28 and counting, am I me?

[alyssa24]

What's up everyone  I'm a 28 year old confused person in a gender dysphoric state.  I'm genetically and biologically a boy but ever since the age of 12 I've had feminine tendencies poking their faces out through different aspects of my behaviour.  I would cross-dress with sister's clothes before graduating to buying my own clothes.  Now that I'm 28, I've discovered that in many situations I secretly wished I was the girl...be it during an orgasm or in a movie scene between a boy and a girl or in relationships with my guy friends...I would automatically take the role with deeper feminine traits...anyway...I've taken the COGIATI test and got the score of 200, that means I'm 4 - probable transsexual with androgyne traits.  I know it's not scientific but I'd like to meet other people from here who's gotten more than my score or around my COGIATI score and later decided to transition as a m2f transsexual.  Thanks !!

[Jessica Merriman]

A big warm welcome to the family baby! Your story is so much like mine and all the others here. You are at the right place to learn and discover all about this issue from people living it every day. This is the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow (literally).*giggle* Anyway, relax, know you have family here who will do whatever they can to help you on your new journey. I took the COGIATI and pretty much pegged it out. I was afraid the transgender police were going to show up and take me away!  PM me if you ever need anything. Here is a BIG HUG ( ) to start your journey with! 

[Rachel85]

Welcome Alyssa!

It always amazes me to see how similar peoples stories can be I was very repressive with myself in terms of investigating what being Trans* was (I didn't know the word existed twelve months ago!).

I think the best thing you can do is learn what you can and keep investigating this aspect of yourself. This site is a great resource

I would also recommend you to consider seeing a gender counselor too or someone with professional experience with gender issues.

I did the COGIATI but as with any test, it isn't perfect and you shouldn't take it as gospel, but I can share that it did help me start thinking that maybe I am not so much the boy as people thought I was. That early piece of validation was nice

GL with your journey wherever it may lead you and welcome to Susan's!

[DriftingCrow]

Alyssa, welcome to Susan's Place. I hope you find the support and love that you deserve here.

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Thanks,
Henry

[Jill F]

Hi!  I didn't transition until I was 43, so congrats on figuring it out so young.

I did that COGIATI thing, as well as every other pseudoscientific (and I'm being generous about that) test on the internet.   Every damned one of them told me I'm pretty much female.  It wasn't anything I didn't actually know already, but I suppose I wanted some further evidence to confirm my suspicion.   I had my wife do all the same tests just for giggles, and she always came out more masculine that I did.

I think the best and most accurate gender test is this question-  Do you feel male, female, in between, neither or sometimes one or the other?

Please see a gender therapist before the dysphoria wrecks your life.  I ended up trying to drink myself to death before I finally got therapy.

[Jamie D]

Welcome Alyssa.  It sounds as if the dysphoric thoughts have been with you for a while.  I can tell you from personal experience, it is never too late to address those feelings.  Ultimately, it is your happiness that counts.

[Emmaline]

Hey Alyssa- welcome onboard!

The big thing with trans is there is no test (well, post mortem they can, but its a little late if you ask me).  Ultimately if you are at war with dysphoria, this is the place.

I was 38 when I finally put the peices together- gender is a difficult puzzle.  It is so wonderful you got there at just 28.

I love your name by the way.  Nice.

[gennee]

Welcome to Susan's, Alyssa.

[sprouts]

Hi alyssa ,

I'm kinda new, too.   I know there are all kinds of awesome resources on Susan's.  My first step was to talk with a therapist, and I also researched a lot.  Good luck and I hope to see you around   BTW - I'm Juni