theirs.
I have the upper hand. They feel threatened by me or they wouldn't have gone out of their way to act the way they did.
They are afraid of what they don't understand.
They have low self esteem and have chosen to pick on me in order to make themselves feel better.
I don't conform to their version of reality, I have made them think about something new, and they'd rather not have to.
They might be transgender as well, in denial about it, and trying to compensate for it.
They are ignorant and must compare me with negative media stereotypes.

[Jessica Merriman]

Have you been in Tibet on a mountaintop meditating lately? Because this is good and deeply philosophical. I love it! 

[svaso]

I feel it has a lot to do with the hateful person's jealousy.  Were happy and they just can't handle that, because they aren't happy with themselves.  Otherwise, our lives would not be that much of a concern to them.

[brianna1016]

I feel it has a lot to do with the hateful person's jealousy.  Were happy and they just can't handle that, because they aren't happy with themselves.  Otherwise, our lives would not be that much of a concern to them.

Yes! That is very very true!

[Jessica Merriman]

I don't know why people are offended by us at all. With HRT, FFS, VFS and SRS we stimulate the economy! 

[suzifrommd]

I wonder what they're really unhappy about. Is it that I was born transgender (I can't help that) or that I decided to do something about it (well I couldn't just sit still and spiral into an abyss of dark feelings, could I)?

With that thought I usually chalk it up to ignorance. If they really understand that it isn't something we choose, and that doing nothing about it can very literally drive us crazy, I'd like to believe some of them might be more compassionate.

[Tori]

Have you been in Tibet on a mountaintop meditating lately? Because this is good and deeply philosophical. I love it! 

When I lived in NYC, I once stopped into a shop for a slice of pizza... I was in a rush (going from one job to the next) so, I tried to stuff it into my face as fast as I could. That is when I heard my train coming. Half eaten slice in hand, I rushed down the stairs and without a second to spare, boarded the subway.

I started eating again.

There was only one other person on the car, a forty something woman. She looked at me with disgust, let out a loud sigh and said like only a New Yorker can, "You can't eat on the train!"

While, technically she had a point. Eating on a train was against the rules. I was proving her wrong by doing just that: eating on a train. It is the only time I can remember breaking this rule, it kind of just happened. I did not intend to.

I looked at her, noticed a book in her hands, "The History of the Buddha", and with my mouth full replied, "So, you're reading about Buddha?".

Realizing, I had caught her red handed, as her actions were far from Zen, she turned bright red, and let me finish my slice in peace.

The End

Why do I tell this story? Because, often enough, those who try to enforce the moral high ground are quite far from it. Do not let it bring you down. It does say more about them than it does about you.

[amZo]

An older lady once refused service to me at the checkout of a department store, I went to the next register and a very sweet young girl assisted me. Quite often, being trans is simply the most potent pest control available.

[Joanna Dark]

do y'all really receive this much flack, like refusal of service and such? People are so much more nice to me it's like night and day. Perhaps you are mistaking rudeness for transphobia. Maybe some of these slights had nothing to do with transness. I mean people talk of losing friends (which is horrible) but I have triple the amount of friends, a BF and some cute guy even caught me nd kept me from slipping on the ice. He even called me babe.  I'm sorry ur experiences are like this but other times trnsition goes the other way and ur life becomes epherel and dreamy. Socially my life has never been this good.

[Tori]

It depends on where you are. Who you are. Who you know. How you present.

So far, my issues have been minimal.

[Ltl89]

I haven't dealt with this from strangers.  It's my hope to avoid situations like this as much as possible.  Whether that's realistic or not, is another thing.  To be honest, I just can't handle conflict and don't like dealing with mean people.  I'd probably break down and cry if someone verbally insulted me for being trans.  While it's pathetic that I am this weak, I'm not going to lie and say that I have this huge sense of inner strength.  I suppose I better start preparing more for this. 

Then again, there was a recent situation where I got ewwed at and I've been getting some confused stares nowadays.  In these cases, I just uncomfortably go about my business hoping like hell to soon be out of the situation. 

[Allyda]

It depends on where you are. Who you are. Who you know. How you present.

So far, my issues have been minimal.

Same here. In fact I've even made some new friends since I decided to live as who I am instead of trying to be something I'm not. I get treated better in stores, resturants, etc., even though I own a bass boat, love to be out on the water fishing, and drive a big Dodge 4x4 truck (I love my truck cause people move out of my way, lol!). I also like to wear anything pink or purple, cute shoes, and my 4 cats. I scoff at stereotypes though as I believe in being happy. As for what anyone else thinks? Let me see if I can answer this nicely, -not! -in other words if someone is so insecure with themselves that they have to put others down for being who they are and happy, I have no use for them. However, where I live anyway I don't seem to have the problems mentioned by some above. I'm usually accepted as a woman wherever I go even in sweats and a tank with a jacket like I'm dressed today. Hey it's cold outside even for Florida and I looove comfy clothes when it's cold.