I honestly don't know where to begin.
Well, I accepted the fact I was transgendered on November the 24th, 2013. The feelings had been there for years, but it just felt so odd back then. I tried denying it, I shoved it under the rug while I was in high school. I never fit in as a male. I could fake it all I wanted, I never felt truly happy on the inside.
I am 18 now. I graduated from high school and I am entering my second semester of my first year of college. However, I am still living with my parents, as I commute to and from school.
I fear my parents will not support me. In fact, I'm fairly certain they won't. They are very religious, while I am the exact opposite. But I know coming out is a necessary step, because if I lie and hide it for even longer I may never get to live the life I want and need.
The desire for transition is strong with me. I go from being super excited at the thought of being able to transition to being depressed thinking that I may never get the help I need.
Overall, I am very happy and excited that I have accepted being trans. I am very excited for what my future may hold. On the other hand, I am nervous and unsure about what I need to do to make it a reality.
My first therapist appointment is scheduled for February 3rd. It's not a gender therapist, but I am hoping that this regular therapist can send me in the right direction of a gender therapist.
In the mean time, I hope to finish out my second semester of college. I don't like it there, but I have to at least finish out the year before I can move on. I also plan on getting a job and saving up so I can move out on my own this summer.
But I am going to need to come out to my parents before that. Hopefully after a lot of therapist sessions.
Once I'm out on my own, I hope I will have a lot more flexibility to pursue the life I am truly meant to live. I have an acquaintance who is willing to help me get on my feet in a new area and introduce me to the local LGBTS groups there.
The future is promising, getting there will be the hard part. But I am so glad I accepted who I truly am. I have so much to work towards and look forward to in my future.
