Oh god I though I was finished with all this. 10 days in after saying never again and I want to kill myself. I don't know what to do any more. I can't take talking with another bloody helpline. Thought I could wait until I was 18 and go see a psychologist and work these things out in private but tonight it doesn't feel like I'll last. Even if I could find a psych who wouldn't parrot everything to my folks like I am 8 years old they'd just section me and then it'd all happen anyway.
It's just this happens again and again and again and again since I was 12 and maybe I should just accept this is what is meant to be and get it over with.