Recently out trans, what can I do to start transitioning?

[AoifeoftheShadows]

I just recently come out to my friends (who are really more like family), and now I want to really start transitioning. I've been trying to get my hands on some cute camis for the past little while, but no money. But other than camis, what can I really do to start transitioning? Apparently I have to live as a woman for two years before HRT. Is that some bull or what?
Also, I can't do anything too 'in your face' as I live with a very homophobic and transphobic father.
I consider myself a femme lesbian, so that should affect my wardrobe choices

[Jessica Merriman]

Start at the beginning and ask yourself why you want to transition. For most of us it is a feeling of discomfort with our bodies. When it gets severe and starts to impact daily life it is called Gender Dysphoria. Find a good therapist who has experience with gender issue's. Explain to the why you feel like you do. This is where most of us started. They will give you guidance on what to do next. 

[Lauren5]

It all depends on where you live for the HRT requirements. But living full time for two years seems a bit much. I'd suggest looking a bit more into that.

[Thylacin]

The first thing I did was removed all my body hair. It felt great and was a nice first step. Then starter laser hair removal on my face. I also came out to close friends and family. Experimented with make up.

Apparently I have to live as a woman for two years before HRT. Is that some bull or what?

Is this something you are certain of, or is it what you've heard?
AFAIK, that kind of requirement is not really a thing anymore (and it would be completely absurd if it were). Talk to your doctor and if you don't have one yet, find a therapist. If your doctor told you that you need to go FT for 2 years, find a new doctor.

[Emo]

What country do you live in?
If youre in the US, you have several options.
1 go to a therapist to be diagnosed as having GID.
2 get "informed concent" for straight away hrt.
They have done away with the living as the preferred gender thing here due to a discrepancy about further mental health reasons.
Main thing you should do is just do as much research as you can and make up a plan to go to a gender therapist or doctor.

The users above me said pretty much everything else there is to say. Theyve been through it so follow their advice and you should be fine.

[kathyk]

Your profile shows you're in Canada, so you should be able to start HRT after you begin therapy and demonstrate a desire, or need to transition.  Contact your doctor and talk about it.  Very few countries still require RLE before HRT, and I'm sure one of the girls here from Canada can give you more information.  After all I'm in California, so what do I know about Canada.   

[amber1964]

I do live in Canada and there is no such thing as a real life test of any kind in order to be prescribed hormones. Most doctors use the guidelines issued by the Sherborne Centre, they operate under an informed consent model. From the date of my first doctors appointment to getting my prescription for hormones was less than 4 months. So whatever you heard or was told is false.

Best advice I can give at your stage is to find a good trans doctor, if you PM me I will send you a link of all the ones in Canada. START ELECTROLYSIS asap so long as you are certain. Its expensive, painful, tedious and it takes forever.

If you need any help with our system you are welcome to ask me. I live in Ontario but can put you in touch with people pretty much anywhere.

[Jamie D]

I just recently come out to my friends (who are really more like family), and now I want to really start transitioning. I've been trying to get my hands on some cute camis for the past little while, but no money. But other than camis, what can I really do to start transitioning? Apparently I have to live as a woman for two years before HRT. Is that some bull or what?
Also, I can't do anything too 'in your face' as I live with a very homophobic and transphobic father.
I consider myself a femme lesbian, so that should affect my wardrobe choices

You profile says "Canada."  I don't think there is a 2-year RLE before HRT.

[big kim]

I started eletrolysis,had my eyebrows plucked and growing my hair out from a DA and bought some tops and T shirts to wear with jeans.I also experimented with make up and nail polish til I got the hang of it

[amber1964]

There is 100% definetly no real life test in canada required for hormones. Even for government funded GRS the real life test is one year, not two. How stupid anyway to insist on a real life test for hormones when doing so succesfully without them is close to impossible?

[Cindy]

I have just received my copy of Standards of Care v7 in the mail. There is no requirement for RLE listed.

[AoifeoftheShadows]

Thanks ladies, these are some very good tips.
Again, as I said, I live with a very transphobic dad, so I can't do too much, but I'll do what I can.
As for the 2 year RLT, my friend/little sister was researching TG, and she reported a 2 year RLT, which I thought was absolute bull, but I didn't find anything to the contrary, so I believed her.
I'll look into electrolysis later, but for now, I'm just gonna get clothes and makeup and stuff like that. My friend/little sister will go into the stores to buy stuff for me, if I don't buy them online.
And I can't PM anybody yet, minimum post limit or something?

Thanks a bunch,
Aoife

[amber1964]

Please take care. I do volunteer work with young ladies, many who left home at 15-16 years old due to the kind of circumstances you describe. Just remember, a secret is only secret when no one else knows. Parental issues are very hard. I am a grown woman, but my father cut off all communication with me when I told him, extended death threats and I have not spoken to him in years.

[AoifeoftheShadows]

I plan on coming out on my 18th birthday, and if my dad kicks me out, my friends have offered me places to stay for a short while. At least until I can get my feet under me. First doctor's appointment I get after my birthday, I'll ask about HRT.

[Jamie D]

Thanks ladies, these are some very good tips.
Again, as I said, I live with a very transphobic dad, so I can't do too much, but I'll do what I can.
As for the 2 year RLT, my friend/little sister was researching TG, and she reported a 2 year RLT, which I thought was absolute bull, but I didn't find anything to the contrary, so I believed her.
I'll look into electrolysis later, but for now, I'm just gonna get clothes and makeup and stuff like that. My friend/little sister will go into the stores to buy stuff for me, if I don't buy them online.
And I can't PM anybody yet, minimum post limit or something?

Thanks a bunch,
Aoife

Yes, you need a minimum 15 posts.  It is a security measure to protect the members from spammers and ->-bleeped-<-s.

[Phoenix_2812]

As there is no requirement for rle/rlt in the US, does anyone know about the requirements in the UK?

[vlmitchell]

Before anything, go read some stuff. TS Roadmap is a good starting point but really, know what you're getting into, get yourself prepared for it, and do things right. The more you know, the less dumb mistakes that you'll make.

This stuff isn't easy or without risk, you need to know what you're doing.

[RosieD]

As there is no requirement for rle/rlt in the US, does anyone know about the requirements in the UK?

It varies a bit depending on what bit of the country you are in. I'm in South Wales and had to do three months before the referral to an endo. I believe England is the same as Wales tends to do whatever Charing Cross tell them to. There are hints here and there that Scotland has no requirement for RLE but I haven't seen anyone from Scotland saying so. Northern Ireland is a complete mystery to me.

Rosie

[musicofthenight]

Pick cool name?  Ooh, check. 

Learn to take care of long hair so you have the option of growing it out.  Seems our culture discourages boys from learning nice self-care skills: hair, skin, etc.  And body dysphoria doesn't exactly help.

I'm not even that femme, but shaping my eyebrows, looking in the mirror, and recognizing myself looking more myself than before was one of the coolest things ever. 

Get a good skincare routine.  Then you can research what kind of makeup works with your skin type.  Start with a good foundation match.

Psychologically, look for moments where you gender-police yourself ("...oh, boys don't do that...").  You've likely internalized a lot of that junk and you deserve none of it.  You might also have doubts about yourself.  This is where therapy really shines.

Also, from a clinical care perspective, your psychological state determines how badly you need HRT.

Clothing and femme look... Thrift stores!  Thrift stores rock.  Though, first spend some time trying to understand how sizing works, and maybe get a dressmaker's tape to compare your own measurements.

Most important: cultivate supportive relationships with friends and family where you can find them.