First steps towards MtF?

[ClariWithStockings]

I'm not exactly sure where to start. I mean. For a while now, I haven't really done much. I'm referred to as a woman, and if by name, "Clarice, online." I've done nothing in person though, and, honestly, I'm getting tired of it. I want to live how I want to live, and would like for some help.

I tried talking to my mom, about a year ago, or so. She didn't show any super-negative reactions, as she said me she'd always love me. She just said she would rather wait until I'm out of the house, or a bit older. I really would like to do things, now.. The dysphoria is getting real worse, lately. The only female-related things I own right now, is one night gown, and some Halloween costume. Not really a wide selection of clothes.

I haven't come out to anyone but my mom, who I'm guessing is hoping it'll pass. My dad thinks it's just a phase.

I have a right to be who I want to be right now, don't I? At least start?

[suzifrommd]

I have a right to be who I want to be right now, don't I? At least start?

Of course. You have more than a right. You have a psychological need to be who you are.

Some things to try:
* See a gender therapist
* Try borrowing some clothes from a female friend or buying some at a second hand store or someplace cheap. See what it feels like to go out (safely) in public.
* Read up. Learn about how to present as a female. Makeup, voice, fashion, etc. You don't have to do it all at once. Baby steps.
* Make some changes to your presentation. Grow your hair long (if it isn't yet). Get your ears pierced. Grow your nails long. See whether you like those changes.

Maybe it's a phase. If it is, you do no harm by moving ahead with exploring. But if you really are transgender, and your experience is like a lot of ours, you will find your gender harder to ignore as time goes on.

Good luck Clarice. Enjoy the ride.

[ClariWithStockings]

Actually.. My mom MIGHT let me see a therapist. I mean, I'm pretty sure she asked before. She didn't mention a gender therapist, though. But, maybe I could ask about it. Doing that actually slipped my mind. Thank you!

As for the other things. I can't do some of them, atm. I'm under 18, so I wouldn't be able to get to a store to get women's clothes without them. (Still no license..)

Nobody but my mom knows, either. So.. my only friend couldn't come along with me, to ease the nervousness. I had my hair long, for a bit, but had to have it cut. (I agreed to it because I was tired of it being made fun of. I hate that decision, and regret it, badly.)

But the gender therapist thing. That might help get me started with this. Once again, thank you! I'll try that. What if.. somehow the gender therapist wouldn't believe me, though? I mean. I've heard of some doing that. Some do, don't they? I absolutely know nothing about gender therapists.

[LordKAT]

Discount stores for ladies under things, like hose, can help calm the beast. Would your mom allow you to shop on your own for a bit, like maybe in a different store while in the mall or something?

[suzifrommd]

What if.. somehow the gender therapist wouldn't believe me, though? I mean. I've heard of some doing that. Some do, don't they? I absolutely know nothing about gender therapists.

Sorry to say but there are incompetent gender therapists.

However, if you see a therapist and they turn out not to be helpful, you can always turn around and see a different one. I would say that any therapist that doesn't believe you when you tell them your feelings is one that should be dropped like a hot potato.

If you decide to transition (a ways down the road, I know, but I started planning my transition before I even saw a therapist), there are advantages to starting young.

[ClariWithStockings]

What I'm thinking is, that if a therapist DOES act like that, my mom would somehow stop listening to me, and just use what the therapist said as an excuse, from that point on. I'll try asking her about a therapist, soon. If.. I can get the courage to. I've tried talking about it before, but my the replies have always shot down any suggestion/idea I have, and have just made it harder to talk about with her. I'm not ever sure there are any gender therapists around where I am. I'm sorta limited to not traveling very far, atm, due to a few reasons. So.. I'll have to look and check if there are any close here at all.